to say no to sisters request for no alcohol over Xmas?

Ridiculous. If he can’t cope with alcohol anywhere then does he ever go out, to pubs, restaurants, to socialise? If so he’ll be coming across alcohol consumption all the time.

it would be a no from me. One person’s addiction does not and should not affect an entire family’s perfectly normal Christmas plans.

The "no meat on the premises" woman...how does she cope in real life? At work, shops, cinemas , theatres, public spaces etc

Just don't negotiate with terrorists.

Just say no.

Most I will provide a vegan choice of main, and. Might do a few roasties etc in veg oil.... but she's more than welcome to fuck off somewhere else for the day.

Lol, one less person to feed then.... At least.

More roasties for everyone 😂

Id be concerned anyway if they plan to have children one day.

Id say ‘partner’ is a strong word there too!

If this request was via her coming from him I’d be concerned about my sister dating him.

Even if the idea is coming from her it smacks of codependency!

They aren't married so no, not family. Not having that argument.

but also no. And i wouldn't offer no alcohol for Christmas dinner either. She knows the set up. They are welcome. But you wont be telling adults they cannot drink for a weekend because she says so. This is her life choice, nobody elses.

Surely the whole point is that the partner has to learn to deal with situations where alcohol is present? What else is she expecting you to do- get rid of all the booze in the house? Get all the pubs in the area to lock down?

If he wants to drink he will- if he’s still got a problem you’ll all be on the shloer and he’ll be necking whisky in loo!

Where do these people get off? You can't hold others to ransom like this.

Family? She didn't even know him at Easter. She can jog on.

We take such care with our Christmas Dinner to make it as good as it can be.

I would hate to swap out lovely carefully chosen wine that complements the food for water or sweet soft drinks.

Or miss out on a gorgeous port with cheeses.

Your DSis cannot hold at least 7 other adults to ransoms like this.

Instead of telling her no way, can you ask her if he’s told her he will only attend if the celebrations are alcohol free? I’d be tempted to say no and laugh, but that won’t help you her. And if he is controlling or alienating her, it will make things worse.

Just say no I’m sorry not going to happen but I’m happy to provide an area that is alcohol free with plenty of juices, schloer, fizzy drinks etc. Found out yesterday Husbands Cousin has requested for his partner Christmas day is Vegan no meat at all to be on the premises before she’ll even consider coming 🙄 The’ve been together 9 months.

If they make it to Christmas it’ll be impressive. Stand your ground, but do it nicely if you love your sister and she isn’t Norma a self entitled brat. Explain you have comoeteting priorities here and have to balance things.

I’d tell her no way!

Good luck in telling the family.

No way would I agree to that. No one would come.

On one hand she's unreasonable to impose an alcohol ban but on the other, she's part of your family and her partner is a recovering alcoholic. In your situation, I'd have an alcohol free Christmas - you can have mocktails and great drinks and help your sister and her partner in his recovering process having a great family together.

However I'm saying this when as a family we don't drink much even in Christmas. My adult kids and their partners rarely drink - may have a beer/wine but prefer water/ fresh juices. Same with us. I'd prefer to have my sister and partner enjoying the festivities, than alowing alcohol to create a difficult family situation at this time of the year.

So when they go out for a meal at a restaurant, your sister phones ahead and the restaurant happily stops serving alcohol, does it? No, of course not!

Just carry on with your normal Xmas routine, including alcohol at Xmas lunch, and make sure you have a good choice of alcohol-free drinks for him.

If its only been since May, I'd essentially uninvite him....

...I'd tell her you won't stop the alcohol and he's welcome to not attend and maybe he just see his family those days..

He isn’t family. He’s a boyfriend of seven months.
Regardless she is massively unreasonable.
Drinking is part of your family celebrations, he can take it or leave it.

I have a former alcoholic in my immediate family. It has never once been suggested that everyone else stops drinking.

I would suspect this too.

I think this is a good point!

I’m not a big drinker but I like a few glasses of fizz and a Baileys on Christmas Day, I would not be accommodating someone’s partner of a few months at the expense of my own personal choices and enjoyment of a special day. He needs to know how to be around alcohol and manage this. I’ll go out and not drink some times, there’s loads of lovely non-alcoholic options. The packaging of non-alcoholic options is such that it looks no different from alcoholic drinks. Could he get some nice mixers/cordials/non-alcoholic options so he doesn’t feel left out?