DH's books in our small flat

Oh, such a good point. Like you, I would struggle to identify many of the books I have read on my Kindle (or have had on loan from the Library, on my iPad)
For example I unearthed (to my eyes, at least) at rich seam of Golden Age detective fiction by British authors I never knew about, and many of whose novels have burned a presence in my head, such is their quality.

But here and now I can barely think of an author name, let alone a book title. Had I the paperbacks, a relationship would be fortified using other senses in addition to sight. IYSWIM.

I’ve thousands of books, and familiarity with their covers is essential when it comes to winkling one out not touched in twenty years, even though I do of course shelve them by genre or purpose. But once a cover is clocked, it stays as an image in my bonce, and so I recall whereabouts a particular puce spine should be!

Reading on a Kindle omits many peripheral aspects of reading, really, and honestly (forgive the crudity; I’m shattered with insomnia today) my mind keeps suggesting, as an analogy for the ‘screen read’ experience, a quick anonymous shag at a party perhaps, compared with a night of rich indulgence and sin with a beloved paramour!

We donated a ton of books to Amnesty. We still have plenty. We kept what one of us may reread. But I can’t see the point of getting ever more book space for books we are unlikely to reread. Nobody loves every single book. If we get it wrong we’ll look for another copy.

On the issue of hoarding old books, I used to be like many of the other posters, with a collection of hundreds if not 1000s of books built up over several decades, through a love of reading and a couple of degrees, plus a partner who is the same. I was also a "I can't use a Kindle, I love the physical feel of a book" type.

At some point, however, I started to find all the books staring out at me on the shelves oppressive, especially the very many I'd bought but hadn't read yet and wasn't sure when I ever would read them, especially the ones that I had to admit to myself I wasn't interested in anymore.

Then there was some forced culling due to a move, the rediscovery of yet more books I'd forgotten about in the loft, my partner not knowing where half her books are (perhaps in her grandparents' basement?). I realised that I would seriously need to rethink my attitude to book hoarding when I asked in a charity shop if they would take some of my old books and they said maybe a few but they have too many. I did manage to sell quite a few online through World of Books.

Some years ago I finally got a Kindle and absolutely love it. My partner also has a Kobo, which she can borrow library books on. My policy now is, unless they are a real favourite, to get rid of physical books I'm never going to read ever again. I'm trying to get through the physical books I haven't yet read, even if it's just skim reading them or giving up halfway through. I rarely buy physical books anymore other than coffee table books, guidebooks or cookbooks.

Is it possible to compromise somewhere in the middle, OP? A room full of books that you can't have much else in it isn't that practical or enjoyable. On the other hand, a room full of toys that everything else has to be removed isn't that practical or enjoyable either.

Would you really need to replace every physical book you own? Are you going to read them all again?

You can remove the books from your Kindle and they will remain in your libary on the cloud.

Growing up our living room was full of my dad's books (my mum doesn't really read much) and I don't remember my toys ever being stored in there. I grew up with a love of reading, and now my own living room is full of my own books. I think books are beautiful objects and I would never want to live in a home without lots of books on display.

That said, it's reasonable that your DH compromise at least a little bit. Putting the vast majority of his books into storage seems too extreme, but you could look into other ways to have them in the house without them all being where they are now. I have deep double stacked bookcases (I made a rudimentary platform thing for each shelf, so each shelf has a raised back row of books, and then a front row on the shelf itself).

I'd be spectacularly unimpressed that he's not even willing to try packing some away temporarily under the bed and seeing what a difference it makes, if any. They're all still right there if he needs one! He can make an inventory list so he knows exactly what he has and doesn't forget about or lose anything. As for wanting your son to be around books, it sounds like there will still be plenty, and they can be rotated periodically; he's not going to lose IQ points because his dad only has 200 random books in the living room instead of 500. This problem is only as semi-manageable as it is because you've already made a big sacrifice with your books; your husband can handle a tiny little bit of inconvenience too for the sake of his child and the household.

What's in the cupboards @wiredandtired ? Isn't there enough space in the three sets of cupboards for the toys?

