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AIBU?

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Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

500 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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QuestionableMouse · Yesterday 23:34

NoMusicPlease · Yesterday 13:20

She agreed to stay in the guest room last night and I'm really glad she deserves because when my husband went to feed and check on the cows, there's a big tree down across the lane to her cottage.

We've also got some flooding too on the main driveway into the farm and on the lane towards the cottage.

How are you all doing today?

NoMusicPlease · Yesterday 16:46

OutAndAbouting · Yesterday 14:36

Are you sure that it's sensible to post up photos of your area OP? I just did an experiment. If the pics are taken into google (not searched through MN) it shows the location, date and even tthe name of the person who took the photo.

Can I suggest you ask MN to remove them? I'm not sure that you'd want to be outed.

Take care.

Edited

Thank you. I didn't realize!

OP posts:
OutAndAbouting · Yesterday 14:52

NoMusicPlease · Yesterday 13:20

She agreed to stay in the guest room last night and I'm really glad she deserves because when my husband went to feed and check on the cows, there's a big tree down across the lane to her cottage.

We've also got some flooding too on the main driveway into the farm and on the lane towards the cottage.

Phew

OutAndAbouting · Yesterday 14:36

Are you sure that it's sensible to post up photos of your area OP? I just did an experiment. If the pics are taken into google (not searched through MN) it shows the location, date and even tthe name of the person who took the photo.

Can I suggest you ask MN to remove them? I'm not sure that you'd want to be outed.

Take care.

NoMusicPlease · Yesterday 13:20

She agreed to stay in the guest room last night and I'm really glad she deserves because when my husband went to feed and check on the cows, there's a big tree down across the lane to her cottage.

We've also got some flooding too on the main driveway into the farm and on the lane towards the cottage.

OP posts:
VeronicaDean · Yesterday 02:58

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 02:33

That’s $66K and a very good salary in most places in US. With housing provided it would be phenomenal.

It’s pointless to compare the cost of living between US and UK, too. It’s not enough to just do a currency translation.

I have friends who have lived in both places and said they earned much more in US (and had employer provided healthcare) but their standard living was infinitely higher in UK.

Edited

Absolutely. Comparisons between UK and US incomes, along with UK and US cost of living, are so very difficult.

That said, it seems that professional incomes in the US are significantly higher than in the UK and there's a much bigger gap between high earners and low earners - in the UK, we are, largely, all bundled together.

You can have someone on minimum wage, with no qualifications, in a low-skilled job working 35 hours per week earning £23k, whilst newly qualified teachers, nurses and lawyers can be on £30k - £35k. After tax, National Insurance, pension contributions and student loans are taken into account, there's not a huge difference in take-home pay.

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 02:33

That’s $66K and a very good salary in most places in US. With housing provided it would be phenomenal.

It’s pointless to compare the cost of living between US and UK, too. It’s not enough to just do a currency translation.

I have friends who have lived in both places and said they earned much more in US (and had employer provided healthcare) but their standard living was infinitely higher in UK.

VeronicaDean · Yesterday 01:31

pinck · 22/10/2026 20:44

Lol, $27 an hour isn't even a particularly good wage for housecleaning, let alone the exceptionally generous rate you seem to think it is. My parents had a cleaner come weekly over 20 years ago and because my mom was an absolute neat freak, they were only at our house for about 2–3 hours and yet they paid $100 per visit, which worked out to roughly $35–$50 an hour, OVER TWO DECADES AGO. We pay our cleaner more than that now, so I'm really not sure why you think $27 an hour in 2026 is some incredible act of generosity.

OP doesn't pay $27 per hour, they pay £27 per hour 🙄

Assuming a 35 hour week, and paid for 52 weeks of the year, that's an annual salary of almost £50k which is more than most teachers and nurses receive. Heck, plenty of solicitors earn less than that, too.

In the UK it's a decent salary especially for what is, ultimately, not a profession.

The package is actually pretty generous because the housekeeper has accommodation provided and bills included, too, so her salary is basically just "fun money".

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 01:52

Thank you for coming back to share that update.

