To not want my kids grandparents to sleep naked with him.

But I don't believe it is inappropriate for my children to see some adults naked.

And their bodies are not private at this point, I have to change nappies and bathe them and so on.

OP - perhaps this is just a cultural difference, as i see that your ILs are swedish and you live there now?

I don't envy you!

Normal.....erm? It's taken a lot of training to extract much of his TheSun behaviour, but there's still so much to do. So many issues....

Ah, didn't realise we were still talking about your in-laws.

I wouldn't accept such crudeness in front of my kids and I wouldn't allow anyone who says such things in normal conversation to bathe my kids either.

Is your dp normal then?

As in my parents wouldn't be naked, but my mother has showered/bathed my dcs.

By the way no shame in nudity, but no need to be naked with my ils...or them be naked in front of my dcs. My parents never EVER would but I would feel comfortable about my mother showering my dcs.

No no no, not sexual....crude. So they may say something like 'ooo get off my tits' or 'don't stare at my dick' ...or 'ooo you little pervert' etc.....,

I am talking about my control over things not theirs.

KERRY, my DS3 DID try to suckle on his Granny during an overnight stay when he was about two and a half; he climbed into bed and attempted to pull her nightie down, saying "time for boobie milk now Granny".

Luckily my Mum is not prudish and we all had a laugh about it, especially as Mum is rather flat chested!

Oh well any other adult would immediately lose all control and become a menacing sexual predator

I understand how your experiences and childhoods can influence your thinking on this, but I also think that your implication that adults are not to be trusted with children, that the naked body is not to be trusted and that adults would become aroused by sharing a bed with a child is alarming.

And whilst I realise you have not actually said any of those things, they are implied in yours and Kerry's posts.

If you really do think that, then perhaps your childhood issues have not fully been dealt with. Don't confuse sex with lust and don't bring up your children to be afraid of sex and/or intimacy. You may not think you were doing it, I'm sure my mother didn't think she was creating a sense of self-loathing in me, but children pick up on an awful lot. There is no shame in the naked form, adults DO have a lot of self-control, even if a child does poke our bits out of curiosity, we are not going to turn around and start abusing them!

Well, my reservations would be the control of how an adult, besides me or DH would handle it. I am the wrong person to be on this thread as I loathe my inlaws with a passion and my parents were prudes. We even said chest of chicken!!

What if a curious child touches an adult?

What do you think will happen? Some sort of chemical explosion?

"maybe not in bed with granny but what is being established here is a level of intimacy that would make it fairly easy for someone who would want to abuse a child to take it to the next steps outside of the bed with granny....."

That would extend to the parents, then, as well?

Either children are able to distinguish between close family members who parents have agreed to sleeping over with, and other people.
Or they aren't.

If it is not OK for grandparents then by defintion it is not OK for parents.

I am just flabbergasted that anyone can think that a child being in bed with parents and brushing against one of their genitals is the same as child molestation.

Child molestation is child molestation, if someone wants to do it and has access to a child then they will do it irrespective of what anyone is wearing in bed.

Surely better to keep a close eye on who has access to your children, and teach your children about what is appropriate and what is not.

Saying grand-dad is going to be driven to assault one of his grand-children, because he has been in bed with the child and granny one morning, is ridiculous.

Agree with Kerrymumbles

"maybe not in bed with granny but what is being established here is a level of intimacy that would make it fairly easy for someone who would want to abuse a child to take it to the next steps outside of the bed with granny....."

Maybe you could get your son to tell all the neigbors about the big wart on granny's arse. That might curve the habit. (I'm just kidding of course)

If the boy isn't disturbed by it, if he is happy to talk about it and if he is going willingly into their bed in the mornings - then may I suggest that this your problem rather than his?

I already said that I would feel uncomfortable with it, but then I would have to examine myself and ask if I am being reasonable or not? I would look to the child for guidance. Why put adult worries and concerns onto the shoulders of a child? He is not bothered by it at all, so perhaps you should take your cue from him.

"Very weird people allowing in laws to be naked with children, I mean they're not your parents are they?"

No, but they are your partner's parents, and, from my POV, DH's parents are to be trusted with my children as much as my parents are.

(Not that we have the nakedness thing anyway, all GPs here are of the PJs persuasion).

not being one for sleeping in the buff myself I obviously don't appreciate the feeling of liberation It must bring bring!! however i wouldn't with my own kids and certainly not with anyone elses, neices etc. I really wouldn't be happy about letting my child sleep over.I would broach this very soon and not leave it until the next sleep over. Not sure how you would bring the subject up though, I'd leave it to your dh . he's the one with the weird parents after all (LOL) imo it is totally inappropriate and I would be very concerned if they think you are being unreasonable

Rhubarb, I don't think my inlaws are a danger tio children, I just can't stand them, they have no morals or values that I share.

I am curious on what planet anyone except parents would feel it's okay to be naked in front of children? Is there really any need? What if a curious child touches an adult?

Very weird people allowing in laws to be naked with children, I mean they're not your parents are they?

Would you get into bed with your Grandparents naked as an adult?

Ermm no but I also don't take all my clothes off when my friends come round and make mud pies

It is also the grnadparents that everyone is talking about ie granny and grand-dad.

I also don't like this idea that grandparents are just any old people. They are our parents, the people who raised us and bathed us and changed us. They are not just some random off the street.