Would you help in these circumstances

Yes, but I am guessing your friend didn’t put capital etc at risk to help you?

Unless they did something like make you a bridging loan so you could buy before you had sold, for example

So in an example, your friend saved you £10,000 a few years back. She’s asking for a lend of £6000.
You’re quibbling about it, mostly because you’ve read too much mean minded mumsnetters over the years.
Your husband is about to buy a car for £40,000.
Yes, of course you should lend your pal this money. Isn’t that the whole point of friendship? Helping each other out?

There is a big difference though, since the help they gave you didn't cost them or at least didn't cost them much. Now they're trying to cash in on it, hmm. Something about this just doesn't sit well with me, personally.

At the same time, I can see why you'd feel somewhat obligated. It seems a bit complicated, with several factors to consider. And just you asking her shows you're not completely comfortable with this request.

So, I think I'd opt for something between a flat out "no" and lending them the large-ish amount requested. I'd say you don't have that much money at your disposal right now but that you'd be happy to GIVE them a smaller amount (after you decide what that should be).

That's nice and neat, with no risk to the friendship and hopefully more in your comfort zone. Then you can consider the favor repaid.

Did they let you live rent free for a period of time?

It's so hard to judge this. It sounds as though you feel morally obliged to provide this money which is not a nice position to be put in.

They did you a favour which did not actually cost them money.
Now they are asking you for hard cash as a loan when they could formally arrange a loan. You are hoping they pay this money back.
It's already affecting your relationship with them otherwise you would not having made this post on here.

If you didn’t have much when you thanked them, but can afford it now, would you have given them that much as thanks? Do they know you’ve got the money, and why are they asking - have you come into money and they’re asking for some of it? It depends how much for me: hundreds maybe, thousands no.

Have they said why they can't borrow from a bank or credit card?

Who asks a friend for a loan to buy something thats just a nice to have item. Can't they just get a zero credit card to buy it?

That changes everything. I think you’re morally obliged to lend her the money as she saved you way more money

Nothing ends a friendship faster than a loan.

The great favor she did you should not be calculated in monetary terms. I am sure if you are ever in a position to return the favor, you'd it in a heartbeat. But lending money is not returning the favor. Is it for some kind of plastic surgery?

DH is about to spend several times what friend is asking for a something that isn’t immediately necessary, just a nice to have that will pay off longer term.

But he’s paying for that from money you or him have earned (family money). Your friend wants some of that money as a loan for THEIR nice to have thing / hobby / activity. It’s completely different.

Its coming across to me now that this is almost the same as them asking you for payment for the favour that didn't cost them anything,
because they know it saved you money and how much.

and its a considerable sum for something that's not essential (like stopping them from losing their home) but just nice to have.

They said they would do an agreement and pay interest - why not just go to a bank? or credit card?

There's just something a bit off about this.

I am always suspicious about people who ask friends for loans because it suggests that they dont have a usable line of credit. If they have spent up to their lending limits or have bad credit so they can't get a loan, why would paying a friend back be more of a priority if they have unpaid debts to companies in the past?

It would be a no for me.

In many ways it's very difficult to offer an opinion as you don't say what the amount is, what it is for and what they are suggesting as repayment terms - how long etc.

But the crux of the matter is if they are professionals (as they must be from what you have posted) they could arrange a suitable loan but have chosen to ask you instead for the money. Why is this?

Which leads me to believe we aren’t talking about a substantial amount here

There's a big difference between half or two thirds.

It's all relative. Anyway the amount hasn't been mentioned so you have no way of knowing if they are rich.

It's tricky. I'm guessing they gave you their professional advice whether it be legal or accountancy which meant you did not have to pay your own fees.
You then mention this went on for a period of time so perhaps for your own business when you were starting up.

This cost them their time only but no actual monies.

Now everything is getting confused because they are asking for hard cash which puts a different spin on it all.

But if their professional advice was offered for free - why was that?
If their professional advice saved you thousands they are in a decent profession.
Why are they not getting a normal loan for whatever it is they need now?

It seems very transactional and that they are asking for payback time from you.
There is always a problem mixing financials with friendships as you are discovering.

(ps I run my own business and mixing the two is never a good idea.)

Also. Why do you have to lend the entire amount requested?

You've sacrificed other things to make those savings and been careful to stay debt free.
It's not luck but judgement.

DId you say things to the friend like.. Thank you so much ... you've saved me £XX.. and then she's suddenly asking for a loan?

It sort of sounds like you want to lend it to her because you can't think of a good enough reason not to, because you feel a bit beholden or guilty? And she would find out that DH wants to buy something indulgent (Its your joint money.. why can't he and why would you feel guilty?)

Is she asking for a loan for something worthwhile? That she really needs? Are you sure she can't just get a loan? Would it be impossible for her to get an interest free credit card?

If you do go ahead. Make sure you get a proper, signed loan agreement which details a timescale for repayment. But personally I really wouldn't do it. Do something else nice for her instead.. like she did for you, something that doesn't cost you anything but is a real favour and then perhaps you will feel that you have repaid the debt, but without feeling squeezed.

Was it along the lines of qualified legal advice?

I've probably missed it upthread - I've had to skim read a bit - but why are they not just borrowing from a bank? Whatever the other circumstances, if that route is closed to them, then there's usually a reason for it, none of which tend to bode well for lending/borrowing money.