sexual behaviour in 7yo

Crawl back under your stone ..filthy NONCE.

Loudlass, my big brother used to lie on my and little brother when he wanted to physically stop us getting up and running off to mum. It wasn't remotely to do with abuse, just a convenient way for an older, heavier child to stop younger, lighter ones moving!

I agree that OP's daughter needs to be protected because this boy's behaviour is upsetting her. But I think it's a bit of a leap to be so suspicious that there's learned abuse in there and it needs treated very, very carefully and considerately.

Just wondering, does this boy have brothers/sisters younger than himself?

Where did a 7yo learn behaviour like this though? I have a 7yo ds, and I can safely say that laying on top of another child in that manner wouldn't even occur to him. There is something more going on there. (take it from someone who knows . Honestly, the best response would be to try to talk to your SIL, and if that gets you nowhere then contact social services, as whoever taught the 7yo this type of behaviour is abusing the 7yo, just as much as the 7yo is abusing the 3yo. DO NOT let your dd out of your eyesight around this young lad. And tbh, I'd be concerned about what he is doing with his 2yo sister as well. Someone has TAUGHT this 7yo the behaviour, and the cycle NEEDS to be stopped. NOW.

littlemama tbh I'm afraid whatever you do will cause a rift,
and that is how abusers get away with abuse, people being afraid to speak up

As everyone says keep your dd away from him, but as others said there are still 2 more children at risk,
I really think you should be approaching BIL & SIl and then consider contacting someone else for advice

Just because he is 7 dosen't mean he is not aware of what he is doing,
He knows it is wrong, maybe not why it is wrong or he wouldn't have lied and tried to do it again

I called him awful. The little girl hates this abuse. He lies about the abuse. He lies on top of her. For christ's sake, he is seven, not three. He is awful in this behaviour for doing something fully conscious of the fact that he is older and the little girl hates it. I didn't call him 'evil' or 'dangerous' or a 'sociopath'. Just awful - he needs help to stop the behaviour.

The main issue is that it's upsetting your dd so no, YANBU.

Agree with everyone who says contact NSPCC for advice.

Am shocked at the person (Vivia?) who described the boy as "this awful boy". The fact that he may have learned this behaviour via abuse does not make him "awful". It is terribly sad.

But no, it is not appropriate (although may be innocent ... he may have a friend with older siblings who have decided to 'educate' the younger ones). So either you need to be sure your in laws are taking it seriously, or you don't let your 3 yo be with him unsupervised.

It doesn't sound right at all.
I also think you should keep your 3 year old away from him.
It's not appropriate behavior. I'm pleased your DD is able to explain what happened. I'm not sure my 3 year old DD would be able to.

I agree that there are two children here who need help. OP do whatever you can for your daughter I really hope she is ok.

I would alert SS about her cousin. He sounds like a very troubled boy and is only 7. If you don't want to go down that route yet, try Childline or Young Minds - YM can give you advice on the pshycological affects and what some of the behaviour is saying and how to deal with it.

In the meantime, all the while the other parents are not dealing with it, you need to keep your DD away or ensure they are only together when you are present.

In your shoes I would contact the NSPCC for advice.

I've done child protection training & sometimes children who demostrate inappropriate sexual behaviour and/or knowledge (for their age)are often victims of abuse themselves. The denial by DN & the refusal of SIL to acknowledge the problem isn't a good sign either.

I'd definitely ensure your DD is never alone with him again.

I agree, with the best will in the world this is NOT an appropriate topic for her, Purely becuase this could be such a serious issue and you might be misadvised here.

Keep DD away from this child and get professional advice, please

Sadly it wasn't too long ago and she is still having therapy to overcome it. Her mum is a fabulous lady and despite being traumatised, she does understand that the boy is a victim too .

shockers , thats so sad . i hope your neice has recovered. , and doesnt remember.

Melted... the boy who raped my neice had been sexually abused on an almost daily basis by his elder brother who had in turn been abused by another person.
Both boys are in secure units now. You are right in saying that the pattern needs to be broken.

brams - i understand what you are saying , but children who abuse younger children are often victims of abuse themselves. The police should be contacted imo, because they will be able to find the original abuser and stop whats going on for both the children`s sakes .
Every sympathy for the op, and her wee girl ..

This is not right and the 7 yr old knows it or he wouldn't have lied. I would avoid any situation where your DD has to be near him. He has been persistant and predatory. My niece (3) was raped by a relative (child). Don't take any chances
This boy needs help too as his sexual urges are going to get him into a lot of trouble.

It is NOT normal curiosity, it is abusive and all about power. This awful 7yr old knows that your DD hates it. You know it is happening. Keep DD out of contact with him. Focus on keeping her safe rather than your SIL's reactions. I'm not sure where you might get advice on this, but I'm certain it's abuse. Please don't listen to anyone claiming this is normal curiosity. A 7yr old might explore their own bodies, small children of the same age might be fascinated by bodily difference: a 7yr old putting his hands down the pants of a 3yr old who says no? It makes me feel physically sick to type that. Please keep your DD away from this boy.

This is not an appropriate topic for AIBU.

It smacks of generational abuse.

Really worrying - the reaction from the "adults" even more so. Keep your wee girl well away and have serious stern words. She is only 3 and cannot protect herself.

Really odd