Help! DH having general anaesthetic. Friend dreamt he died!

So what is the procedure then as it’s very unusual to get unnecessary operations tbh. And a blood test won’t show anything for surgery but they will definitely check his BP on the day. Surprised no pre op assessment tbh as they’re still done in my nhs area.

Last year my DH had an op in Glasgow for thyroid cancer. In the run up to the op my dreams got more and more vivid that he would die culminating in the grand finale dream the night before the op where my DS and I were walking down Buchanan St and I got the call at the corner of Buchanan and St Vincent st.

The dream was so vivid and real that I refused to walk to that corner even though my DS was going shopping. I made him do a detour round the block to avoid being at that spot.

DH was fine and my dreams were just dreams no matter how real they seemed at the time.

So if this is a “watch and wait” scenario but he has been advised or booked surgery that means if this thing frowns or develops it will be very bad for him and a real risk to his life- as otherwise they’d not be doing an operation and spending all that NHS money right?
Currently your DH has presumably passed his pre op assessment well which means they are satisfied he is well enough to undergo a GA- which will have a highly trained and skilled anaesthetist there whose sole job is to keep your husband breathing and alive throughout the procedure. I have watched these doctors during operations where a patient has become poorly and they really are on the ball and very good at what they do. They tweak the medication to adjust the symptom the patient is having and are very alert to even the slightest change that could indicate an issue.
Okay so now think if DH delays and 3 years down the line a scan indicates that now he NEEDS this operation. Or he will be very unwell and possibly die. So there is no choice now. But since three years have passed unfortunately your husband has now developed some health issues that make him a poor candidate for surgery. He now faces a higher risk of complications but needs the surgery and you face this fear again but worse and well-founded.

Putting off the fear now could lead to a worse and more credible fear in the future. This level of fear is not normal and the person before who suggested therapy wasn’t being cruel but sensible. Yes everyone has some fear when facing surgery (though personally a GA is an amazing sleep and I love the woozy feeling after!) but this level of fear is not normal @username2345678901 .

The friend is an idiot for telling his dream. Regardless of whether he knew about the op or not, who does that?!!
op dreams are not an prediction of life

The therapy isn’t for this particular instance, it’s to retrain your brain not to process information in the way it currently does

Hahahahahahaaaa

Because this is not normal, do you have a habit for this?

Because it turns abstract numbers into a familiar image.

Why did they suggest you need therapy? Because this should be unsettling at best. Dreams aren’t prophesies. This shouldn’t freak you out. And the stats you quote show this procedure to be very safe. You sound like you’re prone to extreme anxiety and catastrophising.

Friend was a little dickish in bringing it up - however im assuming your DP knows you and knows you struggle with anxiety so we he was being very unreasonable in bringing it up knowing it would trigger you

Why? It's a huge number of people in a huge space. And just one random person, not the single bloke that shares her sofa, as it's impossible to personally know 100k people.

Explaining it like that, in terms of people in a space that you can visualise like a stadium or airport, makes the risk seem greater, not smaller! It sounds less scary in the abstract.

OP, your friend dreamed your DH had died. This is not a prediction. It will be based on your friend's subconscious making some connection or other that's probably very obscure, and serving it up as a dream.

People remember occasional dreams that have an echo in real life precisely because they are rare and coincidental. Think of the thousands of dreams a person has in their life that are completely meaningless in terms of predictions.

However, if you are determined to believe it's a premonition, bluntly, there's not much you can do about it. Cancelling or postponing an operation doesn't eliminate the possibility of death. If you look at films with this sort of premise, it usually goes along the lines of the person thinks they're going to die so they avoid a planned risky activity only to die in some other freak accident.

Unless the friend is prone to prophesying it's just crap timing that's made you spiral. Would you have worried if you'd learned about it after the op?

When I came round from GA a couple of years ago I heard the nurses in recovery discussing which local firm of undertakers was best. I was worried for a minute but I'm still here

The Famous "Documented" Cases
While not scientifically proven, there are well-documented historical archives where researchers tracked dream claims. The most rigorous attempt to study this was The Premonitions Bureau, established in 1967 by British psychiatrist Dr. John Barker. Following the 1966 Aberfan landslide disaster in Wales—where a coal waste tip collapsed and buried a school—Barker collected reports from across the country. src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/UDX5oDxd5C0" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen> 1, 2]
He discovered that several people had reported highly specific, chilling dreams of the disaster before it happened. For example:
The Aberfan Disaster: A young victim named Eryl Mai Jones reportedly told her mother the day before the disaster that she had dreamed of a "black mass" coming over her school.
Robert F. Kennedy's Assassination: A music teacher named Kathleen Middleton submitted multiple written and phoned-in warnings to the Premonitions Bureau in the months and days leading up to June 1968, urgently dreaming about Senator Kennedy's impending assassination. He was shot on June 5, 1968.
The Titanic Sinking: In 1912, multiple individuals claimed to have mailed letters or told family members about consecutive nightmares involving a massive passenger ship floating upside down in the sea just days before the Titanic sank. 1, 2, 3]

https://www.buzzfeed.com/asiawmclain/17-people-share-the-premonitions-they-had-that-came-true

I think you need therapy if I’m honest

General anaesthetic risk is tiny. You’re probably more likely to have a fatal car crash driving to the hospital. And if there’s any chance your husband might have something that isn’t benign, the risk associated with that is also likely to be far higher.

I’ve had four general anaesthetics in the last year and don’t even recall being consented for risk of death from the anaesthetic.

Scientifically speaking, dreams are a form of mental processing. Fears, big decisions, sometimes fantasies, anything that is very present in our conscious or subconscious mind, good or bad, often makes its way into dreams in some way.

So all this means is that it is on the mind your dh's friend, probably a very clumsy way of caring about him. It's only a reflection of what is going on in his friend's mind, nothing more than that.