To want to completely change what my DC eat even when DH thinks I’m making a fuss?

you said it yourself, OP: you’re the one doing the food and your partner doesn’t do any cooking. You have control over what your family eats. Good that you’ve recognised things need to change, but maybe introduce change gradually? The BBC Good Food website is a good source of recipes . Good luck.

I think it would seem really overwhelming to do a complete overhaul, particularly if DH isn’t on board and with three children, time is obviously precious.

I’d swap breakfast for Cheerios or weetabix and coco pops if they wanted them as a treat on the weekend

lunch keep it to wraps, sandwich in wholemeal bread or a bagel thin with chicken, better quality cheese slices, houmous etc and serve it with raisins, Soreen, apple, banana or some other fruit, and maybe one small sweet thing

tea can still be oven food some days but things like omega three fish fingers, chicken chargrills etc

Can also make homemade pizzas from either naan breads or bought pizza bases and you add toppings,

pasta with pre chopped veg eg peppers, onions, mushrooms whatever else, cooked in a pan, a lot of Heinz sauces are upf free then some grated cheese on top

cheese and tinned tomatoes on toast

sausage mash and beans

Swap pasta for wholewheat pasta, bread for wholemeal bread, no sugary chocolatey cereals, treats are once a week and just a small pack of chocolate buttons or similar, or make homemade biscuits, cornflake cakes, fairy cakes etc.

Ive got a husband who would also eat very similar if left to his own devices so it’s been a slow change but I will tell him as well that if he wants to eat what he wants that’s bad for him, that’s his choice but me and DS won’t be.

1. I think FAR more people eat like this than would care to admit it. These are the foods that are quick, easy, cheap, liked by kids and heavily marketed to us. Us mums are trying to work / house keep / do activities with the kids and it is hard to find the time to cook 3 meals a day.

1. It is Amazing you've recognised the issue. I've had a recent epiphany that we're over eating junk and it just has to stop. I have a chocolate addiction and the kids always want it when they see it (fair!). We all snack too often. So while main meals can be healthy, I sabotage us.

1. Your DH sounds like he will be a major obstacle. If he is not on board you are way more likely to fail here. Surely he wants better for his children, himself and you? Would it be worth watching one of those "super size me' or 'UPF Britian' documentaries with him?

1. Prepare for resistance. You'll probably make nutrutious meals that are totally refused. There will be a big adjustment period, but stay firm. When we get back from a week at my parents, the kids only want cereal and snacks and it is HARD to try and get them back on the porridge.

Good luck! I'm right there with you.

If you buy abd cook the majority of the food just start making changes op. If there’s less junk in the house when your husband steps in to air fry a nugget he might instead have to do pasta and salad.

if he wants to continue eating junk that’s his choice but you and your DC deserve better.

breakfasts eggs on toast, porridge, Weetabix, yoghurt, fruit, occasional treat cereal once a week I’d still pick ones that are nutritious but call it a treat option or marmite peanut butter or healthy choc spread on toast.
lunch at school or homemade meals with lots of veg and salad.
tea if eaten at school homemade soup is the easiest or omelettes baked potato, beans on toast if it’s cold weather. Otherwise sandwich, salad, fruit platter.
snacks yoghurt bowl of fruit on the side
and once a week a treat like sweets crisps that sort of thing.p, bowl of icecream. Treats are still allowed there’s just less of them as they aren’t automatically in the house.

don’t make things harder for yourself but just implement mini changes. I’m surprised the school fed your eldest nuggets and chips. For some kids that would have been their only decent meal of the day so the school should be feeding them better food.

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Your h really needs to step up to do his share while he’s off work, and an important part of that is prepping healthy meals for you all.

you could look at the Eatwell Guide - https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-guidelines-and-food-labels/the-eatwell-guide/ And NHS salt guidelines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-types/salt-in-your-diet/

then maybe check what your dc eat in a typical day. That might scare your h into waking up and being a bit more helpful.

You will really need to be on the same issue with this, though, for it to work.

You’re so doing the right thing. your kids will thank you in the future.

I'd suggest making small changes rather than wholesale changes. Taste buds take time to adjust.

You could have prepared carrot sticks, cucumber and sugar snap peas in the fridge, cut up apple and babybels which you just put out before dinner. Try to find something protein that they'll eat as a snack.

Normal squash I don't think affects their teeth. So perhaps don't worry about that right away. But if baby teeth need to be removed, which they usually do rather than fill, it can affect the growing in of their adult teeth so it does matter.

If you want to batch cook, I've purchased some cup and half cup size cube 'ice cube' silicone trays. You can pop out the portion you need and they defrost quickly. Like the stocked brand concept but hopefully food they'll eat.

There's an NHS healthy swaps app you could look at. E.g. pretzels or baked crisps instead of normal ones.

