DS has been uninvited from a sleepover and I don’t know what to tell him

There will be other examples of times and situations when it used to be appropriate for boys and girls to mix but which have now changed. The obvious one which comes to mind is that at one point he and his classmates will have changed for PE all in one classroom, but this will have been separate for some time now.

It is a logical progression from the other conversations that you are having with him about puberty.

No, because it’s utter nonsense.

This just suggests you have very poor judgement. You are the adult. Would your 10 year old girl understand the potential risks? Would your 10 year old girl be able to explain that she felt strange about it because her body is changing and how complicated and grown up that feeling is and yet she’s still a child? You’re meant to protect your children. I’m sure your kids are “cool” with lots of things that as an adult you won’t be.

What if the girls are lesbians and the boy is gay?
Nobody thought if that?

This. I understand how you feel op but my DD is exactly the same age, close to 11, and she and all her friends are now developing, one has started her period, all are at a really self conscious stage. I’d feel uncomfortable at them being around a boy when they are getting changed etc too.

Equally this is very sad for your son. I get that you are not looking forward to telling him, but I think it’s really important you are straightforward with him. He probably isn’t experiencing much of puberty yet, but his female friends are. It’s a great opportunity to educate him and bring him up to be a man who understands that the female experience is different to his own.

Then surely you simplify it and explain it if you don't think he will understand.
Or just tell him that being in year 6 things change and what some people are happy with is different to others. Compare it to PE and say that boys and girls get changed in different rooms as not everyone would feel comfortable changing in the same place. It's the same for the sleepover. While the birthday girl might feel comfortable with a boy being there overnight, not all girls will feel the same. (You could then go into details if you wanted as mentioned her about developing, periods etc).

As another post says, if he can't understand this then I think you need to have more of a chat with him about puberty.

Is there maybe bigger issues here if he can’t understand this at nearly 11. Are you sure that’s rhe case, or is it maybe your assumption and you baby him?

at 11 you can say one of fne mums is uncomfortable with a boy being there, so it’s been made girl only, all tne girls are really upset you can’t come but Jane will organise something else with you,

if this is really he doesn’t understand why girls and boys can’t sleep together and the biological differences and how this is an issue, I think maybe enlist the school for some support with him,

Er. No. Mine is the opposite of that.

That’s your underlying assumption.

Birthday girl hasn't said she'd prefer the girl there more, though?

That’s a shame and unnecessary for age 11.

Bit you need to tell him the truth.

It’s tricky this age. I think at age 10 I would have been ok with it if I know the girls and the parents who were supervising. But perhaps after this one I think we’d agree to stop.

the best way around these problems is to invite other boys and insist the boys sleep on one room and girls in another and they are supervised so they go to sleep when told. that way everyone is happy and no one excluded.

This is your job as a parent to explain and manage. yes he’ll be upset but he’ll be upset about lots of things in his life, same as me, you and everyone else on the planet. Upsetting things happen. You can’t shield your child from them all but you can give him strategies to cope.

Just tell him that when children start to grow up boys and girls have separate sleepovers and it’s a sign that they’re becoming big boys and girls. Say that birthday girl’s mum forgot this but now she’s remembered so DS can’t go to sleepover. To make up for it, you’re going to taken him on a treat that night and birthday girl will come over one day for a special tea. Sell it as a rite of passage.

Has the girl’s mum expected that though? Surely party girl’s mum could have uninvited that girl and the boy could have come. It sounds more like the party mum has understandably had a change of heart, after the other mum raised it

Could you host your own sleepover soon minus Ava?

Well, no, they're well into puberty at 13. Girls and boys WILL be sexually attracted to each other by then. At 10? No.

It's really unfortunate that no-one thought of this sooner and that you are now in a situation where your son has been uninvited but the principle is sound and I don't really know why posters are being contrary about it. A mixed sex sleepover is not appropriate in year 6 or older.

Though to be fair, by girls you may mean what other people refer to as boys, so who knows.

Same. And age 10. Honestly, mental.