Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to struggle with having to hide my genuine opinions about colleagues at work?

199 replies

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 11:56

I'm autistic and one thing I find particularly difficult about working life is the tension between being my authentic self and having to maintain positive relationships with people I genuinely dislike or have very little in common with.
I understand that nobody is going to like everyone they work with, but I find the expectation to be consistently friendly, diplomatic and tactful quite exhausting.
For example, I work with a woman who is the same rank as me. She's very particular about cleanliness and regularly comments on how messy my desk is, which I find irritating because she's not my manager. She also enjoys talking about expensive designer handbags, whereas I'm not interested in fashion or luxury goods and find those conversations rather materialistic.
We have very different personalities, interests and values, and I wouldn't choose to spend time with her outside work.
My main difficulty isn't simply that I dislike her. It's that I feel unable to express my genuine opinions without suffering social or professional consequences.
I know I can't just tell someone to get lost or say that I find them irritating without damaging the working relationship. But constantly filtering my thoughts and pretending to be interested feels dishonest and exhausting.
I sometimes wonder why we place so much importance on politeness when people may secretly dislike one another anyway. Wouldn't it be easier if people could just acknowledge that they don't particularly like each other and maintain a purely professional relationship?
I'm not suggesting people should be deliberately cruel, but I struggle to understand where the line is between reasonable social courtesy and pretending to be someone you're not.
My questions are:

  1. How do you work alongside people you genuinely dislike without feeling you're constantly pretending?
  2. Is it acceptable to be polite but emotionally distant, rather than friendly?
  3. How do you set boundaries with colleagues who irritate you without creating conflict?
  4. How do other autistic people cope with the expectation to filter their genuine opinions at work?
  5. How do you distinguish between being authentic and being unnecessarily blunt?
AIBU to find this aspect of working life so frustrating? And what practical strategies would you recommend?
OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 20:20

disturbia · Today 20:18

Just wondering if the other office person has a valid point and is not just complaining to be mean

who cares? its annoying af either way cos its not in her remit. shes not my boss. if my boss complained id listen

OP posts:
disturbia · Today 20:18

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 18:19

How is this relevant

Just wondering if the other office person has a valid point and is not just complaining to be mean

lottiegarbanzo · Today 20:01

VoltaireMittyDream · Today 19:56

It’s financially not possible to leave. We have autistic DC who may never live independently. My career has been torpedoed by SEN caregiving, and caregiving for elderly parents. The usual.

Oh, handhold. This is hard. I hope you have your own friends and social outlets.

VoltaireMittyDream · Today 19:56

TeethAreImportant · Today 19:39

This sounds exhausting. What do you get out of the relationship?

It’s financially not possible to leave. We have autistic DC who may never live independently. My career has been torpedoed by SEN caregiving, and caregiving for elderly parents. The usual.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · Today 19:41

Because if your desk is mess, It's fair she's not happy

TeethAreImportant · Today 19:39

VoltaireMittyDream · Today 15:31

He doesn’t really consider what other people might think about him, as he is doing things right and this should be obvious to everyone. Anyone who doesn’t see this is objectively wrong, misunderstanding the facts, or being a nasty horrible bully for no reason.

He doesn’t understand that ‘rude’ is in the eye of the beholder - that if someone’s feelings are hurt by his behaviour, it won’t make anything better to argue with them vigorously until they understand they are objectively wrong.

He feels genuinely traumatised to this day by the fact that his teachers at secondary school said his behavior was ‘rude’. To his mind, he said please and thank you, and ate with a knife and fork, and that’s the sum total of what it means not to be rude.

It’s tricky because he really does mean well. He doesn’t wish anyone harm, never behaves out of malice, and can’t abide cruelty. In many ways he is scrupulously moral - because morals are clear rules. He is very invested in fairness where it can be objectively measured, but has no sense of emotional fairness, reciprocity, consideration.

