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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

How To Use MIL's Name as Middle Name Without Offending my DM?

30 replies

midori1999 · 14/05/2011 17:28

DH and I would like to use my MIL's christian name, Susan, as our daughter's middle name. Her first name will be Abigail. Neither of us especially like the name Susan, so it's more for symbolic reasons as my MIL has been so wonderful and thoughtful over the loss of our twin DD's last year.

The problem is, I am not sure how to broach the subject with my DM or if she will be offended that we have chosen MIL's name as opposed to hers. (I think I have already upset my paternal Grandmother as I used my Grandfather's name as the middle nbame of my first son and when she asked if we had middle names I just said we didn't know yet)

I really don't want two middle names and my DM's name begins with an 'A' also, so there's no way we could use it as an only middle name anyway, IMO, and I think it would sound odd if we used it in conjunction with Susan.

Any ideas of how to bring it up sensitively?

OP posts:

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hippy1952 · 17/05/2011 18:56

Just call your daughter whatever you want to. My daughter gave her first daughter her other grandmas name as her middle name. I had no problem with it.

startail · 16/05/2011 13:27

I like Abigail Susannah better than Abigail Susan.
There are going to be a lot of XXX Susan in the next few years (There must be a million granny Sue's in the pipe line) and Susannah is just that little bit different

otchayaniye · 16/05/2011 13:14

I had this. I named my daughter Carmen (after my MIL's hated Spanish mother in law) and her second name is Lois (after my mother)

I think she was offended briefly. But she came round and never said anything about it, just looked hurt.

We named our daughter for our reasons, not to please my mother, or my husband's mother. Anyway, she likes frilly names ending in 'a', or parlour-maid names, and we don't.

That said, I'm having another girl and although she hates the first name we've picked (Hedy) we are maybe (I say maybe as I'm not hugely keen) giving her the second name (Rita) of her mother. In the interests of fairness.

Call you child what you like. You can't please everyone, or even close to everyone, so don't bother! Plus once the baby is here they begin to appropriate and inhabit their name in a way that's their own.

ShoutyHamster · 15/05/2011 11:13

Actually it's entirely equal:

Sus for Susan

Ann for annette

Exactly the same number of letters represented in the name

Ah! at the end to mark the amazing cleverness of your plan

ShoutyHamster · 15/05/2011 11:10

my suggestion

You could most certainly say it's for both of them - Susannah is really the only combo that could link Susan and Annette so it should keep your mum happy.

Doubtless she will frantically search for something that puts the Anne bit first (!) - but there isn't anything

And YOU know that the inspiration behind it was your MIL

And it's a beautiful name too - nicer than Susan really!

Original poster

midori1999 · 15/05/2011 10:59

Thankyou all very much. For now we are going with Susannah.

careful, I know that my MIL will be unbelievably flattered and extremely happy we have used her name as a middle name.

OP posts:

confuddledDOTcom · 15/05/2011 01:06

I did the change from Susan to Lily as we couldn't find any names it worked with!

I like the idea of using Susanna to combine their names, you're quite fortunate really that you can combine them.

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene · 15/05/2011 00:50

I wouldn't want anyone to name a child after me, as I've always disliked my own name.

Tolalola · 15/05/2011 00:33

Yes TSC is right, either Suzette or Susannah would work really well (and both nicer than either Susan or Annette, imo). Great idea to combine them.

ChippingIn · 14/05/2011 23:45

I think you should stick with your MIL's name - it's a lovely thing to do and after all, it is his turn Handy, very handy that is!! Use it.

cat64 · 14/05/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheSecondComing · 14/05/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FessaEst · 14/05/2011 23:23

Abigail Susannah is lovely - and would avoid any trauma

MelinaM · 14/05/2011 23:16

Yes I see, Abigail Lily is rather a mouth full!

Susannah or Susanne are lovely, and would honour both mums

UrsulaBuffay · 14/05/2011 22:28

I think Susannah is a nice combo of Susan & Annette actually- tell them it's for them both, keep em sweet

LawrieMarlow · 14/05/2011 21:53

Susannah a nicer middle name than Susan I think (my middle name is Susan and would love it to have been Susannah)

Original poster

midori1999 · 14/05/2011 21:49

Thankyou. I have asked DH and he likes Susannah, so we may well choose that and it will save any upset.

OP posts:

ReneeBrightEyes · 14/05/2011 21:42

I was going to suggest Susanne, that way its a combination of both names.

MummyBerryJuice · 14/05/2011 21:29

Annette is a diminutive form if Anna...

NorksAreMessy · 14/05/2011 21:29

Susanette?

Original poster

midori1999 · 14/05/2011 21:27

I suppose I can just say my DH chose the middle name... We did use my maternal Grandmother's name as a middle name for our first daughter, which I chose, so I suppose it would be his turn.... (I am such a chicken!)

OP posts:

Original poster

midori1999 · 14/05/2011 21:26

Thanks. Currently the not telling her until it comes up after the birth is seeming like the best option.

My Mum's name is Annette and I just really don't like it (sorry to any Annettes or anyone who has one ) and think it all sounds like such a mouthful. What a pity she isn't called Anna!

Obviously if we used Lily my Mum wouldn't know the meaning, but our cat is called Lily unfortunately.

OP posts:

pilates · 14/05/2011 19:17

Abigail Susan A? (whatever your mother's name is)

Then you can please both of them?

ShoutyHamster · 14/05/2011 18:54

Could you change the name slightly? Abigail Susannah?

If your mum's A name is Anna that might be perfect :)

UrsulaBuffay · 14/05/2011 18:34

I did too Melina but Abigail Lily might be a bit of a lllll gob full, shame.

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