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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Confused nanny

134 replies

DublinFemale · Yesterday 20:15

I have recently become a grandmother, first grandchild. There is a step grandchild who is treated as my own also.

My dilemma is I just do not want is too much.

The baby is 10 weeks and I have seen him 4 times.

My son tells me to call up whenever, I am nanny I don’t need an invite. My son is working so it is just my DIL, with GC during day, whom I love

I am staying away as I have read enough threads about MIL invading DIL space if I call up.

AIBU to not visit as my DS is not there even though it means very limited seeing my GC?

There is no background history except the fact that DS was raised in council housing which she looks down on and is genuinely embarrassed by.

what do I do? Kept staying away.

OP posts:
Morecoffeeneedef · Yesterday 20:36

Text her. Hi, could I pop in for an hour this morning, or tomorrow? If she says yes, stay for exactly an hour, play with the baby and ask if you can help with any jobs. It should be fine.

chirrupybird · Yesterday 20:34

She may be wondering why you are not dropping in, with warning obviously, it would seem strange to me that you wouldn't come unless her DH was there.

Chunkybabythighs · Yesterday 20:30

Talk to her like an adult? She's a whole ass person not just an incubator

Smallpoxy · Yesterday 20:27

DublinFemale · Yesterday 20:22

Truthfully I have read enough threads telling DILs it is the son’s responsibility to ensure he is there.

He can’t be there during day and they go to her parents every weekend.

Show quote history

I loved my MIL to come around then I was home with the babies.

MNs isn't a 100% truth about life.

QuirkyHorse · Yesterday 20:27

Why don't you text her?
Asking if you can pop by on a certain day, maybe give her a couple of options.
That way, you're not catching on the hop and she can respond how she sees fit.
Her response should give you some indication of how she feels about you coming by.

Original poster
DublinFemale · Yesterday 20:22

QuirkyHorse · Yesterday 20:19

Why don't you ask your dil if you can pop in, rather than go through your son?

Truthfully I have read enough threads telling DILs it is the son’s responsibility to ensure he is there.

He can’t be there during day and they go to her parents every weekend.

OP posts:
QuirkyHorse · Yesterday 20:19

Why don't you ask your dil if you can pop in, rather than go through your son?

tripleginandtonic · Yesterday 20:19

Ring her beforehand to see if you can drop by?

Original poster
DublinFemale · Yesterday 20:16

Sorry it should be My dilemma is how much is too much?

OP posts:
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