Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

With over 20 years of FT work and no living expenses, she could have quarter of a million or more stashed away, plus all the interest she'll have accrued. It could be closer to half a million. I suspect that she could buy her siblings out of the house, she just don't want to part with the money - OP says that she was also reluctant to spend on their Mum so that would make sense

OP also said that the sister refuses to disclose what she has in savings, @BruFord, which perhaps isn't surprising if she's managed to save whatever-it-is at least partly by living for free

I wonder if she's considered that, if it comes to a legal case, she may be obliged to reveal this - at which point things may look somewhat different

Read your updates, your sister sounds like a bully. I bet she has thousands in the bank, subbed from your mums income.
I can see why your mum left the property to all three of you now.
Id go through the motions of attempting to support her find housing informally, then mediation, keeping a paper trail so youve done everything in your power to support her before going to court for an order to sell.
Sorry for your loss op.

@NovemberMorn Yes, but she'd been financially supported by her parents for decades in a way that her siblings weren't. It was a lovely thing to care for her Mum, but in purely financial terms, her Mum had "prepaid" for that care over the years by enabling her DD to keep all of her salary for herself - imagine never having to pay for your housing and never paying a household bill - I'm also in my 50's and I don't think I know anyone who's been subsidized to that extent.

I agree that the OP and her brother should give their sister more time to come to terms with the situation, but she does need to face it and not expect them to continue subsidizing her the way her parents did. Either she buys them out of the house (I think she probably has the money) or she moves.

Yes, let’s all be nice and kind and give our sisters our inheritance against the wishes of our mothers.

She sounds awful!

She's had the estate subsidising her for her entire life, why on earth should she get a larger share now?!

Being abusive shouldn't equal getting money off you.

I'd start talking about her paying rent to the other 2 of you- after all she's still benefiting out of the estate. What's 66% of the rental value?

Its split 3 ways and fairly your sis is unreasonable not you.
You have a family a life of your own bills etc just because she cared for mum doesn't mean she is more entitled.
That situation was always gping to come to an end
You need a solicitor.

You sound nice.🙄

Sorry, but why should one child get everything and 2 nothing?!

Shes already been living like a teenager rent free for years in a house, which could potentially be argued as 'fair' due to her caring.

But she needs to stop acting like a spoilt brat, grow up and sort herself out. And if the place is in a tip and impacting the value, I'd be looking to see how to oust her sooner. I don't think she has any rights to be there now.

In reply to Lsquiggles
She also said her sister really loved and cared for her mum, putting her own life on hold for the last 5 years of their mothers life. She didn't trust anyone else to do the job like she did, which when you see the conditions of some residential homes (and I have) is understandable.

The mum isn't here now, but maybe the thought of being taken out of the family home and placed in care, or even having the intrusion of carers coming into her home three times a day, filled her with dread.

The will was made before the mum needed full-time care, which the sister provided. Maybe it would have been written out differently when circumstances changed. I think if the mum was still able to communicate in the last years, the family should get together and talk over what was said...if anything.

My own mum didn't make a will, she left me 2 letters, one contradicted the other in a couple of ways. I worked out (by her writing) which letter was written last and followed that one.

But it does have a bearing on the costs decision on an order for sale - unless she vacates the executor has to apply for an order for sale, which is heard in court, and has to take into account the resident sisters circumstances.

The court can decide to hand her the house outright (unlikely) a bigger share of the estate or a lifetime right to reside, or turf her out!

But once it goes "to law" the executor will be advised as to the outcome by the court, and that can usurp or more likely delay the action of the will, possibly for the resident sisters lifetime.

There’s a way of approaching this that will preserve your relationship with your sister and a way that means she may never speak to you again. The law won’t care which is the outcome.

I think more information is required here:

None of that makes any difference to the executor's legal duty, which is to execute the will as written.

Is your sister in a relationship or has ever been in one?

What has that to do with anything?

I would suggest than unless she has a secret gambling or other addiction she would have accrued a massive amount of savings in her own name and is possibly in the position to buy you and your brother out.

I agree @BeUmberMember, she worked FT until she was made redundant in her 40's and her Mum paid for pretty much everything, including her car.

