to be jealous that my best friend has just had a.........

When I was having DD1 I wanted a girl as I was worried that I wouldn't know what to do with a boy (I was on my own and didn't know anything about space/dinosaurs/tractors) when I was pregnant with my second one I thought I didn't mind what I had,DD1 wanted a baby sister,daddy was sure he wanted a boy and I didn't really think I had a preference-I thought another girl would be nice but a boy would be good because it was different-I got another girl and now feel if we go for a 3rd i'd like a boy-although another girl would be ace too.
I have 5 sisters by the way...all girls is horrific!

Chooster, I hate the "smug" word too! wtf? As if your having daughters was a great plan of your own design?

well i always wanted boys, i now have 2 ad i'm pregnant with baby number 3, i think i'm destined to be a mummy to boys, but we'll see only 4 1/2 weeks to go. My best mommy friend has got 2 girls, so maybe she'll have all the girls and i'll have all the boys. I'd love a girl now i've got my boys. Just because i really love the relationship i have with my mom and would love to have that with a daughter of my own

Goodness me, I don't think I'd know what to do with a girl! I would be very happy to have a 3rd boy (if I am every brave enough to have another after over a year of sleep deprivation thanks to DS2)

No you are not being unreasonable as you feel the way you feel. Doesn't mean we all agree though . Personally I am very happy with my 2 boys and was genuinely shocked when, after having found out at my scan that DS2 was a boy, someone said, "maybe next time you'll get your girl". I honestly was stuck for words. My boys are loving, caring, funny, cuddly, adventurous - everything I could want in 2 chidren, regardless of gender. And they get on so well - I'm pleased for them that they have each other.

Maybe I feel this way because I really dont believe in this while attitude of girls staying close to their parents and boys drifting away. My Dh is far closer to his parents than I am to mine - in fact we live round the corner . I think its all about the way you bring you kids up and I dont see why boys are any more likely not to call their mum .

By the way, I hate that 'smug' statement that comes out on MN from mums of only girls sometimes - whats that about??? why feel smug? Having kids is not about how it makes you look to the outside world - I just dont get it

When we found out the sex of ds1 we'd just been told, following 20 wk scan, that he might die, so there wasn't really any room for emotion regarding his gender. As it happens, the hole in his heart that they were worried about never materialised, and he is fine (now 2.5). Now pregnant with dc2 and probably won't find out what sex it is until it's born (unless we pay for private scan). I don't feel at the moment that I'd be disappointed either way, but my husband is convinced we'll have boys all the way, despite the fact my sister has 2 dds and his brother has 2ds and 1dd.

Only scanned this thread, but am I the only person who doesn't want a girl particularly?

All my best times in life have been outdoorsy things - covered in mud go-carting, flying kites, sky-diving etc. It seems fitting that I have three boys. I also find boys/men much easier to communicate with and look in wonder at other mothers on the school run who do the fluttery eyelash/hair flicking/touchy arm thing when the meet up! Having said all that, I am a reasonably 'girly girl' who likes make up/jewellery etc. The only thing I am a bit ambiguous about is them not having a doll's house - but I may get DS3 one anyhow.

I really wanted a boy and luckily got one. I can't imagine yearning for a girl, maybe I will in a few years.

YANBU. But I wanted a boy, which I had. For some reason I did not want my first child to be a girl . Second baby was a girl which was rather lovely.

Well I will admit to feeling a little disappointed to get ds2 but he is such a darling, even with the strange planes, trains and automobiles obsession. But I wonder, if you only have boys, in 20 years time are you lucky to get a birthday card and a phone call once every 6 months?

It is chaotic but plenty of fun. It does help that ds1 and ds2 are older and do help out a lot

And agree with MrsTittlemouse, I often feel that people here on MN must think I always go about moaning about my lack of a daughter when in fact in RL I only really talk to dh about it. When I was pg with ds4, ds1 and ds2 came home from school saying their friends had asked them if I was hoping for a girl. I managed to look aghast at the thought. told them I didn't care, hoped the baby was healthy and in fact, maybe a little brother might be better for ds3 as they (ds1 and ds2) got on so well together. I do actually love them to bits and wouldn't swap any individual one of them for a daughter and would hate them to think otherwise.

