to be jealous that my best friend has just had a.........

This thread is 16 years old.

No we don’t!!!!!! And I have spent years telling MIL that. Please don’t make her mistake and repeatedly say how much you wished you’d had a girls - in front of your two sons. It does not end well. One of these days I might be brave enough to spell out to her why she does not have a great relationship with BIL. She seems oblivious. But SIL is very much aware that BIL was a ‘disappointment’ from the moment he was born.

i have a dd who is gorgeous in every way but such a tom boy so you even if you fell pregnant with a girl doesn't neccessarily mean you end up with a girlie girl

Well, with 7 there'd be a reasonably good chance of getting a gay one, which would be ideal, really! All the girliness without the PMT!

I said I only wanted a girl before I had kids. (A son's your son till he meets a wife, your daughter's your daughter all your life)I thought a boy would just bugger off, never phone and let you fester in an old people's home.

Then I got a boy. And I love him soooo much, but hoped for a girl second time. Another boy. I couldn't love him more, but part of me thought - blimey, I'll have to do that again now, whereas I might not have felt that if I had got a girl. But then again, I probably would, and I wouldn't swap either of them for all the girls ever.

I do sometimes worry I might end up pinging out about 7 boys and never getting a girl. But then odds are one of my 7 boys would look after me in my doteage, no?

My DS is almost 2 and still gets lots of attention when we're out. I've noticed that I tend to notice little boys boys more too, having one of my own.

DS gets cooed over almost every time we go out, even now he's 18 months.

I think a lot of it might be to do with him spending lots of time in the sling so he can make eye contact with people. He's also blond - for some reason that seems to get the old ladies commenting - and, and I think this is the main factor, a HUGE flirt who beams at everyone...

Sorry, forgot I was on MN for a minute!
Flaithualach = Irish for generous!

No, it's definitely second-child syndrome in that case! I think people do just let you get on with it because they assumeyou're oan old pro by now! Also they assume that you already have loads of "stuff" so are less flaithualach with the gifts!

whitecoffeenosugar, i have actually been feeling quite sensitive about it. With my ds being my second child, i feel like i have been left to just get on with it. When my dd was a tiny baby i had countless visitors, phone calls, people cooing at her in the street/shops. With ds it's the total oppisite. I have had only a handful of visitors, no phone calls, the grandparents barely notice him and haven't bought him a gift (dd was showered with gifts from the grandparents.) I have been very underwhelmed this time and at times felt very alone. I thought maybe this was because he is my 2nd but now i am starting to think it's because he is a boy?

MsSparkle,
It can't be true, I experienced lots of cooing and nice comments with all my boys. In fact my last baby was three last December and he still frequently attracts comments and smiles !
It's still early days for you, it's just coincidental you happened to move around people like me who think ' oooh, a newborn', 'cute baby' etc but am actually too shy to say anything, though I might smile at the baby.Or people are just too busy with their lives or too grumpy and down ( credit crunch ? ).
Or maybe there's been a baby boom recently in your area and when people come across you and your little boy they've already done enough cooing for the day....
But I do certainly find that people coo more when your child wears a particularly cute outfit that makes him stand out and look particularly gorgeous. An extra cute hat always did a trick in my boy's case.I remember when he was about 5 months old, he had this really lovely blue outfit with stitched on puppy applique, with matching hat and booties, it was from Babies R Us, they sell some gorgeous stuff for boys. I was stopped countless times !
And as blackrock said, try to put him in a baby carrier, especially when he can face forward and see what happens then ! My husband just loved to carry our boy like this, I was quite amused how he revelled in those proud daddy moments.
I think your post made me want to make a bit more effort to overcome my shyness and say nice things , I do love seeing babies around, any babies, boys , girls, those you can't tell. By the way, I'm not generally shy, just not great at small talk with strangers.

MrsSparkle, I find that Mums of boys are much more likely to coo over baby boys than Mums of girls.
I do find lots of people coo at ds4. But they are usually saying "Aw, isn't she lovely!"

I used a baby carrier lots with DS and got a lot of coos and aahs where I live. Mind you people are very chatty where I live!

This thread has actually brought to light something i have noticed. When i had my dd, i used to get spopped all the time when out, especially in the supermarket when she was a baby. People used to just love her and tbh i was quite overwhelmed by it.

I go to the supermarket with my 6 week old ds without my dd as it's easier. No one stops to Ooo and Arr, i don't even hear people saying "Ahh look at that little baby etc..." I am very underwhelmed this time. With my dd not being with me, people wouldn't know he isn't my first baby.

