Neighbours and Halloween

I made a zombie apocalypse theme decor during covid to cheer up the kids with a little Halloween party. We were allowed 6 visitors at the time so had a few friends round.

I made everything using stuff I had at home. Printed some Zombie warning signs off the Internet, made some bodies from bin bags stuffed with old clothes filled with plastic bottles and cushions for the heads etc. I filled old glass jars with water soaked with highlighter pens to glow in the dark filled with jelly eyeball sweets. Bought some yellow and black striped tape to cordon the house off. The kids loved it, and I spent very little in the end. Would something like that work OP? Your DS could help make a lot of it.

The small stuff doesn’t actually mean more. No one is looking back in 5 years at the awful time the neighbours put out their Temu decorations before we did. They’ll be talking about the awful time with bereavement and the bully of a neighbours son.

While small things might seem like more because your resilience is used up elsewhere, it is important to remember they are still the small things and don’t blow them out of proportion.

Get a firefly outdoor projector. We have one and all the kids at Halloween we’re totally wowed by it.

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Putting up decorations in September but don’t shop at Temu if you want originality.

It’s very easy to return to temu, its also free. you go into your orders click the return / Refund button, it asks why so just choose a reason from the drop down box. This takes you to t a page giving options for return and where you want the refund, original payment or credit options, then it gives a label you can either print or take qr code to the chosen shop to print, pack it up and send free.

sometimes they say heres a refund and no need to return so you can save them for next year.

there is another unethical sneaky way to get a refund without sending back by going into the customer chat, open discussion by saying unhappy with product it gives option to say what order you are. Not happy with then tell you it has a solution, the solution is often return for refund, accept partial refund and keep and last option will be other solution click that and solution will be keep and get full refund. It really is simple

Put the decorations inside and get different ones for outside

Oh gosh they sound awful. But can you just maybe be a little creative and buy a few extra things so your display looks a bit different/better?

You now have several weeks to think of how to use the same decorations in a different and creative way. Make them more fun than the neighbours. Make some sort of scene.

This is the thing with mass produced decorations. They're all a bit the same anyway. Come up with a creative idea, challenge your son to think of something unique you can do with your same decorations, and do that or do nothing.

What should you do? You put up the decorations you've already got because it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a loss and I do understand that your son has autism, but this post is, frankly a bit much to be honest.

• Firstly, someone else putting their decorations up should not have this much of a bearing on your spirits, and your general life.
• Secondly, who cares what this 9 year old girl from your son's class thinks? I'm sorry but I'm not really sure why that would matter? She's a child.

Also, as someone with an autistic sibling, having autism doesn't mean that you automatically just get to have whatever you want all the time and I feel concerned at the idea that you'd be railroaded into buying new decorations because your son "has decided" that the ones you have aren't good anymore.
I personally feel that is setting the child up to have great expectations as he grows up, and I would want to nip that in the bud as soon as possible.

If he "won't stop being upset" about this then it is down to you as his parent to make him feel better, and to assure him that the party will be awesome, no matter what decorations you may or may not have.
Also, with all due kindness and respect, Temu is just drop-shipped mass produced shit that, as you've pointed out, tons of people will buy so it's slightly odd to say that your neighbours have purchased the same decorations because they overheard you.

I mean our Christmas decs go up on the 1st November so I feel like i couldn't be mad about Halloween going up a month early.

If it’s going to make your son self conscious in front of his friends then I’d probably buy some more cheap decs for the front of the house. The others could be used for the back maybe so they are not wasted.
As much as I love Hallowe’en putting decs up in September is a bit mad.

Most people’s decorations will be the same. It’s Halloween not Christmas. Just use them and have a great party.

We did something similar in London, but what goes on now is way out of proportion to that

I’ve been doing Halloween decorations since I was a wee girl. My mum and dad were Irish and we had a carved turnip each on the step that mummy put a candle in every night the week before Halloween. And we made Brack. It’s also my birthday.

I am very sorry for your loss and im sorry your wee boy is upset.

I always put my Halloween decs out the first weekend in October.

it’s my birthday, and the anniversary if my late miscarriage in October and it cheers me up.

I just do it for me, not anyone else. I didn’t realise I was pissing off the neighbours.

I also put my Christmas decs up on the first weekend in December. 🤷🏼‍♀️

YABU. And frankly you all sound nuts. Since when did Hallowe’en decorations become a thing in this country.

YABU

I think this is coming from you & is rubbing off on your DS. Your negativity will spoil it for him.

There's not that much variety in Halloween - pumpkins, ghosts, bats, witches etc & limited colours black, white, orange, occasional purple & lime green so it's going to be hard to be 'edgy' or 'original' especially if it's all cheap tat. You will see loads more of it & prob be the last ones to decorate if you leave it to the 29th

Put the Halloween decs up & then add some birthday ones - unless your whole street has a birthday at the same time then yours will stand out!

Agree it's a bit early for Halloween decs - pumpkins will rot before trick or treating but the plastic stuff should be okay. It has become an autumn 'theme' now rather than just one day.

Its more weird to spend money & then have them up for only a couple of days?!

My sympathies with regards to the neighbours having the same decorations you wanted to use, but as far as timing goes let me put it into perspective - at my best, I started decorating at the end of August. This is not early at all as far as I'm concerned.

Can you buy a few more bits so that you have some things the neighbours don’t. Get some pumpkins nearer the time to line the path to your door. Get creative and make some things

Ignore them. Fwiw it's far too early for Halloween decorations. We are not yet even in October. Put the decorations you have up once Halloween is here and enjoy your party. 🎃

Returning the decorations would be ridiculous. Whatever you get, there will be lots of neighbours with the same. You're going to have to support your ds to cope, could you put the decorations up in a different way?

There are some cheap or free decorations you could add - make eyes in a kitchen roll tube with a glow stick for example.

Instea of panicking about having the same cheap tat as next door you could use it to teach your son that he doesn’t call the shots (autistic or not). He either has a party or he doesn’t.

Sorry I think YANBU. Surely if you have the same decorations then yours would have impacted the neighbours in the same way? And your DS would have been upset whenever he saw them?

Either get slightly different decorations, put your current ones up inside instead, tell DS you can just add to the theme... Carve a great personalised pumpkin or two..?

I also think everyone is BU who shops on TEMU tbh

I saw some on my road the other day. I was thinking is it like Xmas decs now 🤣. I do think you’re overthinking but I do that all the time

Send your son and his friends round to the neighbours to trick or treat every night. They should have a decent collection of sweets by Halloween.