FiveShelties · Yesterday 01:37

@NoMusicPlease your husband sounds like a lovely man, taking care of the housekeeper so well. Just lovely.

NoMusicPlease · 24/10/2026 18:42

She's had a bit more pain and swelling today, bless her, and the antibiotics are knocking her out a bit. Hubby is going to take her some more soup and some protein shakes as well as more painkillers. We're getting some awful winds with this storm too so I've asked him to ask her if she'd rather sleep in our guest room tonight so she's not on her own. It's a bit creepy with the wind hitting the trees and hedges.

OP posts:
Nettie1964 · 24/10/2026 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/10/2026 12:57

cupfinalchaos · 24/10/2026 12:24

I assumed you meant she was playing it in your house! You are being ridiculous I assume this is a wind up?

Surely it’s your post that’s the wind up at this point.

cupfinalchaos · 24/10/2026 12:24

I assumed you meant she was playing it in your house! You are being ridiculous I assume this is a wind up?

Calliopespa · 24/10/2026 12:24

NoMusicPlease · 23/10/2026 19:19

I think I was very much in the pain/over stimulated phase when I posted. I also wasn't planning to disclose as much information as I did.

I felt the same OP. I wish I had known the full background from the beginning of the thread.

Saturdaysfairies · 24/10/2026 12:20

Never happened.

OneSparklyGoat · 24/10/2026 12:16

Mackerelfillets · 24/10/2026 12:14

I have read the F*cking thread. This is my opinion. I think she was unreasonable. I have read her unfortunate position poor love. She's said she's gonna apologise.

Clearly you haven’t. This is all done and dusted.

T1Dmama · 24/10/2026 12:16

NoMusicPlease · 24/10/2026 00:03

Thank God for that.

I'm genuinely not sure how else to say it, but £27 per hour plus free (and very nice) accommodation is a very generous package.

You keep saying it's not but you're not willing to say what you think she should be getting paid. You also can't see that it's twice the national minimum wage though it probably works out more than that because she has no bills to pay.

We're also going to set up some private health/dental insurance for her because she's bloody brilliant and deserves to have access to quality care.

And if she wanted to leave, she'd still be welcome to live in the cottage.

It’s a crazy good deal.
I wish I was on that much with free accommodation, sick pay and a pension thrown in!
I work my arse off for just over half that hourly rate, with no other stuff thrown in, no holiday or sick pay… and I live in the south of England where everything costs much more

OneSparklyGoat · 24/10/2026 12:15

Longleggedgiraffe · 24/10/2026 12:12

Good. But honestly, why on earth didn't you say this at the beginning then? All the answers here would have had a totally different context and tone.

By the time you came along it was all out there. Why not read the OPs posts before answering?

Mackerelfillets · 24/10/2026 12:14

QuestionableMouse · 24/10/2026 01:55

Rtft 🙄🙄

I have read the F*cking thread. This is my opinion. I think she was unreasonable. I have read her unfortunate position poor love. She's said she's gonna apologise.

Longleggedgiraffe · 24/10/2026 12:12

Ilikesundays · 24/10/2026 10:32

Good,

Good. But honestly, why on earth didn't you say this at the beginning then? All the answers here would have had a totally different context and tone.

Longleggedgiraffe · 24/10/2026 12:10

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Two minutes? If she was gathering her things then you must have known the music would be stopping very shortly. Is this really worth upsetting your housekeeper for? Why not just ask her to turn it down a bit?

Ilikesundays · 24/10/2026 10:32

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 17:02

I'm not troll hunting or posting this as a reverse.

I'm also not posh.

I have very severe migraines and had surgery on my ears recently that's left me extremely sensitive to noise. Not all noise, but certain pitches are agony.

I think I might have been a bitch to her and she didn't deserve it. I'll apologize and explain why I snapped at her.

Good,

Wildefish · 24/10/2026 09:12

Is this a joke? Unless she was sitting outside your home blasting music surely you can put up with a few seconds.

LLM21 · 24/10/2026 08:19

BeatrizBoniface · 23/10/2026 20:02

You're definitely underpaid!

Its the industry, I knew that when I started the job but I get job satisfaction so I guess im kind of ok with it 😅

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