He’s described it as though there’s a chapter in his manual of human emotion that’s written in invisible ink - it’s there somewhere, structurally, but it’s blank. Inaccessible in himself and incomprehensible when he encounters it in others.

He would much prefer if other people were robots programmed to anticipate his needs and meet them automatically; in standby mode most of the time, but instantly responsive should he require something.

He is also in standby most of the time. He is not able to take initiative. If someone needs him to do something, they need to tell him exactly what it is, justify why it needs doing at all, justify why it needs doing now, justify why it should be him doing it and not someone else, give him a very detailed, step-by-step breakdown of exactly how to do it, when to do it, and how to prioritise it within his current schedule and workload.

He needs advance notice and many, many, many reminders. He needs to be told every time that the thing needs doing - he can’t just take responsibility for it and fit it into a routine.

And if he doesn’t agree with any aspect of the way he’s been asked to do the thing or the timescale on which he’s been asked to do it, he will argue relentlessly as though his life depended on it, rather than just cracking on.

He finds social events draining, exhausting, and painful. The idea that other people enjoy one another’s company doesn’t seem to him like it could possibly be true - it’s just another example of how other people are disingenuous hypocrites who inexplicably endure objectively tortuous things.

I used to wonder why he was so keen to get married. I realised too late that he imagined marriage would be like having a carer or assistant or indentured servant, whose role was to be endlessly facilitative and understanding. Not much sense that this person might need or want anything from him. And if they did, they’d have to spell it out in granular detail, and it he wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t convenient to him.

This sounds exhausting. What do you get out of the relationship?

YksiKaksiKolme · Today 19:31

user946372 · Today 19:17

Genuine question: have you thought about moving to the Netherlands?

Why?

LoopyLooooo · Today 19:21

ClaredeBear · Today 19:17

This a great way to deal with it - tell her you like your desk so it makes you feel sad when she does this. I have to say, these sound like fairly normal workplace issues to me and after 30 odd years in the workplace, I think I deal with them okay now, but it can still get the better of me.

Please don’t say “it makes me feel sad” if you want to sound like a fully grown adult.

user946372 · Today 19:17

Genuine question: have you thought about moving to the Netherlands?

ClaredeBear · Today 19:17

nomas · Today 12:11

The way to manage this is to tell her her comments are upsetting you and making you sad (e.g.. when she comment on your desk).

This way it puts the onus on her to manage her behaviour.

This a great way to deal with it - tell her you like your desk so it makes you feel sad when she does this. I have to say, these sound like fairly normal workplace issues to me and after 30 odd years in the workplace, I think I deal with them okay now, but it can still get the better of me.

brownbootsandhats · Today 18:54

Well it is a stupid turn of phrase

PumpkinLightup · Today 18:53

What employers mean when they say bring your authentic self to work is to be open about your sexuality , preferred gender, if you have piercing or tattoos, unconventional hair colours and cuts , culture and religion etc They don’t mean that people come in and say whatever is on their minds !

Barrydoughnut · Today 18:36

Since Covid we have been able to choose where to sit at work. I sit as far away from everyone as possible and have one AirPod in at all times under my hair. I recommend Times Radio.

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · Today 18:34

Agapornis · Today 17:28

"sorry I need to get on with work" is quite a good way to stop annoying conversations.

Find the other autistic people at work so you can have a moan about the people/things that annoy you together. Very few autistic people can be their authentic self at work, unfortunately. But it's a nice thing to bond over.

This is not an issue unique to autistic people. You are not special or different in this regard.

GnomeDePlume · Today 18:32

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 18:19

How is this relevant

If your desk is just messy because that is how you work then it is okay to just ignore her or reply that this is how you work.

If your desk is littered with stale food and dirty coffee mugs then you need to clear these away. That is just an unwritten rule of working in an office.

Nobody wants anyone's 'authentic self' at work. Even if managers say they do they really dont.

