Surprise 3rd baby but only 2 bed house

That sounds really difficult... How close do your parents live and how big is their house?

I feel sorry for your eldest. They will feel the pressure to mpve out early whether you say you want them to stay or not.

I felt ai had to move out at 18 and it was really hard. My younger siblings got an easier deal of it.

Have a single above the double for your partner and you co sleep? Or double above single if u have head height. I stayed in a house in Berlin that did this and it was truely awesome and gave a little bit of separate space so would be workable medium term so your older two can keep their rooms. Then have sofa bed in living room for when oldest comes home and move baby 3 into divided room when oldest moves out in 5-7 years

Have your parents had an assessment by Adult Social Care? Do they get Attendance Allowance?

It isn’t just your house that doesn’t have capacity, it’s your life and finances. How are you going to manage after maternity leave for childcare costs and caring for your parents, a baby / toddler / pre-schooler and work?

The situation is causing you to have to fight crying all the time.

You took active steps not to have a baby. Personally my choice would then be to not have a baby, rather than be a hostage to fortune.

Agree. Sounds selfish to bring a child into a situation that will make life harder for everyone currently here.

💯

At the ages your kids are it would be an absolute immediate no to start all over again. Also you have a ton on your plate. I would prioritise my current situation.

@Blackandyellow65 is spot on.

Well, I'm sure families of five have been known to live in their car or campervan or a motel room. Your family has a roof over their head and you'll get by. Several good ideas have been posted here.

Also, we don't know what the future holds. The oldest child might move out sooner than you think, the elderly parents could pass away, a new job opportunity could come along. You don't have to figure out the whole next decade right now. As they say, one day at a time. :)

Potentially controversial opinion, but the needs of your existing children should come first. How is an additional child (because lets face it, the baby part is the easy bit when they're small and immobile) going to impact their quality of life? Not just in terms of already tight space, but time, attention, money etc.

You may end up with a complicated pregnancy or a high needs infant. You need to find an alternative care plan for your parents even if you think you can continue in the role.

Lofting your bed might be an option, but personally I wouldn’t want to make the climb. I think for the short term I would put a day bed in the living room and one of you sleeps there and the other is on the room with the baby.

Have a conversation with your housing association about buyback and converting to social rent. Not many of them are doing this yet but some are starting to due to the depths of the housing crisis. Ask their advice too. What would they suggest you do.

Alternatively you may have to bring the baby in with you, hope your eldest leaves not long after 18 (hard in the south east these days) . don’t forget if the new baby is a girl then you will need a separate space for her anyway so I imagine if you stay put you will need to sleep in the living room yourself as parents (i know a lot of families in private rent and TA who need to do this)

Or you sell your place and go back into rent where you can claim Uc and get on the social housing waiting list

i generally feel the same as you about abortion - pro choice but couldn’t do it myself - but I do think you need to think hard about the impact on the quality of life of your two existing children this will have. It could be significant.

Your family is at maximum capacity due limited money, space and time. You don’t have any reserve to draw on in any direction.

While abortion may not be your preference it’s the most sensible option at this point.

None of this sounds fair on the children you already have

What would have to happen to get consent from the HA to expand?

Since when is three children “a large family”?

Can you get a caravan in front garden or a garden room for 18 year old to stay in

Could your parents afford it?

Moving to a bigger place is the only sensible option with kids of these ages. I’d prioritise that over anything else, including caring for parents, if you’re set on continuing the pregnancy.

Home can also be a 16 year old struggling to revise with a colicky baby they can’t get away from and a mum is run into the ground trying to care for 3 children and two elderly vulnerable adults
Love ain’t paying the bills

You either prioritise your kids or you prioritise your parents. You can’t look after 5 people and work part time as well.

This. Supporting 5 people is a tall order with a new-born

I can't see sleeping in the lounge being viable when your eldest starts going out in the evenings and coming home late. And presumably you don't have much living space to begin with downstairs.

Is your parents' house bigger? Could you swap?

Alternatively put bunk beds in current youngest's room. Your DH can then sleep in there, much better to have a proper mattress than a sofa bed. Then you in with baby and DH with current youngest until either eldest moves out or you can move two kids into one room.

Possible solution: Sleep in the living room at night.

I've seen people online doing similar in small spaces in expensive cities.

Get a fold out sofa bed or mount a drop down bed to the living room wall. A friend did this who lived in a bedsit.

This really

You don’t have enough space for 3 kids. Bad enough really with 2 given your eldest might be at home til he’s 25 but imagine you have a girl, do you really think a 10 year old girl should share sleeping space with 18 and 25 year old brothers?