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Original poster

Ultimate Betrayal

517 replies

Mufasa1992 · 16/10/2026 21:43

Been bugging me for a while so here we go.

My wife had her graduation this summer, was so proud of her and all the work she put in. I paid for her gown and graduation photos (solo photo and 1 family photo).

because she’s picked an early morning slot - with travel and the kids it was going to be tight us all making it. So we agreed if me and kids missed pre ceremony photos (wife was driving with parents and siblings) we’d take family photos after the ceremony. To get there on time me and kids needed to set off at 08:00 and with kids being very young the intention was never for us to go into ceremony with it being 90 mins. They’d disrupt the whole thing.

well you guess it we didn’t make it out until after 9, then with driving around for ages looking for parking we just arrived at the end of the ceremony in time to take family photos after.

this was a disaster kids were hungry and in tears in all the photos not looking forward the lot.

fast forward to a few days later and we get to see the photos to choose which ones to order. And the wife has taken beautiful happy photos with her parents and siblings prior to me and kids arriving.

I feel totally betrayed

me and kids were only there for 15 mins despite us being stuck in the car for 2.5 hrs to take photos.

we’ve obviously argued and part of me feels guilty for putting a stain on her big day but the other half thinks why would you take photos without us knowing you that only one family photo could be chosen to purchase.

think it hurts more that’s without us shes got a lovely family photos and with me and the kids she’s got a very messed up unhappy photos.

YABU - she never intended to buy photos without us knowing you and kids and was just indulging herself.

YANBU- yeah she stabbed you in the heart, back and everywhere else. She shouldn’t have taken the photo even if the intention was never to buy.

OP posts:
xmaswiththeinlaws · Today 09:16

The only graduation photos I got were taken in our family dining room. My parents hired the gown and took pictures at home. Nobody else was in them. I completed my course late and was told I would get invited to graduation the following year but it never happened and by then I was working abroad.
What is am trying to say is at least she went to graduation. If you have bought the gown, take some more pictures with your kids, on a nice day, perhaps in a park or outside the venue. It's not too late, you cantake as many as you like and it won't cost a fortune.

Original poster
Mufasa1992 · Today 09:06

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · Today 00:53

I genuinely don’t understand how you ducked it up so badly. if the kids were never going to the ceremony and it was from 10-11.30 then surely you didn’t need to be there until 11.30 so even taking the drive in to consideration you had plenty of time to get the kids ready.

Which I did for the second sitting of photos

OP posts:
Buffs · Today 08:48

When managing children plan to leave an hour earlier than you need to, know where you intend to park and take snacks.

SinglebutSorted · Today 08:21

Have you ever thought that her parents are ultimately very proud of their daughter and would want some nice photos as well?

yes ok, you have paid for them and that is very kind but it is also not your graduation. It’s your wife’s. You could’ve made that day about her instead you bought her nothing but problems.

ElizaJ74 · Today 08:08

InfoSecInTheCity · 16/10/2026 21:52

your wife worked really hard to earn her degree. Your one job on the day was to get yourself and the kids there on time to take a photo. This means probably getting the kids up a bit earlier than normal and hitting the road in plenty of time. Taking snacks or stopping along the way if this means you can’t have breakfast at home. You cocked up this simple and reasonable ask and showed up late with hungry tired angry kids, now you’re throwing a strop because she took some nice pictures with her parents. You sound like a useless twat.

100% this! Completely nailed it.
The day wasn't about you. Congratulations on making her big day miserable!

SummerAsh · Today 06:29

And why not just take your own photos too… I only have one “official” photo of me at my graduation…. It’s just me and it’s displayed out of the way on my parents landing wall… I think we took some others, and if they are, they’re buried in some photo album somewhere. I don’t get why these photos are so, so important. I worry about how you’ll react when something that’s actually important doesn’t go your way.

SummerAsh · Today 06:24

OP. You are being utterly ridiculous - I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an absurd overreaction from an adult!

