sexual behaviour in 7yo

The police can get investigate a group of adults who fail to stop a 7 year old behaving in this way.

I don't think you can call the police - the minimum age of criminal prosecution is 10, so I don't see how they can get involved with anything below that, I assume it is down to the parents. MillyR, when they say 'older, more influential person' I assume they mean someone who is also an adult, or at least teenager.

It doesn't sound normal, I think you definitely need to talk to his mum again. It wouldn't really be fair to call SS or similar before you had a proper go at talking to her about it.

I never saw that version of the Lion King

From a Social Services website:

Sexual abuse involves any contact or interaction where a child or adolescent is used for the sexual stimulation of an older, stronger or more influential person. This may involve direct or indirect sexual exploitation or corruption of children by involving them in inappropriate sexual activities. It includes any touching, stimulating, rubbing, or patting that is meant to arouse sexual pleasure in the offender. Sexual abuse can also involve sexual contact between a significantly older child and a younger child. In addition, it includes exposing children to pornography and unsuitable videos.

Not sure about rushing in with SS/police and the like.

When my niece was 3 she kept trying to stick her face in her older brother's groin, and repeatedly tried to lick him there. DSis was very worried until she discovered her DD was copying behaviour she'd seen watching The Lion King.

God, something similar happened to me when I was very young, not sure what age. 2 neighbours, older boys, tried to put their hands down my pants. I remember vividly the skirt I was wearing because it was my favourite and I later put it on one of my dolls, a big doll but never the less it indicates how young I must have been when it happened. Strangely I am still friendly with both guys now, it never happened again and they both turned out ok as far as I know.

Agree that your Sil/Bil need to ensure the boy knows how wrong it is, you've had lots of good advice already here. And as I'm sure you have already, support your DD and reassure her that it's not her fault and you will protect her.

I'm so that your DD has gone through this.

I agree with Wannabe. Playing doctors and nurses (with curious investigations) with peers is one thing, but a 7 year old targeting a younger child and being persistent even after she's cried and told and lying about it is extremely worrying. Again, where did he learn this behavoir - it needs invetigating, however unpalatable to you, the kids need protecting.

this is not normal behavior.

But tbh I wouldn't be speaking to your bil/sil about it. If this child has/is being abused you have no idea who the abuser is, and given your sil's reaction it could well be happening within his own family.

I wouldn't speak to them about it again, and i would call SS in the morning and voice your concerns. Currently there are two children in that family who might be at risk.

I've experienced something like this with an older neighbour, when I was 5. He wanted to try 'naked dancing' in his den in his bedroom. I ran downstairs and wouldn't go round to his house again.

I'm sure you will have to make very careful arrangements to be sure that your DD is not left alone with her older cousin again.
The parent doesn't sound at all sure of what to do or say.
A 7 yr old shouldn't be accused of anything too serious, or scared too badly, but they should find out that this is inappropriate behaviour, with very serious consequenses.
If the 7 yr old is for some reason targetting very young toddlers like 3 year olds he could meet a child who cannot even speak yet to tell what happened.

my friends son had a cousin, a few years older than him who told him to play "jesus" and he indulged in very sexual behaviour. they were in their early teens. my friend wrote the boy in question a letter, saying if he ever ever did this again she would tell his mother. it didnt happen again.

not sure what you do with a 7year old though. i would have to have words with parents i think if they are rellies. after all , she witnessed your son saying that her son had his hands down her pants. id be asking what she intends to do about it before i involved outside agencies. that should put the wind up her enough to act.

YANBU. This would really worry me! Like others have said, the fact that he is lying about it and doing it in private shows he knows it is wrong. Your poor DD is obviously very distressed, I hope she forgets about it.

And like others have said, where on earth would he have learned to behave like this? The mothers attitude is disgusting really. She should talk to her son and your DH really needs to talk to his brother whether he has a temper or not. He should be 'defending' (not really the right word but can't think of another one) his DD.

I think I would ring one of the children's charities advice lines for advice from an expert. I was abused by an older child and I wish someone had taken it seriously (it went on for a year and the boys mother was told by his sister what was happening, but she chose to ignore it). It took years for my self esteem to recover. Your DD, and other children need you to do something if the boys mother will not. He may not realise what he is doing is wrong, or it could run much deeper, but either way it needs to be addressed.

the fact that the boy is secretive and lying about what happens is a worry imo.

Like meltedchoc, my question would be 'where did he learn this behaviour?'. His father has a terrible temper (bad enough for his brother to hesitate to broach the subject) and his mother sweeps things under the carpet. Doesn't sound the happiest of homelifes, does it?

someone has shown that wee boy , he has repeated the behaviour on the ops dd . who ever has shown the boy is at fault. the police should be called in to find the original abuser. the parents are not going to be helpful with this because they know more than they are saying, or they are mortified so deny anything happened . either way that doesnt help the children.
op so sorry your wee girl has been through this.

I have a 7 year old and no way would they act like that. Doesn't sound right. Very sexually aware (and mine isn't at all). Alarm bells would be ringing for me.

I'm not sure what you do but I definitely wouldn't leave my 3 year old alone with him.

I don't think the issue is the intentions of the 7 year old. The issue is that the adults are not protecting the little girl from touching that she does not like, on or near her genitals.

No advice, sorry, just wanted to say sorry Lordy what a crappy situation for you

YANBU to expect some action from his mum. I would be concerned as your DD is quite a bit younger than cousin and from what your DS said cousin is trying to manipulate your DD. Maybe his mum doesn't know how to address the situation. Sexual issues can be very difficult to discuss for some families. Most importantly you need to protect your children. I wouldn't speak to the cousin directly as wouldn't think it appropriate but think it does need to be raised again with his mum or as you suggest by your DP with cousin's dad, his brother. Especially as cousin has a 2 yr old sister and he could be doing the same to her. It may be innocent on his part and it is completely normal to be curious but his parents have to take responsibilty for guiding him on what is appropriate, he's only 7 after all.

Alarm bells ringing for me. That is beyond normal curiosity, and the way he is reacting to the suggestions... Maybe you should have a word with SIL properly about it if you think a DH/BIL conversation would make things worse?

That's true Milly. If it was done in all innocence the 7yo would see no need to lie, not least to get angry when confronted.

If my DD thought for a second it was upsetting DS she would stop.

id be phoning the police . the 7yr old is abusing your dd .
where did he learn the behaviour? .