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Baby names

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Original poster

Dilemma with SIL over boys name.

28 replies

sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:12

Sil recently (may) had DS. She decided on the mane Lewis whilst pregnant, when he was born James and the 2 weeks after he was born changed it to Simon. He was registered as Simon James.
I am 32+5 with twins. We had a name picked for a boy and a girl from the beginning and our boy was to have James as a middle name. (no problems so far) However, when SIL called her little boy James and then changed it to Simon, my DP said he realised he really liked the name James and if we were to have 2 boys he wanted our original choice and James. I agreed. (James is a big family name on both our sides).
When i visited MIL on thursday she said SIL was on about changing Simon to Lewis by deed poll. I made the mistake told MIL our change of plans: by Monday Simon had become James again. (MIL hated the name simon)
Mentioned it to Sil and she acted like she didn't know (can't tell whether she did or not).
I told DP over the phone last night (he works away) and he is adamant that if we have 2 boys we are still going ahead with James.
I have said your parents can't have 2 grandsons with the same name, but my mum just pointed out that people call their children after themselves, so some people have a son and a granson/daughter with the same name....what's the difference?
Problem is SIL may keep changing (she is 18yr old) or may change cos we're adamant and then there might only be 1 boy, so not an issue.
What do you think? (It has taken us this long to agree on a 2nd boys name, so not easily changed)

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lilmissmummy · 22/07/2010 14:09

My ds' name is the same as his cousins name and the two boys absolutely love the fact their names are the same. It has never been a problem even though their surnames are the same too!

The grandparents call one by his name and one by his nickname.

duplotogo · 22/07/2010 13:58

We have a big family and my brother has the same name as a cousin and two other cousins have the same name as each other, several uncles have the same name (mixture of birth and by marriage), my DH has the same name as one of my cousins, and my daughter has the same name as another cousin. My son has the same middle name as my nephew - his cousin.

Honestly it is not nearly as confusing as it sounds! There is Jo's Jim and Bill's Jim and Big Jim and Paul's Elizabeth and George's Elizabeth and so on.

CharlieBoo · 22/07/2010 13:53

I agree with valiumsingleton. If SIL has James, then it would be strange for the grandparents.

As much as I agree with the poster who said about a friend picking a name when pregnant and wishing she'd have had it, family is different. Friends change over the years, but your SIL and your nephew are always going to be in your life. I just wouldn't want my son to have the same name as his cousin anyway.

valiumSingleton · 22/07/2010 08:56

I like Diggory. I never read Harry Potter though. It could be the most evil sorcerer ever and I just think, hmmm, like it.

Or is it from Bob the Builder? Anyway, I definitely like it.

valiumSingleton · 22/07/2010 08:54

With any luck you have another 6 weeks for your SIL to finally choose one name.

I think it would be fine to use James as the middle name. But I think two cousins with the same name would be problematic for some members of the family. There will always be people who say 'don't be silly it doesn't matter', but it's hardly ideal, and it isn't the done thing now even if it was the norm 200 years ago. Two grandsons called James will mean that the grandparents will have to refer to their own grandchildren as james H and james B.

Original poster
sassy34264 · 22/07/2010 00:25

ThenextMrsDepp Was sat here fretting after last post that you may have it as a name or someone you know! Thought also it reminds me of something a tractor might be called on bob the builder or Thomas the tank!

teamcullen Awh, that's a lovely name, just the type of name i like.

Think what i should do, is start a new thread that says 'How can i get/manipulate DP to call second boy Nathaniel' (my second choice after Jacob)

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teamcullen · 22/07/2010 00:08

My DS is James Joseph.
He was supposed to be called Jamie but it never stuck
He is now called James, Jay or JJ He is now 11 and was only ever James until a couple of years ago, when all his friends names got shortend.
Mainly he is called James.
Could you not tell a little white lie and say he is James but will have NN and then say after a few weeks that it didnt stick or suit DS or it didnt sound right with other twin's name

TheNextMrsDepp · 22/07/2010 00:07

Don't know WHERE Diggory came from, was just trying to think of the most awful boys name I could.

Original poster
sassy34264 · 22/07/2010 00:00

lovely74 2 brothers with the same name!
The mind boggles.........

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Original poster
sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:57

ThenextMrsDepp Diggory! Sounds like a male pornstar!

