DSs sharing a name?

Congratulations, what lovely news.

I know two sets of brothers where the eldest's middle name is the youngest's first name. One set grown up, the other 14 and 12. Both happy with it and never been any problem.

I've been rethinking this and it occurs to me you'd save a fortune on name tapes & labels.

And it is wonderful news that you are having another baby. Congratulations!

Oh just do it. My DH has his older brother's middle name as a first name. It's a bit of a family joke, but nobody worries about it least of all him.

My 3 DD's share a name, it's my surname.
Admittedly in the case of all 3 it's a middle name but nevertheless it's a shared nme.

It's common practice in Scotland.

I know the situation is a bit different but I think you should go ahead particularly because your boys will have an explanation that links them both and highlights what a blessing they both are.

I think in your circumstances that it is perfectly okay.

I don't think it is too wierd.

Could you possibly give him a diff first name and then Xavier as a middle name then call him Xavier.

Then he has his own name and also neither child says "why is Xavier, Xavier when it's my name" - it is in fact both childs name but only 1 uses it.

"He'll probably like the idea if you put it to him as 'do you think it would be nice if we named the new baby after you?'"

That is quite manipulative IMO. A 4yo can't possibly understand the full implications of it, and will probably just answer what they think the parents want to hear.

Please give your DS2 his very own names. I agree that a name is part of your identity and it wouldn't seem fair on your DS1 if he has to share one of his names.

If your DS is 4 then he's old enough to ask about it. He'll probably like the idea if you put it to him as 'do you think it would be nice if we named the new baby after you?'
Or even add a middle name to DS1's name at the same time as naming the new baby so DS1 gets a new name as well as DS2 sharing his name?!?

I wouldn't personally. It seems a bit unfair to your eldest.

That's so sad sparkle, but op's situation is very different. I think it's fine to use Xavier again, it will make it a family name and most people never even get to know the middle names anyway.

sparkle, sorry to hear about your experience. You make a very good point. A name is much more for a child - it is his/her identity. In answer to the OP I think your DS2 deserves his very own names.

Think very carefully about this, it has the potential for huge upset and distress at a later point. My parents had a still born child two years before me, I had always known about this but somehow had the impression that her name was Sarah. I later found out (after a very drunken evening with my dad a little while after my mum had died) that they had in fact named her Kathryn - MY NAME. Your name is your identity, to find out it's not actually yours is very upsetting. It had huge fall out for me and my dad, on top of my mum's recent death, and frankly was still an issue between us when he died a few years later too. I know all the logical, rational reasons for it, but it simply felt that they didn't actually want me for myself, but wanted her back instead. That I didn't matter, that I was simply a vehicle for a name.

Please don't do it.

How often do you ever use DS1's middle name? If you don't then go for it - DD3 has a similar name to DD2's middle name (one Emily one Amelie) but no one has ever commented, because DD2's middle name is never used.

I feel that every child deserves their 'own' names. Would you use your first child's name as middle name for DS2?

I think you should use it. It won't matter at all and you will probably regret it forever if you don't.

My sister had the same problem, gave dd1 her favourite names and then had dd2. She agonised for days and in the end used dd1's middle name for dd2. Nobody ever mentions it, no big deal in my opinion as middle names, especially in the UK, are hardly ever used. HTH

hmm, i see why you would want to do it, but DS2 might see it as your 2nd fave name as otherwise you'd have named DS1 that and not used it as middle name IYSWIM?

If it were me I'd have a think about another name.

i had a similar issue in that when i was pg with DD1 i had one name, it was my favourite girls name. When trying to think of a name for DD2 nothing seemed special enough. It was really difficult. In the end, after a difficult birth, we named her after my late gran and it suits her perfectly!

You will find the perfect name!

"Loads of siblings have the same middle names"

Really ?!

Loads of siblings have the same middle names don't they? So I don't see how one having it as a mn and one as a first name should be an issue.

Here loads of girls are called Maria Something while their sisters are called Maria Something Else.

It's a tough one, i'll give you that...! Part of me thinks, you have already used Xavier for your DS1 and it's his name. Why not ask your DS1 what he thinks? Afterall he's 4 yrs and no doubt excited about having a new brother, he might be happy to share his name...??
Or maybe you could suggest he helps pick DS2 name or middle name instead. It maybe would also make him feel involved and still special....

What about calling your DS2 Alexander (full name) and having Ander as his nn???

In my opinion Xavier already 'belongs' to your DS1. There must be another name you love - have a look at the ONS statistics from last year - thousands of lovely names on there .

Exactly the same happened with my cousin, she thought her DD would be her last so she used her two favourite names but then along came DD2.

She gave DD2 the same first name as DD1's middle name and the girl's love it. They have no issues and think it's special. Both girls are in their teens now too so not likely to suddenly change their minds about it.

Middle names are rarely used anyway so if you love Xavier then go with it

I think that there is such a special story behind it for you to tell your sons (and they are the ones that matter) that it would be fine.

Congratulations