Whiteteatwosugars, what are you going on about? My SIL had a baby girl 2 days before I found out ds4 was a boy. I was delighted for her as I knew she wanted a dd ( she has an older ds) but just a bit upset that I couldn't have the same thing myself. I'm sure that's also how the OP feels and shouldn't be too difficult to understand, surely! And we are still great friends and always will be!

my friend found out at her 20wk scan that her 3rd was a girl - just after I had delivered my 2nd boy (I had very much wanted a girl when I was pg, and knew no 2 would be my last).
I was definatley jealous - please for her, but jealous for me.
It certainly doesn't make me any less of a friend, I think I am a great friend to her.
It can be a natural feeling - as long as it isn't one that colours your relationship with your child, your friend, or their child.

I know. Poor Jamie Oliver's kid if it's another girl

Personally I didn't have any gender preference. I understand that people do though, and you can hardly help how you feel. So the OP is NBU. What is unreasonable is when people express their preferences in RL. We have friends with two DDs and we know that they wanted a boy. Why tell us? And don't get me started on celebrities (yes, I mean you Victoria Beckham and Jamie Oliver) - the poor children will have written evidence that they were the "wrong" gender.

When i was pregnant i had a preference for a girl, and thats what i got. Our family is full of boys, and i suppose i fancied a break from the norm! I also have a very close relationship with my twin and mother, and wanted to have that same relationship with a daughter. When im pregnant again, i wouldnt care what the sex is. And shoot me for it but i love pink.......

agree what an odd post sugars

and no op, YANBU, just human

what an odd post whitetea. Jealousy is a normal human emotion. It's helpful to share such feelings with strangers. I'm sure the OP is a perfectly good friend.

ffs she is your friend, you should feel happy for her, not jealous, then trying to make yourself feel better by posting your 'guilt' over a public parenting forum

you're not a real friend

People do keep saying to me though "Oh i bet your dp is thrilled he has a boy!"

My dp was genuinly never fussed what he had. He was thrilled he had a girl and loves her to pieces and would have loved another girl and is just as happy he now has a boy. He really didn't mind. I guess because he is in his 40s, he thought he wouldn't be having kids so is just grateful with what he has, no matter what sex they are.

My friend though who has a dd is pregnant with her 2nd baby. She doesn't know what she's having but has said her dh really wants a boy. If this baby is a girl, he wants to try for a boy he is that desperate. I feel abit sorry for this baby if its a girl tbh. Its like she will be a disapointment right from when she is born in her dads eyes

I have to say i used to be one of those people who would look and mums who had boys and felt abit sorry for them

Having never been around children or babies in my life and then having a dd, a girl is all i knew. I so loved having a girl, and yes i dressed her in pink. I relished doing all the mum and daughter things. I guess when i looked at mums who had had boys, i assumed that ALL mums longed for a girl so they could do that mum and daughter thing too.

When i got pregnant again, i wanted a girl at first. I suppose it was because i wanted to recapture those special mum and daughter moments again. Then i had my 20 weeks scan and didn't want to find out the sex of the baby. That's when i realised that i actually really didn't mind what i was having. I always said if my dd had been a boy, i would want a girl next. But already having a dd, i didn't mind what i had next.

Then my ds came along. He is only 6 weeks old now and i have to say he has stolen my heart. I bonded with him instantly, i statement i never thought i would say about having a boy. I guess before i was never the fussed about little boys but i love him so much, he is my little man. I am so glad i had a boy now!

I know i am lucky having one of each but my mind has shifted now and i actually feel abit sorry for mums who have all girls I guess because now i have had that special mum and son moment and it is wonderful

I adore my DS, and can't wait to teach him to ridea bike etc. No sludgy clothes here either - Red, green blue, orange, yellow. All lovely. I'mrather glad I don't have to shop in the pink section. I'm sure if I'd had a girl I'd love her just as much, but I was happy when he was born and they said boy.

I meant drowing obviously! Actually I think you should tell me to stick with 3!

By the way chipmonkey I always read your posts with interest as you seem to mirror my life and thoughts most of the time.

How do you find 4? I am drowing in laundry right now and 4 seems a major leap!

Very helpful, lollipopmother!

Probably unreasonable but then so am I!

When I went for my 20 week scan with ds2 I thought I had no preference. It came then as a huge shock to find myself crying after finding out he was a boy. I still feel guilty about that. Now I have 3ds and they are all gorgeous, but yes I do envy women with mied families. Not so much those with only girls, but I think it would be nice to have the experience of parenting both genders.

I don't really understand the problem. Boys and girls are different. Neither better or worse just different and I would have liked to have the experience of both. PLus for those that say they are not different talk to any primary school or nursery teacher.