So what, you didn’t have an official family photo at her graduation - so what! What does it matter? If this is the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL, what language would be appropriate if she actually betrayed you, such as cheating on you?

Chickadee001 · Today 06:10

Take all the pics to a photographer to photo shop a picture of you all together!

Candyfloss1985 · Today 03:43

99bottlesofkombucha · Yesterday 23:32

You managed travelling with one child? Congratulations! Have you tried it with 4? Just wondering.

Show quote history

No because at 41 and being told I couldn’t have children the one I managed is a bloody miracle. Smart arse.

Booboobagins · Today 02:53

how sad you didn't get pics on yoyr phones too. but I agree, whole family pics would habe been better.

the thing i can't understand is why did she pick an early ceremony when you have young kids.

I think this is just start of your troubles tbh. I'm so sorry.

ComedyGuns · Today 02:50

Your poor wife.

You are being completely unreasonable.

Brokentoes85 · Today 02:39

What are you on about? It's her graduation and you couldn't get your arse out the door to be there on time, she had a few pics taken with her family and you think that's a betrayal?

Get a bloody grip on reality.

DeeLasVegas · Today 02:31

Grow up 🤦🏻‍♀️

JoBrandsCleaner · Today 02:25

This reply has been deleted

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DreamTheMoors · Today 01:30

I guessed it?
That’s not what I guessed or expected or thought or surmised.
I think you’re a big baby and things didn’t go exactly like you expected them to and you’re having a tizzy.

Nursegladys2 · Today 01:26

Mate, you had one job. To get there on time. You messed it up. But yeah, you go ahead, and make it all about YOUR feelings, on your wife's big day.

twocrumpets · Today 01:17

You were late. It’s your fault. Are you resentful of her achievement or something? It’s usually the way.

Daisywithastory · Today 01:14

I’m so sorry for the grief you have got about the timing. Getting four young children out the door for a special occasion is no small task. I only have twins and it was always so tough. I think the birthday party was a worse betrayal than the graduation though ❤️

Fiddlesticks357 · Today 01:06

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Redpaisley · Today 00:59

MerryAquaKoala · Yesterday 19:39

What has he graduated in OP?

Eta.. Brave to study for a degree with 1,2,3 then 4 kids under 5

Edited

Because op was doing the sole parenting.

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · Today 00:53

I genuinely don’t understand how you ducked it up so badly. if the kids were never going to the ceremony and it was from 10-11.30 then surely you didn’t need to be there until 11.30 so even taking the drive in to consideration you had plenty of time to get the kids ready.

Bunny65 · Today 00:51

You are not just being unreasonable, you are being ridiculous.

Redpaisley · Today 00:51

Dameputtingonabraveface · 16/10/2026 23:32

There are so many red flags is your post, I hope your wife now has the capacity and headspace to rethink her relationship. You had one job for one day, your wife has completed a degree whilst being a parent fo 4 young children. There is nothing in your post that suggests you have been supportive or shared responsibility, the fact you are making such a big deal about having to get the children up, feed them and get them to one place, for one day and are making excuses is really telling. Paying for photos does not mean you are entitled to anything, it is just what a loving partner would do. You have made this all about you and you are blaming your wife for you not getting your shite together. Of course finding parking takes time, particularly on graduation days- basic adulting. You sound vile and controlling OP, and I say this as someone who works with this kind of shite day-in/out, not angry vitriol

Op is a woman and other spouse is a man. There’s a backstory of op supporting him and never being considered.

Dinosaurhearmeroar · Today 00:39

I’m obsessed with your chosen title for
this. Ross Kemp is that you?

Thatladdo · Today 00:32

Dramatic much?

Grow up and take it on the chin, the photos were clearly terrible - no ones fault its just how it went with grumpy kids also to say its an Ultimate Betrayal is completely ridiculous -Its the wifes big day, not yours, you arent the main character. But you are the main Drama Llama :o)