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AIBU?

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Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

499 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BeKhakiReader · 23/10/2026 18:51

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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Christ. Are you STILL at it. Give yourself the day off. Can’t be good for your health, all this bile.

sociallydistained · 23/10/2026 18:46

Wow some employers are bloody awful. As someone who also works in private homes I’d be devastated being told this was such a problem for you. Maybe see her as a human being and stop being a Scrooge!

Excellentvintage · 23/10/2026 18:41

This is a wind up surely?!

BobbySox71 · 23/10/2026 18:38

I thought this was a wind up, I grew up on farms and they’re anything but quiet

AngelRoja · 23/10/2026 18:19

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

For heavens sake! If she was playing loud music whilst she works, you would have a reason to ask her nicely to turn it down, but in her own car driving up.and the leaving FOR A FEW MINUTES.......ordering her to turn it off on your property is going too far.

We are not in the age of Downtown Abbey anymore!

You could easily have asked her politely to turn it down a bit, but forbidding her is not a good look for you.

EDITED. Just read your replies and wish you had added a few more pieces of relevant information in your original post. It would have changed my response

Glad you sorted ot all out

Biscuitjockey · 23/10/2026 18:16

You’re abysmal. Take the stick out your bottom and hit it over your head. Hopefully some sense may prevail!

Biscuitjockey · 23/10/2026 18:13

You can’t control what she does while driving her own car. She works for you, you’re not her owner.

Bartonzam · 23/10/2026 18:09

Yes. Totally.

Tuesdayschild50 · 23/10/2026 18:08

Seriously wouldn't want to work for you .. you can't tell her she isnt allowed to play music.. who upset you jeeze .

GoldenGail · 23/10/2026 18:07

Is your name Megan by any chance?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/10/2026 18:07

Lyraloo · 23/10/2026 18:06

That’s because your a self entitled t* !

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🙄

Lyraloo · 23/10/2026 18:06

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

That’s because your a self entitled t* !

Zerosleep · 23/10/2026 18:05

What a crappy way to behave, you are a misery. What harm has she caused.

restingbitchface30 · 23/10/2026 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:43

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:41

Um, I didn't make her do anything and I did apologize to her once I understood her circumstances but then you all kept doubling down and defending her for berating her cleaner in person while criticizing me for supposedly “yelling” at someone online. Like, what? Also, I'm hardly the only person who told her she was out of line so I've no idea why you're so obsessed with me.

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I have not defended anyone. But you keep beating her up.

Obviously you have your own reasons for being so cruel. Hope that people will be gracious to you about your mistakes when you bother to admit them. You’ve been nothing of the sort to the OP.

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:41

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:35

Seems like your prior apologies to the OP were not genuine.

I, for one am very sorry she was goaded into sharing her health details with you. You didn’t deserve to know that.

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Um, I didn't make her do anything and I did apologize to her once I understood her circumstances but then you all kept doubling down and defending her for berating her cleaner in person while criticizing me for supposedly “yelling” at someone online. Like, what? Also, I'm hardly the only person who told her she was out of line so I've no idea why you're so obsessed with me.

Balloonhearts · 23/10/2026 17:41

NoMusicPlease · 23/10/2026 00:00

You have no idea what I've been through. You're using me as a punching bag right now and that's really not okay.

I suggest it's time for you to step away from this thread.

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Tbf you used her as a punching bag, so getting a taste of your own medicine was inevitable. What you put out there is what you get back.

Sussexserpents · 23/10/2026 17:37

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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No one thinks that!!!! Everyone is in agreement - including now the OP - that what she did was wrong. But all of us in the UK think the wage plus accommodation is very good for the role and the location. We honestly don’t care what your parents paid in Chicago to your cleaner who would have had to pay their own health insurance.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/10/2026 17:36

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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No, but you don’t need to pop on and say it at least once an hour, go get a life, read a book, find another thread… you’ve said it every way it can be said, you’ve been vile to OP multiple times, had posts deleted, been rude to loads of strangers. Why are you so incredibly invested in this thread?

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:35

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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Seems like your prior apologies to the OP were not genuine.

I, for one am very sorry she was goaded into sharing her health details with you. You didn’t deserve to know that.

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:33

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/10/2026 17:30

You still here banging on about not liking what OP did? We get it, you think she was shitty, well done.

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What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:31

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:28

Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

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The issue is resolved. The OP has more than rectified it. No need to keep beating her up.

You said you don’t know about the economics of the UK. Growing up rich in another country does give you any credibility with respect to that topic.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/10/2026 17:30

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:28

Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

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You still here banging on about not liking what OP did? We get it, you think she was shitty, well done.

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:28

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:21

Why are you continuing to criticise the OP after indicating you understood?

As someone familiar with both economies, it sounds like you are just looking to be right even after apologising.

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Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

OneSparklyGoat · 23/10/2026 17:21

pinck · 23/10/2026 17:08

I don't particularly care what the average cleaner earns in the US and if you'd actually read my posts you'd know I grew up in one of the most affluent towns in Illinois if not the entire country where my parents were paying $100 for three hours of cleaning two decades ago so considering the OP is presumably pretty wealthy herself given that she has a house that apparently needs eight hours of cleaning every single day, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect her to pay her housekeeper more than my parents were paying their cleaner 20 years ago.

And lol, what exactly were you doing to earn only $27k a year working 70 hours a wee, mopping floors cause unless this 60 years ago or some sort of veterinary internship that salary makes absolutely no sense for a qualified vet or veterinary technician and why on earth would a US veterinary clinic hire someone from the UK for a clearly unskilled position in the first place? Like, I'm genuinely curious what year this supposedly happened and what your actual job was, because you're leaving out some pretty important details.

And do you have any idea what wealthy people pay their live-in nannies, housekeepers, and personal assistants cause six-figure salaries for private household staff are hardly unheard of and once again, this woman is doing far more than just cleaning. She spends eight hours a day at the OP's house, does laundry, helps with groceries, keeps her company, and drives her places. She's essentially a housekeeper, companion, and personal assistant rolled into one so no, I don't think £120k is some completely unimaginable salary for someone providing that level of personal service to a wealthy individual.

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Why are you continuing to criticise the OP after indicating you understood?

As someone familiar with both economies, it sounds like you are just looking to be right even after apologising.