To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

Tbh my two sons (5 and 2) have always been offered fruit as snacks and I home cook healthy meals daily.

My eldest has always been a great eater. Loves spinach, broccoli, cabbage, all fruits.

Youngest will blank refuse to eat them and dry gags at the sight. Both parented exactly the same.

My son just could not get the potty training thing done. He went to nursery at 3 1/2 with a reading age of 7, could dress himself, eat nicely with cutlery, had a wide vocabulary and good behaviour. I told nursery that we

Welcome to MN, where they allow the most brutal judgementalistic posts but will block you for pointing plain daily truth

You don't need a diagnosis to be on the nursery/school SEN register. For a parent to be on the (ridiculously long) waiting list, there are going to be signs that the child needs an assessment. There will still be an NHS record of GP visits, referrals and whatever else. The school will take that into account.

We didn't get a diagnosis until dd was in Y1. She was on the school SEN register from nursery and had all the interventions going. They didn't try to force her to talk or tell me I was lazy because she was very obviously autistic. She wasn't potty trained in nursery, but was by reception. Even without talking. (Lots of accidents though. And not at night till 8).

If there is no suspected SEN upon starting school, then it is very unlikely that it would be a barrier to potty training. SEN needs that present later, tend to be more social, communication and interaction needs or processing needs. Not impossible...but very unlikely.

How many want the support though? The ones that want it, will look for it. Social media, google, AI, books, NHs website. It’s all there, willingness to try harder isn’t always.

Apples are still apples
Bananas are still bananas
Potatoes are still potatoes
Rice is still rice.

Daily decisions to give ultra processed food, are still decisions.
Regular treats are not treats, they’re replacements for nutritious food.

People choose every day what to feed their children. Laziness, packets of stuff win too often…. Sure it’s easier!

We should be investing in bringing back health visitors so parents have somewhere to connect to for support. Expecting parents to "just Google it"and assigning schools to pick up the pieces is no way to raise the next generation.

If it’s isn’t hard work, why did it take so long for your neurotypical child to grasp it? Was it down to them or you?
You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder because other parents have potty trained their neurotypical children.

It's frustrating because all through pregnancy and with health visitors in the early weeks it's drummed into you to only trust NHS guidance and not anything else you read on the Internet. Then we mock parents who followed that guidance in good faith.

I'm glad I didn't stick the the NHS guidance but I wouldn't judge people who did.

I absolutely agree with you - the situation is already failing and will only get worse. Mainstream school is not the place for children who need nappies, non verbal, violent etc . The system should be that some children would start school in specialist provision and then transfer to MS if that becomes appropriate not the other way round! There’s a child in my son’s Reception class that the LA have agreed needs specialist provision but that it will take several years possibly to find a place. In the meantime the classroom has to be evacuated several times a week to ensure staff and children are safe. Why are we accepting this as parents? No one benefits!

Has your child never refused to go in their car seat or pram? Because DD1 did “potty sitting” as advised by ERIC and then one day, after over a year of this, had an almighty tantrum and refused flat out to sit on the potty. Nothing had changed in my eyes, but something freaked her out. Short of physically manhandling her into sitting on it, I didn’t see what I could do.

We potty trained at about 2yr 10 months. DD1 was very linguistically capable, but never seemed bothered about dirty nappies so it was really tricky because I had newborn, EBF DD2 and DH working away. I kept asking health visitors for advice and all I was told was “she’s still young, no need for concern yet.” It was really frustrating.

I’ve worked in EYFS/KS1 and seen all sorts. Including toilet trained Y1 children sent in on school trip days wearing pull ups because the families always used them for long car journeys.

Of course there is some luck involved. Some get it in a couple of days. Hardly sounds like hard work.

There has always been feckless parents. It’s scandalous but it’s always existed.

I’m more appalled that there are publicly funded government campaigns telling men not to rape and sexually harass women. That should be pretty fucking obvious, no?

Nope all that would happen is that the doctors would receive more requests for medical exemptions.

I cant believe that one person on this thread said they were struggling with potty training and might have to resort to bribery...but even bribery is now OTT...no more having a single chocolate button for sitting on the potty, two for a wee and three for a poo...nope, now parents seem to have to go to the shops and buy a toy if their child has farted in the right direction

I suppose it could be worse in some areas? Though my child's school has a very mixed intake of lots of demographics so if there weren't kids on nappies in his class it can't really be as big an issue as they say.

Tooth extractions and rising obesity is because food ingredients have changed.

Toilet training is anyones guess.

Just because your child refused to sit on a potty for months, doesn’t make others lucky because their child sat on a potty. Our potty was in the room for months prior to starting. By which point my little wasn’t anxious about it. That’s not luck, that’s desensitisation and it being natural that the potty was there when it came time to give it a go.
If you feel that’s lucky, then that’s your prerogative. I appreciate people’s hard work and dedication in getting their kids toilet trained.

Hopefully like my daughter they will eventually get it. Took until five before she would go for a poo on the toilet.

Are people saying the nhs didn't used to give the guidance to wait for signs of readiness?

My DC are all 20+ & brushed their teeth at school. I don’t see what is wrong with this? Takes maybe 10 mins out of the school day.

Have a medal 🥇

I've watched a few videos of educators who are saying children are not responding to their own name, and have to be taught to do that too.

All of the behavioural issues which have now become normalised are a direct, and unequivocal consequence of iPad parenting and the broken food chain.

You can fix all of it pretty much immediately by feeding children fresh food, as unprocessed as possible and completely removing all screens from them until they're 16.

Cue the shrieks of "We can't do that because...."

Few will bother, a lot of the parents are also screen addicts and processed food addicts, and it is honestly quite difficult to achieve being normal and raising your kids as normal, in the new abnormal when abnormal behaviours have become the norm.

They lobbied massively for it, in combination with the Kindred reports and all the attention they got.

That’s what it took though. National outrage , visibility and a huge charity to get the NHS to change advice. But apparently Jane down the road could just know it was wrong and ignore it and just do some more googling.

I agree.

I started sitting my DD on a potty at 5 months when she could just sit up. She couldn't crawl or walk away. By the time she was walking she could barely remember anything different.