It's as much about what you don't buy as what you do- don't buy biscuits, cereal,crisps, cookies etc - you DH needs a good talking to, doing no cooking, having no job and buying junk food- not a great combination.
Cook nutritious decent food with plenty of veg and fruit- if you don't have all the junk food in they can't fall back on it.
It will be a battle, they are used to eating rubbish and won't want to change, and you need to read DH the riot act, he is undermining your efforts and not helping at all despite having far more time at his disposal than you.
Your 5 year old may not be fat yet but he is well on his way to getting there- well done for trying to make positive change.

What is DH doing whilst you are doing the morning routine? Surely whilst he is at home he sorts the older boys whilst you sort out the baby. Don’t buy chocolate cereal and other similar foodstuffs

You don’t have to go whole hog all in one go. If they’ve not had eggs /weetabix for breakfast before then they’ll not know what it’s like.
Get some kid friendly knives and they can help chop cucumber etc.
Even if it’s just occasionally it’s a start. 🙂

I haven't read the full thread but how is your unemployed husband paying for takeaways three times a week?

Can you say to him, 'look darling, I know this might be pointless or overkill but it's really, really important to me that the children's diet is different. Even though you don't agree, please could you just support me on this to make me happy?'

One of those, is he? Thinks he knows better than anyone else, including experts in the field. Ugh. People like that are among the most irritating in the world.

I can't imagine that he is particularly healthy himself, if he lives on takeaways, beige food, biscuits, and crisps. And leads a sedentary existence as well. As an adult, he really can't blame the way he grew up either. Children are at the mercy of the food their parents give them. But adults can choose a different path, as you are trying to do @boltmelon

When will your maternity leave end? I hope by that time your DH will be back at work. If he ends up being the sole parent at home, he will probably undo any positive changes you make with your children's diet.

If you want meal ideas, amy sheppard on Instagram is good, she also has two cook books
i like dontgobaconmyheart as well, his cookbook is called comfy and his website is great

The first change I would make is stop buying chocolate cereal. That is one product I would happily ban nobody needs that much sugar at breakfast.

make small changes each week rather than trying to overhaul everything at once

Is your DH obese? He may be worried that if you’re eating healthily that he will have to and that might cause him genuine anxiety if he’s additcted to takeaways and junk

When i was trying to make healthier meals for my kids, we tried to eat a different colour vegetable every tea time and they got excited about it and would eat them. And vegetables are pretty easy if you just buy them frozen as you don’t have them going bad before you’ve eaten the whole pack. Carrots, sweetcorn, broccoli, tomato, beetroot, cauliflower, aubergine etc all different colours and easy enough to prepare!

Have you ever considered leaving him op? From what you’ve said he doesn’t bring anything positive at all to your childrens lives but maybe there’s stuff you haven’t said?

Does he go to the dentist or GP himself for checkups?

Read 'Ultra Processed People' by Chris van Tulleken, and have your partner do the same. If that doesn't do it for you both, nothing will.

Would he take advice from anyone else, like the health visitor or the GP?

Boltmelon please please don’t feel stupid. You run yourself down a lot in your OP.

I assume this was the diet you were brought up on and are just continuing. BUT you’ve had a wake up call with the dentist and instead of shrugging your shoulders, you’re actually trying to change. That’s amazing! You should be proud of yourself!!

It looks like you’re not winning this “battle” with your OH though which must be upsetting.

Have you tried going about it another way? Looking at all the money you as a family are “wasting” on takeaways. I mean that must taking a HUGE whack of your income, which I assume isn’t that much to begin with, if neither of you are working. Maybe your OH might be a bit more agreeable to diet changes if it means you have more money?

Keep battling OP, this will make a huge difference to your children’s lives and future health.

This is making me really cross , you have 2 tiny children and one who is still just a little boy !
Husband needs to step up and do some of the cooking or more of the chores , you have enough on your plate .
The dental issues do matter , some of that will be down to incorrect brushing and some will be because of the sugar , especially the juice and squash to drink.
Cut right back on sugary drinks especially.
There are loads of easy or quick dinner suggestions on here already .
Breakfast can be Oatibix or Weetabix , plain yogurt and fruit , toast and eggs .

I'm quite shocked by a father saying it doesn't matter if his young children have cavities because they're only baby teeth. I do think that's pretty neglectful I'm sorry to say.

It is good you have recognised there is a problem because there clearly is and I agree with you that you're setting them up to fail if you carry on down this path. Your DH is resisting it because it shines a light on his own poor diet and he's feeling defensive. If nothing else how much are all these takeaways costing if he's not even working? It must be costing you both a fortune!

I do think there's a balance to be had but we aim for 80% whole food and I don't worry about the other 20%. As an example my young DDs have today eaten porridge with cinnamon and chopped plum for breakfast, we went to a café this morning and they had a danish pastry there then played on the park, lunch was cheese on toast (homemade seeded bread) and tomatoes, dinner is homemade beef and broccoli with rice. Desserts are fruit or yoghurt with no added sugar.

For some simple swaps..... Little Stars nuggets at Tesco in the frozen aisle are no junk and the chicken is blended with hidden veg. You can make cookies just by mashing bananas and adding oats and cinnamon or sesame seeds if you want them.