Poking holes in condoms!

Thank GOD you changed your name! I may have worked out who this woman is!! 😂😂😂

Thissssssss

She's obviously in the wrong here, and I would have trouble continuing the friendship with this huge burden of a secret she has given you to carry.

I would understand her motivation if this was their first pregnancy and he had been stringing her along for years on the promise of eventually having a child, though it would still be wrong under those circumstances. But having three children already, including one with special needs, and knowing that this will create extra hardship for the family in terms of moving and financial stress, I have zero sympathy for her.

Also the 'strung along woman' has a choice! No one is 'strung along' against their will. It's totally up to them to leave.

Perhaps, but in the heat of the moment, are you going to notice? And maybe she opened up the packet?

What 😂 you don't remove the condom from its packet!

I agree that calling this “rape” isn't helpful, and that its definition should remain as penetration with a penis without consent.

That doesn’t mean that deceiving someone about contraception isn’t an appalling thing to do, and I think it should be illegal… It’s just not rape.

And yes to PPs above, 'accidental' pregnancies are almost always questionably 'accidental'.

How can anyone actually be ‘strung along’ anyway? They just clearly didn’t want a baby with you, and that’s fine. If you were happy to stick your head in the sand and hope they’d miraculously change their mind, that’s your issue. People should have more pride and find someone who actually wants a baby with them. It’s not a god-given right after a certain amount of time passes

Your friend is disgusting! It sounds like her DH had very good reason not to want more children and she's stealthed him (which should be illegal in this country) she's thrown the security of her entire family into turmoil because of her own selfishness. There is absolutley no good reason for her to have done this considering she has 3 children already and her housing situation would mean they're overcrowded! I would 100% drop her as a friend and tell her why. I'm not sure if I could keep it from my husband (or even her husband) either.

I can't believe the meh responses! I agree condoms aren't 100% effective but she purposefully sabotaged his contraception!? There's a massive difference between using contraception and accepting the small failure risk compared to having that contraception rendered useless without your knowledge!

It was more a response to the idea that you remove them from the foil packet and somehow put it back in or doing the 'pricking' as some kind of prelude to the 'other pricking' than a scientific analysis of the ins and outs. I still maintain that 1 or 2 pin pricks would be pretty much undetectable and that a man in the moment probably wouldn't notice. I may test the theory.....not the actual 'can this get me pregnant' that shop has well and truely shut, just whether it can be noticed.

Do forgive me for not having thought it through.. I feel better for not finding that the apparently obvious answer though, unlike some.. clearly.. 🤔

That's so devious and she has sexually assaulted him. This is a form of reproductive coercion. What a truly awful, selfish woman.

I didn’t create the statistics. Somewhere in there 2% of users are having genuine accidents, and a further 13-15% are not using condoms correctly if they’re still getting pregnant. I didn’t say anything that negates that genuine failures happen. So get off your high horse telling me off.

You poke the holes THROUGH the packet while the condom is still in there. Hardly rocket science 😂

@condomgate
That was a rotten thing to do
But it's done
Just hoping that her DHs shock
Will eventually turn to joy 🙄
I understand why you feel the way you do
This to me shows the selfish i-want mentality of someone not caring about you or outcomes as long as she gets what she wants in a given situation, I think
I'd keep my distance too.

How many other people has she confided in?
I'd be inclined to tell her husband anonymously.

This is absolutely appalling behaviour. It’s a terrible thing to do to trick someone into having a child whether you’re a man or a woman.

If she already has three small children and one with a disability it will put significant pressure on the whole family. What an irresponsible woman she is. I would consider this grounds for divorce it’s a horrible betrayal.

Hopefully for him she'll have a miscarriage.

I just don’t think it’s worth engaging with this person….

(to clarify I am talking about the person you are responding to!)

I agree it is pretty shoddy behaviour, however I would add both parties should be able to trust their partner and what she did breached that trust. It’s unfair to put the onus solely on the man.

Ah, the "women can never be in the wrong" brigade.

Jesus what a bitch she is.

It's a terrible thing to do and will have a big impact on the rest of his life. Even if he divorces her and refuses to share childcare, he is likely to suffer emotionally for this (as will the child). And how much is it likely to cost him financially, even if he only pays the minimum? Could easily be around £100,000 over the life of the child. I'd seriously consider telling him if I were you. And I'd definitely end the friendship.

The fact that a small number of men do it to women doesn't mean that it's fine to do it to this man. Just like it's not okay to burgle people's houses just because some criminals do.

That's completely out of order and a betrayal of trust in their relationship. He has a right to be part of their decisions as a couple which have huge financial implications even without taking into account how many other children they have (I saw you say they have 3 under 7).