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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

baby name list - etiquette

30 replies

tiredfeet · 20/08/2010 12:28

I just wondered if people have had to deal with similar situations to this, and how you handle it? - we were out at a meal with dh's sister and her husband, and the topic of baby names came up (I'm pregnant, 33 weeks). They asked if we had a list yet and I said we were just beginning to think about names (didn't want to encourage the conversation as I want to only discuss names with DH). She then (and she's not pregnant yet) announced that she keeps a list of potential names and that she's really annoyed as a few of the names have been 'used' by her friends, and then was about to get the list out and show it to us (the implication seemed to be so that we wouldn't then use the names). Luckily the waiter came at that point and then I managed to start a new topic of conversation before the names thing could crop up again, but I'm pretty annoyed about it. DH said that if the list had come out, we could have just said ' oh yes thats on our list too' whenever there were names that we liked, but still, it would have potentially caused problems with her if we then used one of the names.

Or am I being unfair in being annoyed with her? If it had been one name, that she had absolutely set her heart on, I might have been irritated but I think I would be a bit more sympathetic, but a whole list seems a bit much to me.

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plonker · 20/08/2010 12:38

Bonkers!

theladylobster · 20/08/2010 12:37

Your being perfectly OK to me

I think she is getting a bit ahead of herself, if she's not even pregnant or planning on getting pregnant yet how can she reserve a name?!?!

That's like the bridezilla's reserving theme colours for their future weddings they will have when they dont even have a fianced yet!!

We have had this as well from a friend, her telling me what her names are, when she is not even at that stage in her life yet, thats exactly why i have insisted on not discussing it with anyone but DH, i would keep it that way if i was you, and any chatter about it from her just change the subject - she is being silly!!

First come first served

kiwidreamer · 20/08/2010 12:36

It astounds me how adult women (maybe some men too) think they can own a name by putting it on 'their list' - truly ridiculous behaviour! If she had told you her most treasured baby name in the whole wide world, that had very special personal meaning to her, then I think it would be nice gesture to not use the name but she does not have dibs on a list of names just cos she likes them!!!

I say steer well clear of any baby name discussions with her around so you dont have to worry about family upset if you happen to chose a name on her list!!

SoupDragon · 20/08/2010 12:36

She carries the list around with her???

AMumInScotland · 20/08/2010 12:34

The only way to "claim" a name is to have a child and use it, and even that isn't 100% as (believe it or not) there are not as many different names as there are children. Grin

If she does show you the list, take DHs advice and say something like "Yes, we've got quite a few of those on our list too" and then change the subject.