With over 20 years of FT work and no living expenses, she could have quarter of a million or more stashed away, plus all the interest she'll have accrued. It could be closer to half a million. I suspect that she could buy her siblings out of the house, she just don't want to part with the money - OP says that she was also reluctant to spend on their Mum so that would make sense.

That's life though, few people are housed/have bill paid for free all their lives, her siblings haven't been.

The problem is that this particular woman is using her agency and autonomy to prevent the OP acting as executor and carrying her mother’s wishes.

Instead of being obstructive and refusing to communicate with her siblings she could be working with them to facilitate the sale of the house which was left to them all and make plans for her own future housing needs, ie, start looking at one bed flats which would seem to be affordable from the sale of the house.

I think more information is required here:

• When was the will written?
• When did your father die and did your sister care for him also?
• Did your mother have full capacity before she died?
• Did you ever discuss the house with your mother?
• Would she have left the house to your sister/her carer if she had been well enough to change the will?
• Does your sister have SEN or any physical or mental illness?
• Is your sister in a relationship or has ever been in one?

It wouldn’t be 5 years worth though as didn’t need full time care for 5 years

Then think about rent/mortgage/bills the sister would have paid in her own property for 30 years

Having just read the full background history of your sister's life living with your mum forever, working, receiving redundancy money and not having to pay for any bills, house renovations, food etc plus holding on to your mothers jewellery and effects, I would suggest than unless she has a secret gambling or other addiction she would have accrued a massive amount of savings in her own name and is possibly in the position to buy you and your bother out. Think about it, 35 years of almost free living, working, getting redundancy money, interest on savings etc she could have been saving £1000 per month. Just a thought, and perhaps why your sister won't reveal her savings amount, although she has no need to. Hope you can work things out amicably between you all.

We had a sibling who moved back in with our parent, paying peppercorn rent, being cared for and bills paid by elderly parent. They did give some minimal care towards the end. Our sibling is clearly autistic (of an age where this was never recognised before) very clever, but had never lived alone. They still held down a a full-time professional job. They saved a 6 figure sum over the decades (not paying bills or appropriate rent) but refused to move out.
Our parent realised the sibling would never voluntarily move so was advised to write a fixed timescale into their will before the house had to be sold. It still took a huge effort to get them out, there was lots of anger and blame from them. We just had to remember it was because they were scared. Unfortunately lots of family stuff like documents and all the photos went ‘missing’ at this time.
It will be hard but selling is the right thing to do.
Good luck.

I think you are underestimating the cost of 5 years of care. The rates for private care live in care at present is around 900 to 1300 pounds a week depending on the region. Hourly will be 20 to 25 an hour. An agency or care homes will cost more. At minimum you are looking at 52,000 a year. Multiply that by five years....

OP has already said it was for financial not altruistic reason.

This is the OP's spin on it, and to me it sounds like a lot of projection of her own motives. OP is also the one so desperate to sell the house and get her share of the proceeds she raised the need to do so one month after her mother died. Obviously, she's not too deep in grief or shock, but the sister - who has lived in the house her whole life and whose home it is - may be.

She has saved you a fortune and your mother was looked after without payment.

She saved herself that fortune too though, and OP has already said it was for financial not altruistic reason. She’s barely spent a penny of her own money or DM’s money on her housing and care, has redundancy savings she hasn’t touched, and now expects a bigger share of the house?!

Um, maintenance is really, really, important. It’s needed to make sure the house remains safe, secure, and habitable. Not just that, but if, at some point in the future, the owners want to sell, a home that’s reasonably well maintained is more likely to hold its value.

The executor has legal obligation to preserve the property

Any essential works have to be paid by someone and when the estate is finalised the total amount will have been reduced

Executor also has to finalise the utility bills... again from the estate. Is she to let that run until sister decides to speak to her, let the usual process get underway?

Bereavement is fucking awful. But the legalities still have to be attended to.

I understand that but the OP has also suggested that she feels her sister caring for her mother wasn't necessarily completely altruistic and she agreed to care for her to be able to still live in the house

Is maintenance so important?! Why does it bother her so much, the person living their can spend to make it habitable for themselves and if not, it doesn't matter, just ensure there is building cover.. Nothing else to do