Are we being mean not telling anyone our names?

it is absolutely the best thing to do ... look how many morons on here ask for people's opinions about baby names then get offended.
the only people who should have a voice on this matter are you and your P

I only ever asks about names out of politeness. I don't care particularly what name you choose, but I do think secrecy about names can come across as being a little precious. Even if you told me I'd probably forget 5 minutes later.

If I were you I would just say "Well really we are just not sure, I mean ?>

I always make a point of not asking anyone who is pregnant what names they've chosen but I do think in general that people are interested to know.

I've named 3 children and made the mistake of discussing my 1st dc's name with anyone who asked. Luckily I got mostly a positive reaction but not everyone will like the name(s) you've chosen and will try to suggest alternatives. I stuck with my choice all the way through my 1st pregnancy but with dc2 and dc3 it was more difficult to agree on a name we both liked. For this reason I didn't discuss names with anyone other than my DH - it was hard enough for the two of us to agree.

However, we did join in with general discussions about potential names but we never let on what our favourites were although we did throw a few of them in to test the water.

I don't think you are being mean by not telling anyone else your chosen names. Your MIL will find out soon enough when your lo arrives. Maybe to keep the peace just give her a long list of some of your favourite names and see what her reaction is to the one you've chosen (without her actually knowing it's the one). I did this with my Mum and she didn't like the name we chose for dc3 at all, but that didn't put us off - it was just very amusing.

Don't tell!! All you'll get is endless suggestions of alternitives and "Hmmm what else can you think of" and "oh I really like xyz"

I could never keep my choices to myself but I bloody wish I had!

oh this is totally normal I think. my xmil bugged me to let her choose basically. She wanted james or chloe and when I said no those names aren't right for me, she dramatically sighed 'you have to think of the child'. Every name I suggested to my x, and some he might have grown to like, she PISSED on them before he'd had a chance to let them brew iykwim. With the result that my dc1 has a name which is perfectly normal and acceptable for her generation, it's not a problem but it's a bit more magnolia than I would have gone for... I wish I'd just refused to discuss names at all for the 9 months and then after dc1 was born (minutes afterwards) put forward my favourite names in order.

I agree with your decision. I did the same (my Mum was also desperate to know but hid it not that well). For us it wasn't about introductions or creating suspense but simply that I didn't want to hear other people's opinions on it. A negative reaction really can spoil a name for you, but if you wait 'till the baby is actually here then most people will say what a nice name it is whether they like it or not

We were very cagey with everyone, 'cause we didn't want someone to nick the name before DS arrived.

We just told people that we had "names" and would decide once baby arrived. As it happened, we also found out the gender and didn't tell anyone that either, so DS was known by his name between DH and I from 20 weeks scan onwards.

Stick to your guns, it's your baby!

i don't understand why anybody would tell people beforehand tbh, just as I don't understand why anybody would find the sex out beforehand. Both are something that, imho, are initially only the business of the couple - and then they get to announce both once everything is done/okay.

Stick to your guns and get your dp to tell his mum it's going to be called Beelzebub.

I think people like to talk about baby names though...isn't that part of the fun of having a baby? Don't you want to know what people think of your list? I know I did, but we're all different.

My cousin recently had a baby and didn't tell anyone what they were calling him, we thought they were going to call him something outrageous or very trendy or wildly different and they called him Jack. We were like ' oh what was all the fuss about?!'.

However, your baby, your rules. Good luck.

We are not telling anyone, Im so excited that we picked a girls name and a boys name that we are both happy with. I want my husband to introduce the baby to everyone, I dont want people knowing beofre hand, and I am too fed up with the catbumface! Or the other negatives you get.

I am annoyed today though as my DH has just told me hes told a mutual friend our names, beacuse she told him hers, but shes not keeping them a secret. Men!!!!!

If you dont want to tell then dont tell, and tell your mum that you want to introduce the baby properly to people including her.

One thing I did though was to say they were welcome to make suggestions. But as I never commented on their suggestions, they soon gave that up!

Definitely don't tell. Newmummy is quite right. I wouldn't tell anybody and lots of people found it hard to accept . Tough!

DH says 'Tell them you're calling it 'Judas Adolf Saddam' if it's a boy and 'Lucretia Lolita Jezebel' if it's a girl'....

(Oh dear, now I've gone and realised that Lucretia Lolita actually has a nice lilt to it...)

YANBU at all!

With our eldest I told him not to tell anyone our names because I didn't want people's opinions on them. I don't mind telling Mum because she won't give me a negative opinion unless she really believes it and if she was asked for a name she'd give me a silly old ladies name because she knows it's our decision, although she did list Welsh names for us last time because we were looking for one. I told him why I didn't mind Mum but I did anyone else. He went and told his mum and nan, guess what happened? They didn't like any names and told us what the other children would call her. I got my own back by asking his children and my brother's children which name, they all chose my favourite and the one that his mum and nan hated the most! Our youngest we actually told them because his nan was in hospital dying and we named her after his grandad and great-grandmother (nan's MIL) but we told them the day before she was born.

One of the biggest reasons I don't want to tell people is I want to make the decision without their negativity (why does no one ever give positive feedback on potential names?)

Haha x-post bornagain

I think you're being very sensible. We decided (more or less) on DS's name before he was born but didn't tell anyone - firstly because we wanted room to change our minds once we'd actually seen him, and secondly because if anyone had done a catsbumface at the name, I would have got really hormonal insecure about our choice.

I told my mum his name on the phone from the hospital and she sounded a bit but once she saw him it was fine.

I should add it's not a weird name at all! I just didn't want people passing judgment on it before the event.

I think it's quite normal to keep the name under wraps until after the birth TBH. Why not tell your MiL a couple of ghastly names to throw her off the scent, then when you announce the real name you can say you changed your mind because you thought she didn't like it?

Just make them up. Say, "well actually, we have decided on Crystal for a girl and Zebedee for a boy". That'll shut them up

nooooooooooo.

secrets can offend. and usually do.

I would just be honest - we want to keep it a secret and you are driving me bloody mental by asking all the time. Respect our decision and you will find out when the baby is born - now drop it! (But then I am a bitch!)

Of course you shouldn't tell them if you don't want to.

But do it as "we haven't decided yet" and not "we are keeping this secret".