You implied that you kept them all. Now you are saying that you do cull some of them every now and then and read on kindle too. That is all OP is asking her DH to do.

Not every single book obviously but I’m 59 now and my book collection includes my favourite childhood books so that’s pretty much 50 years worth of books. Culled along the way on a reasonably regular basis but then supplemented by new ones. I read masses including on my kindle so not quite sure how you came to that conclusion- probably over 100 books per year but it’s always been my go to relaxation/ hobby. It’s weird though that some people get very hot under the collar about it.

@Scarcityvarcity - well for a start some of DH’s friends have explicitly said so and when we moved Estate Agent suggested we put them in storage (we didn’t). Also there is no big deal - I’m on a thread about keeping versus ditching books so that what’s being discussed. You seem very chippy for some reason. I’m very anti clutter and have built in bookshelves in my house so they are part of my decor. Luckily DH is on side and we have enough space so not an issue,

Now that IS weird.

I think people other than your ex have reasons other than his for wanting to keep their books.

Let us keep our books for the love of God!!

You shouldn't if you reread them obviously. I think a lot of people just keep them on the shelves forever and never do though. That was certainly the case with my ex. In fact he didn't read most of them even once.

Why would I get rid of books I want to reread?

Well no but if you only buy new books via kindle and gradually get rid of very old ones the number reduces.

We had a ‘book problem’ too OP. We downsized our house after the DC left home and our main living areas are smaller now. We had hundreds and hundreds of books. We culled what we could before we moved but still had about two thirds left. They lived mostly in the loft until we found a solution.

We employed a carpenter to build cupboards and bookshelves across a whole wall of our lounge. The bottom section is a run of cupboards and they hold a surprising amount (would work well for your son’s toys) and above that, going all the way to the ceiling are bookshelves. We’ve managed to get an enormous amount of books on them and the whole thing looks really good. Everyone comments on it when they see it for the first time. In addition to that we had an area of dead space under a sloping roof in our bedroom so we got them to build in another run of bookshelves under that. We now only have one free standing bookcase in another room as the fitted bookcases have housed all the rest. It wasn’t a cheap option but I’m really glad we went for it. And DH was not a happy chap at the thought of losing any more of his books so everyone is happy again!

It's interesting isnt it?
I think its just the recall everytime I see the book and am prompted to think about it. I never see the e book again once read. And even if I recall the story I often can't connect it to the name of the book or the author, so then it's harder to revisit that book etc.

I wish I had all my books as physical book rather than e 😭.

I also do really enjoy when people ask for a recommendation or borrow and I can go over to my books and look through them to find one.

I definitely wouldn't react well to being told I have to get rid of them to make way for toys.

Kids, for example.

Your toddler will very soon be pulling the books off the shelves and there will be books everywhere all over the floor. Speaking from experience.

Ah, I just made a similar observation on that score. I too find the printed word sticks so much better when read from paper, than from a screen.
I wonder does this depend on the type of memory one has?
If it’s vaguely photographic, you recall the page itself as well as the info it bears, so you remember where it was that you read that Madame X was born in Granada, yet here, 309 pages on, there is a reference to her having been born in Grenoble. You swiftly flick back to the page whose place and layout you roughly recognise, and confirm your recollection (or indeed find it was Grimsby, after all that!)

I am well paid, but I can't afford to replace all the books I already own with a kindle version. And my first kindle has run out of memory space.

Children involve compromise.
so -

• earn more money for a larger home with more storage
• or use the storage unit you pay for
• reduce number of books
• store books double width if shelves allow this which reduces amount of shelf space by 50%, mainly for paperbacks
• store under the bed
• reduce numher of books

I don't think people care about how many books complete strangers have. This thread is about whether people should have to put up with the person they live with hoarding books and refusing to take the to a charity shop so that there is not much room for anything else. I sympathise with OP because my ex was like this.

Hand on heart, and speaking as one who finds it difficult to hold a book open for lengthy reading now and so uses Kindle quite a bit, there really is a difference in reception/absorption between a paper page and a screen. For fiction, anyway.

At an airport and away from home, there’s no contest of course but at home, isn’t there always the Holden Caulfield-style thing of a real book at least being ‘human’?