BriarTime · Today 18:26

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 18:19

How is this relevant

I suspect because the answer will reveal whether that person is reasonable to raise it with you.

brownbootsandhats · Today 18:22

Stale food and unwashed cutlery isn’t messy - it’s dirty and people would be right to object to dirt

a leap to assume it’s dirty rather than untidy

being polite doesn’t extend to having to have a chat with them.

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 18:19

disturbia · Today 18:18

How messy is your desk? Is it just a few files and books covering the whole surface OR 3 day old coffee mugs, stale food,unwashed cutlery, crumbs everywhere??

How is this relevant

OP posts:
disturbia · Today 18:18

TheIntricaciesOfHarpUpkeepAndMaintenance · Today 18:13

Would being told to get lost affect you? As you’re extremely sensitive to criticism of your desk, I’m going to assume you’d react poorly to criticism of your person.

How messy is your desk? Is it just a few files and books covering the whole surface OR 3 day old coffee mugs, stale food,unwashed cutlery, crumbs everywhere??

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · Today 18:17

I've always taken the view that part of what I'm being paid for is to be polite and pleasant to colleagues and that doing so is to my benefit because to not do so would make work a very unpleasant place to be.

Fortunately I like my colleagues so it's only the usual problem of finding being with people absolutely exhausting even if I do like them. And remembering not to infodump or shower them in too many random facts.

VoltaireMittyDream · Today 18:16

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 16:35

i already know this, im asking u how i can suppress my feelings to avoid this

Anxiety meds help my autistic DH in terms of emotional regulation, impulse control, and not ruminating obsessively on how irritated he feels all the time

TheIntricaciesOfHarpUpkeepAndMaintenance · Today 18:13

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 16:32

so me telling her to get lost would not affect her then

Would being told to get lost affect you? As you’re extremely sensitive to criticism of your desk, I’m going to assume you’d react poorly to criticism of your person.

BogRollBOGOF · Today 18:10

muggart · Today 17:23

For your first question, perhaps a mindset shift would help: Treating an annoying person civilly and being polite isn’t pretending. It’s just being a decent person.

Imagine if someone started being snippy with you and when asked why they were being unkind they said “well i don’t like her so why should I be nice”. Youd think that was unfair, right? We all come across people who get on our nerves but generally we still treat them well. Not because we’re pretending, but because it would be awfully entitled to think our feelings are a justification to act rudely to a person and ruin their day (or worse, affect their self esteem).

So please go ahead and put in boundaries- she sounds like a PITA. But don’t think of it as pretending or being inauthentic when you make polite conversation because it’s just you taking steps to ensure your presence doesn’t upset someone, which Im sure authentically reflects your values.

I end up on the receiving end of teenagers having un-filtered rants at work. Some are ND, disregulated or traumatised, some are just rude whether they are ND or NT. There are a few names that make my heart sink because whatever the underlying reason or difficulty is, they will be incredibly unco-operative and unpleasant about whatever needs doing, and that's unpleasant for anyone else in the path of what they want.

I have to remain professional and as calm as is earthly possible, even if I have PMT, ill or am simply having a lousy day. I can not afford to let my filter slip because I am an adult being paid to be professional and responsible. It takes deep breaths, and lots of neutral statements. I get to go home and have a break from them; these interactions too shall pass.

There are some that it took a while to build a positive relationship with, but I got there through professionalism. Some I'm a bit hit and miss with depending on their mood and capacity. I could not have built that without a social filter.

I love my job and do it because I have the social skills for it, but I can vouch that working with people who let negative opinions flow unfiltered is draining and unpleasant for everyone else, and doesn't look like a pleasant life for them.

I know I've had an emotionally depleting day when I come home and promptly nap to recover and then face peopling with my own autistic teenagers who are often in the throes of venting and re-regulating after their day of masking at school...

brownbootsandhats · Today 18:07

You can’t suppress your feelings you just have to avoid getting into the situation as much as possible

LoopyLooooo · Today 18:05

YourWaryPlumBalonz · Today 16:35

i already know this, im asking u how i can suppress my feelings to avoid this

In the same way you suppress your replies on Mumsnet.