To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

I do completely agree but FWIW I’ve had an awful time potty training my DC. They hit every other milestone but we transitioned out of nappies the month they turned 2. By age 3+ were still having daily accidents although were now in underwear. We’re under a paediatrician, have visited the GP and have worked extensively with the Health Visitor. All say it’s nothing to worry about and that my child will just hopefully one day get it, like other children do at a much younger age. The GP even suggested we put DC back in nappies age 3 and a half! No one has had any practical advice and they all recommend against forcing use of the potty or toilet as it can make things worse (suspect some of the issues may be down to anxiety but unsure). They all say it’s also very common. My point of this long rambling post is that it really isn’t just that easy for all children to grasp, even NT children, and even when you try to access help and support, the professionals don’t really have any answers for you.

Obviously not trying at all is different but please be aware that there are parents like myself who desperately don’t want to be washing multiple pairs of dirty pants every day. We would love our children to be like everyone else and not be the one having daily accidents in school. I hate it for everyone involved (my child, the teachers, myself). I worry my child will be bullied but nothing I have done works for them sadly.

I think it is overblown to be honest.

Sounds like they've switched to Eric's guidance. That's good news.

When I was at primary school in 1965, there was a 'Happy Smile' campaign where our parents were asked to sign a card to say that we'd brushed our teeth twice a day for a month.

The reward was a 'Happy Smile' badge.

There is luck sometimes. My daughter refused to sit on a potty for months. Some do it straight away. Definitely some luck involved!

Utterly disgusting levels of 'parenting'.

Seeing some posts make me think it was a miracle I managed to potty train my son when I was 19. Looking back I was naive and had no clue and was just winging it. No judgement whatsoever if additional needs or medical problems but I felt it was more hassle changing nappies, dealing with the mess when they pulled them off, out in public and it seemed to be cracked within a week. We did it in the summer when he was 2 and started when he started removing his nappy all the time but I’m sure I was told this was a sign by health visitors and at sure start centres we attended so perhaps it’s an education issue? It is a hassle at the time having to be so observant but we did do it in a summer and he was naked at the bottom in that time

I know. Though according to some posters it never happened. 🙄

Part of the issue is that due to waiting lists, timelines and guidance it’s incredibly hard to have a child officially diagnosed with a medical condition (linked to incontinence) or SEN by the age of 4/5.

About time! That's great news. My son is 3 years on from training now, but they definitely had that advice still last year when the same thread about untrained reception children came out.

Hopefully everyone getting better guidance now will mean children trained earlier and more easily.

Though anecdotally there were no children in nappies in my son's reception class last year or any overweight children. So I do wonder if a lot of this stuff is blown out of proportion.

Hope you have signed the petition to stop the SEND reforms then? School currently don't have the funding because the local authority are refusing to assess him for an EHCP which we are appealing.

My DD is 8, had a significant speech delay/ disorder when she was little (2 years intensive SALT).
She was potty trained for poos by 1, and wees by 2 in the day time. Took a bit longer to get her out of nappies at night, but once we worked out a strategy of lifting her and putting on the toilet at our bedtime she came out of nappies althogether at 2.5 I think (we still had to put her on the toilet at 11pm until she was around 5 though).

So I get particularly annoyed when people try and say that you can't potty train until they have the 'language'!!

My DD started playgroup at just turned 2, along with another kid also just 2, both were out of nappies when they started. Both were cloth nappied though.

That may be the case but it still stands that teachers and TA’s in mainstream schools should not be expected to toilet train or change nappies. That quite frankly should not be their job. If a child is SEN and cannot toilet train, then it’s likely they will require a specialist school where the TA’s are trained and equipped to deal with children in nappies. That there isn’t enough places for SEN kids in specialist schools is the issue and one which should be fixed by the government. Not sending out advice to parents of neurotypical children re potty training. Those parents should be quite capable of seeking the help and advice they need. There’s plenty online. Unfortunately not all people give a shit, no pun intended and will wait until they deem their child is 'ready'. Oh and I happen to have a SEN child. There is no luck in potty training. It took work, perseverance and consistency.

Yes but saying it is disgraceful that TAs are changing nappies of five year olds doesn't exactly make me or others feel great. You can shove "excepting SEN" in your sentence but saying it like that doesn't make me feel any better. Makes me feel guilty actually.

Cheers for that. It isn't through choice that my non verbal autistic boy has started mainstream school this year in nappies and needs changing.

This isn’t ok - teaching staff changing nappies all day - inclusion policies should include money to pay for extra staff to cover this not expect teachers to do it!

Seems crazy parents are leaving it so late. I thought my DD was late as she was by far the oldest at 3yrs 1 month to start training. Boys were around 2.5. Nephew who is 4.5 is not fully toilet trained but does have some medication which affects his poo, so for some reason he is only using the toilet for wees and they put a nappy on him when he needs a poo. I don’t know all the details but school has said they will change him.

How many actually do this? Very rarely imo.

Oh fgs the whole thread has been pretty clear its talking about NT 4 and 5yos. As in actually repeatedly mentioning "unless there's a disability preventing it" or similar.

That was the whole reason the rules were changed so children with disabilities who were not potty trained were not excluded. And thats a good thing. It is NOT an excuse for parents of non-disabled children to just not bother. THAT is the issue at hand.

These foods might make the behaviour worse but they do not cause SEN like ADHD and Autism.

They did this at the Nursey DD went to which is in a very middle class area with mostly professional graduate parents.
It formed a really nice part of the routine of the day along with snack time, where they all sat around the table and did a teeth cleaning song and the playgroup leader demonstrated on an oversized model of teeth with an oversized toothbrush.
I could only see the positives in it.

The playgroup also incorporated my DD speech and language excercises that she had been set into the sessions for all the kids to do together.

There clearly is a societal problem with NT kids not hitting milestones appropriately, but including the fundamentals of personal hygiene into a session for 2-4 year olds is not the problem.

DGS will be 3 on Boxing Day, he’s been out of nappies since last October. He’s dry at night, too.

When my kids were little they had to be trained otherwise they couldn’t start preschool at 2.5. It was rare that children weren’t. Nowadays if someone mentions they’re considering potty training at 2 everyone says it’s too young, but most of the time it’s ideal imo.

I used to be a teacher (of older kids and adults thankfully). Can't imagine how anyone wants to go into teaching primary age, knowing you'll be wiping arses and teaching kids to brush teeth and use cutlery. It's disgraceful that some parents abandon responsibility for these most basic of human skills.

I said 'contributes to' those conditions, not the sole cause - obviously.
And it's not about liking chocolate. It's about giving a kid frazzles or hairdos and fizzy drinks for every breakfast as the whole meal.

Everything just gets worse and worse. There's no shame or embarrassment sadly.

My child is autistic because of genetics and not because he likes chocolate.