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Baby names

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Original poster

How do I 'get over' a name?

42 replies

SarahScotChristmasSpirit · 30/12/2010 17:47

Ever since we found out we were having a girl I have wanted to call her Marnie. I LOVE the name. DH said I could basically choose this baby's name as he chose DS's name.
However, in the last few days he's told me he doesn't like Marnie and we have to think of something else. But, I CAN'T, I can only think of Marnie, nothing else comes close. It doesn't help that he doesn't actually have any other suggestions. I feel he's been incredibly unfair letting me carry on for months thinking my daughter's name is Marnie, in my mind that's her name now and I can't think of or like anything else. Maybe if he'd told me months ago that he didn't like Marnie I would've been able to dismiss it and move on.
Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad

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Original poster
SarahScotChristmasSpirit · 30/12/2010 19:39

Wimple, what was your other name? (desperately clutching at straws, we must have the same taste in names.)

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 30/12/2010 19:35

I love Marnie...my DH didn't. Then I loved another name which he refused...we called DD something else and I have NEVER gotten over "my" name. I still hope I will have anoher girl and this time I will insist on m name. It feels right.

CharlieBoo · 30/12/2010 19:33

Yeah you both have to love it, its his decision too. Marnie is awful in my opinion...

Original poster
SarahScotChristmasSpirit · 30/12/2010 19:32

Okay, sensitive hormonal pregnant woman here, already upset by the 'loss' of a name I love, the slating comments aren't helpful.

Also, I never stated I was going to force DH into calling our daughter a name he didn't like, and completely agree that would be completely unreasonable. My original question was 'how do I get past it', not 'how will I force my DH to agree with me.'

I'm sure I wouldn't like a lot of your children's names, but I wouldn't be rude enough to say it, especially when not specifically asked. If we all liked to same names none of us would have a problem with naming our kids would we? Grin

OP posts:
Lamorna · 30/12/2010 19:18

It has to be a joint decision. All my DCs have different names to the ones that I would have chosen on my own. Names are always a compromise, unless you are lucky. It is a bit rash to say that one can choose, and something to regret if they come up with Marnie!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/12/2010 19:17

If you force him into a name that he has told you he doesn't like, couldn't that affect his bonding with your DD?

We found it really hard to find a girls name that we both liked and this was also hampered by DH not suggesting anything but saying no to a lot of my suggestions. In the end we named her once she arrived.

FWIW Marnie sounds like Sarnie. Don't like it at all sorry.

cumbria81 · 30/12/2010 19:04

it's his child too and if he really doesn't like the name it's not fair to force him into it.

find something you can both agree on.

FWIW, I don't like Marnie at all.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 30/12/2010 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockinRobinBird · 30/12/2010 18:16

Well there is that. Until he comes up with some suggestions then he's not really in a position to object.

Besom · 30/12/2010 18:15

My dh was a bit like this in the sense that he kept saying no to everything I suggested but failing to come up with anything of his own.

After dd was born he suggested one of the names I had originally said.

Pinkflipflop · 30/12/2010 18:09

I would just be firm that it's Marnie until a suitable alternative is, if ever, decided on.

V unreasonable of your dh.

I know a Marnie - she's 3 and fab. Love the name.

Komondor · 30/12/2010 18:08

If he doesnt like the name - back to the drawing board.

Personally I do not like the name.

Original poster
SarahScotChristmasSpirit · 30/12/2010 18:05

MontySorry, love your name btw. And yes, I think I'd be less pissed off if he actually had any alternatives in mind!

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Original poster
SarahScotChristmasSpirit · 30/12/2010 18:04

RockinRobinBird, it's not so much that he was getting no choice at all, I wouldn't be that of a dictator. The problem is that he let me think he was okay with it so it became more and more set in stone in my mind.

Besom, I'm 30 weeks so have time to get over it I suppose. I cried when he told me so yes, I think he probably knows but has chosen to ignore the fact I was that upset by not mentioning it at all.

OP posts:
montysorry · 30/12/2010 18:03

I think he's being unreasonable as he said you could chose and also because he hasn't come up with anything else.

RockinRobinBird · 30/12/2010 17:58

Maybe he found it hard to speak up if you were so dead set on it. Sounds like you were being more unfair to him by not giving him any choice in the matter, sorry.

Besom · 30/12/2010 17:55

If he genuinely agreed you could choose the name, I think he needs to let you choose the name.

How many weeks are you and have you told him how upset you feel about it? Does he really hate it or has he just gone off it a bit?

I think it's a lovely name btw.

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