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Original poster
sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:55

Our original boys name is Jacob. Was going to be Jacob James. We thought we could have Jacob/Jake/JJ. I suppose we could have James and some middle name begining with D, T or P and then he could have the nickname JD, JT or JP. Erm, don't like JP. But we -DP, DD, myself and my side would call him James- and DP's side could call him his initials?

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lovely74 · 21/07/2010 23:53

I have a friend whose dad and uncle (his brother) are BOTH called Thomas!

When Dh's cousin was PG she called my MIL to say she really liked [DH's brother's name] and would she ind if they used it. MIL said no find your own name . That made no sense to me at all!

It's one of those things that some people don't care about at all, and others are really funny about. Personally, if I had a name I loved I'd use it regardless.

TheNextMrsDepp · 21/07/2010 23:52

True, there are a lot of James about. Maybe Diggory wasn't such a bad idea.

SE13Mummy · 21/07/2010 23:50

If you don't like any of the nicknames for James then perhaps you should stick to using it as a middle name... DD's Reception class has 4 Jameses who've either adopted their full name i.e. James Smith, initial - James A. or Jamie/Jimmy. None of them is known as James!

onadietcokebreak · 21/07/2010 23:49

Call him James....shorten it to Jamie [ex flame swoon emotion]

Your SIL will get over it.

I always regret not calling my DS Samuel because a friend who was due at the same time wanted it and declared it first! I future I wont be considering friends and family.

TheNextMrsDepp · 21/07/2010 23:49

Suggest put it out of your mind until SIL has finished prevaricating. You have a little time. Maybe another name will spring out at you.

teamcullen · 21/07/2010 23:47

Call him James. At the end of the day they wont be living in the same house so whats the problem. And children quite like having the same names, it might help them bond better when they get a bit older and SILs DS wont feel left out by his twin cousins.

I have a friend who has a son called Jake/Jacob her DH has a DS from his first marriage with the same name so when they are together one is called Jacob and one is called Jake.

You might find that one of the James' ends up being called by a nickname and it will never be an issue.

TheNextMrsDepp · 21/07/2010 23:46

Actually, I think Jim is quite cool, my friend has one.

TheNextMrsDepp · 21/07/2010 23:45

sassy34264 - in my dreams, in my dreams.... as soon as he dumps that silly french trollope!

Original poster
sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:41

thenextmrsdepp
I hate Jimmy, Jim and Jamie! I already know Sil hates Jimmy and Jim. Could get DP to persuade her to call him Jamie.

By the way, couldn't you be ThefirstMrsDepp?
He's never married her, so maybe he's waiting to meet you.

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ZacharyQuack · 21/07/2010 23:39

Keep quiet about your name choice, and if asked be vague "we're thinking maybe David or Arthur" - don't mention James again.

SIL will probably change her child's name again, and if she doesn't, call yours James anyway if you like it. MIL can call SIL's DS Jimmy and yours James.

floozietoozie · 21/07/2010 23:38

Sassy, I have two first cousins on the same side both called Mark. There is about 16 years between them though. With the younger Mark, my aunt's (ex) husband really liked the name so it obviously didn't put them off, but I guess your age gap is much, much smaller. Good luck.

Original poster
sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:37

imarriedafrog No worries on that score really. i get on really well with MIL and DP is not a mummies boy at all, so would do whatever he wanted with no influence and would not let them attack me/take it out on me.

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TheNextMrsDepp · 21/07/2010 23:36

Tell her you've decided to call yours Aloysius or Diggory, and see if she goes for that....

No seriously, you'll be OK. Go with what you want. As someone pointed out already you could have Jim, Jimmy, Jamie, James etc.

DH, his dad and two of his cousins all have exactly the same name (first name AND surname). They are Irish, but he somehow coped.

Original poster
sassy34264 · 21/07/2010 23:34

Bertie Don't think she is picking James because we like it. She never knew James was our choice for the middle name of our original boys name. My MIL referred to him as Jimmy a couple of times and SIL hated that. That is what made her change it to Simon. However my MIL hated Simon and made it very known....saying Siiiiiiiiimon and saying he would get called simple.
I think (and both my DP and my mum thought this before i did) that my MIL has said to SIL, your brother is going to use the name James, so you will be stuck with Simon if you don't move quick.
When i told her our choice for 2 girls she said i like...... Meaning she didn't like the other! Told her she would have to lump it.

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