Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I tell my boyfriend the real reason I don't want a baby with him?

89 replies

merryalice · 11/05/2009 14:56

I have been with my boyfriend six years and he tries to encourage me to have his baby. He has no children, I have one. I have told him I do not want to start again having kids at my age - 40 - when I already have a teenage girl.
However, I am not adverse to the idea in itself, but I don't want a baby with him.
There is one simple reason - I don't want a ginger haired kid and I don't want a boy.
The chances of having a boy would be high - he is one of three brothers, his brothers have boys. They are all ginger. My boyfriend is the best looking of the brothers, the others are quite neanderthal looking although intelligent. Their kids are real odd looking and I just don't want to run the risk of having a kid who looks like them.
Should I tell him this? I have already said that if he really wants to have children he needs to think about moving on from our relationship.
Plus the thought of being tied to my boyfriend in this way for life is not what I want. I think I have had too good an example set with my girl, she is beautiful and intelligent and my relationship with her father is a great friendship which I will keep for life and I am pleased with it all as a whole. I also worry about not being able to love a new child as much as my girl -so perhaps the ginger thing is an excuse?
Any thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
skramble · 11/05/2009 23:57

Send him my way, oh yes!! .

GivePeasAChance · 11/05/2009 23:57

I think you really should tell him, and exactly as you have written it down here: Neanderthal nephews and all. I am sure he will understand

Let us know how you get on?

skramble · 11/05/2009 23:49

Oh I love a bit of ginger, always had a bit of a thing for ginger men, even whats his name on the Bill, you know in CID, you know back when it was about the job and not about them all shagging each other.

I am lucky to have a ginger haired BF and I would have a baby but I have 2 already and he has 3, so enough is enough already.

My thoughts...silly cow

BitOfFun · 11/05/2009 23:33

Maybe you'll have a girl? I've got a female gingernut of catholic descent (!) on my profile who I defy you to be rude about...although you might not have my genes, I grant you

thumbwitch · 11/05/2009 23:25

away with you, you gingerist!
I bet you have dyed your hair red at some point in your life, haven't you?
PAH!

cory · 11/05/2009 23:22

How surprised will you be when I tell you this is the first post by this troll poster?

Phoenix4725 · 11/05/2009 18:22

ginger and proud if you dont want him send him here would love a little ginger nut sincen one of my dc seem to took my colouring .

guess you must have something going for you can not think what though

FabulousBakerGirl · 11/05/2009 18:18

why do you want a boy?

Are you worried he will get with someone as vile as you?

Biglips · 11/05/2009 17:40

troll troll troll troll troll

BonsoirAnna · 11/05/2009 17:37

Just tell your BF that you will never want to have a child with him. You don't have to tell him why, but you do have to be prepared for him to leave you and/or look for another woman who would like to have a child with him.

dizietsma · 11/05/2009 17:34

Good god. What a horrible person you are. Tell him the truth and let him have oodles of beautiful red haired boys with someone who isn't as bloody shallow as you!

Poor man.

SemperEadem · 11/05/2009 17:30

Shes having a laugh! You have posted this for a ruccus to start - yes?

I think ginger hair is lovely - why would you not want to have a baby because he/she would be ginger .

So many people would love a baby irrespective of lots of eventualities fgs. Ginger hair is NOT a concern.

Crikey.... I fell for it there didn't I?

Off with you, troll

Ripeberry · 11/05/2009 17:17

This is a wind up! Op is being racist! Gingers are lovely and i've met quite a few.
Back to your cave, troll!

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 11/05/2009 17:11

This is hilarious..... a joke right? No?

Then you should not have any more children with anyone.... imagine they ended up with your personality..... ....

squeaver · 11/05/2009 17:09

No no no no no no no no no

That's not the way to do it. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just insulting.

Back to troll school with you.

themildmanneredjanitor · 11/05/2009 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamazon · 11/05/2009 17:04

really? is this is what troll school is kicking out nowdays?

come on. please try harder. a troll is meant to have at least the majority of piosters going for a little while.

now go back and start again.

MummyDragon · 11/05/2009 17:01

Thank goodness you have only had one child; who wants future generations to be brought up with your nasty prejudices?

oldspotraver · 11/05/2009 15:57

Than God you've given up breeding

Lizzylou · 11/05/2009 15:54

OP, don't sweat it, GCSE's are really easy nowadays, drink a bottle of thunderbirds down the park or something.

sobanoodle · 11/05/2009 15:52

Merryalice I take it study leave has started at your school ? How many GCSE's are you at home not revising for then ?

clayre · 11/05/2009 15:46

words fail me, if this is a joke it is a bloody bad one, i have a ds who is proper ginger and he is sooo cute, my dd is also ginger!

StayFrosty · 11/05/2009 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tamarto · 11/05/2009 15:40

If i thought it was worth the energy i'd post a suitable reply here, but as i think you are trolling a shalln't so there.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 11/05/2009 15:39

loopy I suspect her true colours are ginger and she is in denial!