I realise from this thread now that he probably gets no attention when we are out and about because he is a boy. People just seem to coo over little girls

Not at all. I have one lovely DS - 19 months - and am 23wks into second pregnancy and secretly hoping for another boy. Obviously, either will be great (you have to say that don't you).

wcns, I would imagine the doctor asked because statistically women with two of the same sex are more likely to "go again" (hate that expression!) than the "one-of-eachers"
FWIW, I am one of 3 sisters, (we also have a younger brother ! ) My sister is slimmer and prettier than me, always has been. But I love her to bits and we are the best of friends, I feel my life has been enriched by her company and neither I nor my other sister would be without her. And you can just as easily have a hunky guy with a weedy brother!

Would just like another child, not worried about the gender

Lunamoon, When I went for my baby DS3's six week check up, my doctor , a very nice caring woman, asked ' so is this your last one or are you going to try for a girl? Now, I would expect ( and did get it ) from some old dear in the street/shop but a doctor ?

Actually, I just realized this is the first time ever I got it off my chest , confided to anyone , the looks issue, as it is quite an embarrassing one to talk about from my perspective.

I agree with leo-why do all things masculine have to be pretty boring/concentrated on fighting. Eg no great clothes just boring old combats, jog pants in navy??
Gergeous clothes for girls around on the other hand.
Sad to hear the comments other people make about assuming people will want a girl/boy this time.
My friend when requesting to be sterilised was asked by her doctor "But don't you want to try for a girl next time?"
Silly response from a man who must surely know that it isn't that simple.

One aspect of sisterhood makes me somewhat relieved that I have all boys as opposed to more than one girl. It stems from personal experience. I'm one of two girls.My sister is two years younger. We have a mixed relationship,one moment getting on great,next ( now )not speaking. I have always struggled with negative emotions towards anything that my sister does that resembles, copies my life ( being SAHM for example). She does not do it on purpose, these things are coincidental but I just can't help feeling annoyed about it, like it threatens my own identity or something. I know it's unreasonable but please don't judge me, I don't act on these feelings, but they are just there, this resentment i feel at times, I hate it but can't make it go away. One explanation could be that although I'm perfectly happy to be a sahm and it is my free choice and works best for our family, I feel that some people ( family,acquaintances) judge my decision and
it's fine by me but coupled with my sister choosing to stay home and I do believe that we're judged that there is something wrong with our family, the way we've been brought up as opposed to my own thought trough decision.We both supported by our working husbands by the way.
It's not just sahm issue, the list goes on.
On the other hand my husband's relationship with his brother is sooo much simpler, loving,down to earth, practical, they never fall out, always there for each other.
Now , I digressed from what i really wanted to write, what really puts me off idea of two or more girls. Life is as it is, people are very judgy and some quite blunt with it. Girls are always judged on their looks. I happen to be, according to lots of people throughout my life, quite attractive ( haven't uploaded any pics so no point clicking my nickname )and my sister has been considerably less blessed in this department. I HATE it. I mean tbh being seen as all right ( I'm far from a bombshell by the way ! just quite pretty apparently) is obviously nice and in my experience helps in life but how I wish my sister was more on par. She is a really nice person,very feminine, looks after herself but since we were little there were always people who felt compelled to comment ( not to her face luckily) how much prettier I was/am. Many of my girl friends said it to me , I suppose meaning to pay me a compliment but to me it just felt like an insult to my sister, it hurt and I wanted to punch them( never did).The comments were not subtle, I remember one girl saying ' you're millions times better looking than you sister My husband said something similar to this......My sister's boyfriends( some) were less direct but still annoying by keeping on what a pretty sister she has. She sometimes mentions it herself, as a matter of fact, that I'm prettier and I hate that too, as I'm embarrassed and deny it.

My sister , too , has issues, like she believes our mum thinks more highly of me, regards me as a better mother to my children, more patient and is generally less critical of me (I do believe she loves us the same though ) My sister is quite philosophical about it but hurts to some extent.

Please, forgive such a winding post but I'm trying to explain well the whole situation, this world of constant comparisons between sisters. Do any of you have similar experiences ?

Perhaps as women we want, at some very, very deep molecular level, to replace ourselves, and so a daughter fulfils this need more obviously than a son.

Having said that, I sometimes look into my DS' eyes and see myself gazing back (not just the reflection!)

fwiw - I have three dds and they are far from pink and frilly and girly although dd2 has flashes of it.