To not buy her a tail, so she can be like her friend who ‘is a therian’

I’ve literally just had the same conversation with my 10 year old DD today ??!! - I’ve said Halloween, world book day, fancy dress event or playing at a friends house - go ahead. But she’s not wearing a tail in any other public time or place - she’ll be judged by peers and others at her age and I’m not ok with it.

I get self expression but I also get being bullied and I’m not going to just let my DD make herself an easy target. (And it’s just odd!)

Its a fad. As long as she isnt insisting on using a litter tray just let her get on with it.

It’s the thin end of the wedge. I know a girl who identifies as a boy (mostly, although sometimes she’s a girl and sometimes non binary). Also identifies as a range of different animals and wears tails and masks. And is gay (except when she’s not). Multiple changes of name too. And her mum just goes along with it all, and expects others to indulge her too. It’s mind boggling. I’d nip it in the bud now and bring her back to the real world.

She just wants to dress up for Halloween on my reading!

Doesn’t sound like she’s going to start claiming she is an animal or any such thing from what you say.

Her friend isn't a therian, she is just a silly girl, with daft parents if they are indulging this stupidity

I think she can be a cat for Halloween! But the tail, ears and whatever else don’t get added to her wardrobe afterwards. They are fancy dress.

"seems nice" but "wears a tail" . Shock horror!
I feel like it's back to the middle ages with the witch trials or something. Either buy your daughter a tail or don't but I don't see the need for all the moral consternation?

A lot of that sounds like just being a kid tbh

I’m not saying the Mum should validate or indulge all this being an animals stuff but the likelihood is she’ll grow out of it.

Agree. My daughter was into this around the same age. It’s just a fad that she’ll move on from. My daughter and all her friends were the same, we just let her have fun with it as make believe play and at some point they just lost interest and have heard nothing of it for years.

I mean I just wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense, end of

It’s just a fad and a minor trend. She may start reading warrior cats too at the same time.

My daughter went through this and she was also making some very beautiful cat masks.

I let her make the masks and wear the tail at home. I also took her and her friends to some secluded forest type areas where she wouldn’t be seen being a therian.

It was relatively ‘healthy’ in that’s it’s hard exercise to try walking like a cat! And the crafting was fun and she was reading a lot too.

However, I did ensure I was telling her that this is just play and that it can be fun to pretend to be a cat just as it’s fun to play with Barbies. But she isn’t a cat, as much as she isn’t a plastic doll.

I also worked on her self esteem, encouraged other activities she could see progress in and made her realise it wouldn’t be safe to wear tails or masks in public.

So make sure she knows it’s fun to explore through play but you draw the line at her safety.

It probably lasted about a year. I think it was a fun thing to play with a few of her friends. She kept it quiet from lots of her other friends.

She’s slightly embarrassed by it all and thrown all her stuff out now. So much work went into those cat masks!! Almost sad to see it go.

Also… some of those tails come with ‘additions’ that a 10yr old wont understand, so make sure you open the package first!! 😆

I am planning to reincarnate as a cat.

Embarrass the shite out of her! Say 'what a wonderful idea! I shall join in', buy yourself a tail too and take her to school, wearing a tail, that is you wearing a tail. All the way to school and especially by school gates proceed to meow and if you care flexible and can bend, arch your back every now and then, if full view of other parents. That will quickly cure her of her idiocy.

Edited to add: Explain to her that if you are a cat and she is a cat, then daddy is also a cat and enlist his help with cat-like behaviour. And put a tray in the house and make her use it.

Really? I don’t recall any children being like this when I was a child, or my own children or their friends doing this. I think it’s nice to let children play make believe and be dreamers, but this is something else (driven by chat forums etc on the internet). It’s not pretending to be something (well it is); in their heads they ARE those things. It’s fucked up, not just part of a normal childhood.

Tell her you’re allergic to cats and she’s going to have to be rehomed or put down

I know loads of young 'therians' and it's just creative play 😂
They make masks and wear tails and gallop around the park on all 4s.

The moral panic over this is so strange. No, schools are not having to install litter trays because children are identifying as cats...

My daughter was into this for a while. One of her friends had unrestricted access to tiktok and was watching all sorts of weird stuff.

I bought the tail and ears and let her wear them on the understanding that she knew it was just play and she wasn't actually a cat/fox/wolf spirit or whatever they believe. The Therian phase came to an abrupt end after some older kids clocked on to what they were doing and teased them.

Just be careful if she has access to YouTube or tiktok. I went on a bit of a deepdive into it and some of the content can be disturbing.

It's a slippery slope though, they start off reading Warrior Cats and making masks and then they... I'm not sure actually what the end of the slope is supposed to be 🤔
Think maybe it's got mixed up in the Mumsnet trans panic.

what's this about BUYING a tail? can't she just make one?

I really don't see the problem with someone dressing up as a cat for Halloween - I definitely did this, when I was younger than 10. I never actually thought I was a cat!

Making a tail is not a particularly hard, or expensive, project. Why not encourage her to do some crafting?

What additions? 🥹

There's playing. This type of play would be a young age. Not 10.
Agree with do not start on this path, no matter how minor

A relative of mine went full blown furry. Fur suit. Foreign travel to conventions. Turned out mostly fetish and grossly weird and inappropriate behaviour. Id worry about grooming for kids and teens here.