disagreeing so badly.. the conclusion..

I prefer your choices. Your husband's choices do seem a little dated. And not just dated, but names that have become a little 'tarnished' over time. Terry for example, it doesn't seem 'chav' but it does seem a little under privileged or something. Like a depressingly ordinary name. I can't picture a baby called Terry.

Grant is alright. Tyler is nmsaa. What was the other one?

I love Bonnie and George though.

I'm trying to get a handle on his style so i can suggest names in between your two styles. It'll be hard though!

I think you have to come to a compromise - it will always be a bone of contention if one of you gets 'your name' (trust me on this).

I think you are at an advantage if your dh is willing to write a list of his own. My dh didn't see the point and just poo pooed all the names I suggested to him. In the end I had to force him to write his top ten as a starting point. I did the same and we each chose two names off each others list that we could live with.

It also opened up a discussion for us. He likes plainer names whereas I prefer more exotic ones so we discussed why we liked each name and looked for a 'substitute' to satify us both.

Also, you could rate your names - giving your favourite 10 points and your least favourite one point. Do this for both your lists then see which name has the most points. At least it makes choosing a name a bit more fun

You're well suited. All your names for this baby are horrible! I think you should get the book out and start again :o

Dear me you must name this baby, your DH's choices are awful!! Baby Terry? You'd end up lying out if embarrassment when strangers asked its name!!!!

Harry is lovely though, that'd do fine!

Oh God, you can't do this, if you end up with a boy with one of your DH's names (which are almost entirely horrific btw), you could very well end up resenting him for the fact that your child has to walk around with that as a name.

Find a compromise. What you are planning at the moment is not a compromise, it's a recipe for disaster.

I have a friend who thought this was a good idea (DH choose boy names, she chooses girl names) until she realised her DH's list included Danger.

I think your DH is stuck thirty years in the past! I've noticed this a lot with guys especially - they like the names they grew up with and don't realise that names like Amelie are actually pretty normal and popular amongst their kids' generation.

I'd recommend the pair of you print out copies of the top 100 names in the UK from last year. Each of you sit separately with a couple of highlighter pens, highlight the ones you love and the ones you like. Then look to see what common ground there is.

This approach has the added benefit of teaching your DH what is and isn't 'normal' these days.

Top 100 last year

George for boy Georgina for girl
Sydney I hate as it's a city
Terry not to fussed. Could live with it
Amelie I like
The rest I don't like
Not really much help am I!!

My friend did this - she had two dds in the end, so got to choose both names. But she and her ex had a horrid relationship and could never agree on anything. I think it is very important to keep going until you have a name you both like.

Just a thought - does the fact that you are basing the conversations on 'your names' and 'his names' mean that it is harder to come to a compromise? (From my own personality, I know that I would begrudge going for one of 'his names' even if I loved it as I would feel that I hadn't had a proper say!!)

Maybe you can go back a stage and go through a name book/internet name list and both give each name 'points' without either of you claiming 'ownership' over the name. Hopefully then you will be working on more neutral ground...

How on earth can he think that Bonnie is 'trashy' and then suggest GRANT?

Harry as the compromise name. Definitely. Shake on it NOW.

Sydney for a girl I like! Could you have that as a middle name (to cheer him up a bit) and then continue working on a compromise girl's name?

There WILL be something out there that you both can bear!

I agree with the long list idea. It's what I do with my husband (who has little interest in names) - give him a ridiculously long list of names, have him cross of what he doesn't like and give a rating for the rest (because otherwise I'll just get 'yeah, that's okay'). We did this just yesterday for girls' names, and finally whittled down to a top 3 short list we both love, including two names I liked but didn't love until we started talking about them and I'm far more content now having our short lists for each sex done.

I think you should have the final say anyway - it's your fanjo making the sacrifice!

I think the baby is both yours and his and I really would go for a compromise that you are both happy with. TBH I can see where you are both coming from although I dislike Tyler.

I think both writing a list of 50 names each and then swapping lists for crossing out/keeping may help.

I think a compromise would be best - not good to have one of you think a name is great while the other doesn't like it.

Terry and Grant??!

Heheheee he IS a big silly!

If my dh thought Terry a suitable boys' name I would file for divorce....

And Sydney is a girls' name.

So you'd really prefer to be delighted with the name you'd chosen and your dh be gutted?! Or vice versa?

Personally we always waited until the baby was born before choosing and then were always able to find a compromise we were both happy with whereas beforehand we often disagreed.

I can see why you don't like any of your dh choices, Grant? Terry?? Good lord, I know it's bad form to hate peoples choices of names but those are hideous!

I don't like any of his choices. Actually they are horrid. I like your girls' names but prefer Harry for a boy.

Well I wanted Sidney and DH wanted Ethan and we still managed to find a name we liked...