Ex ignored my message about needing major surgery after our split

That's to be expected if he walked out on you. He clearly had enough and isn't kind or respectful enough to do it in a more honourable way.

So he either wouldn't care less you needed surgery or might not even believe you. Thinking it's just a ruse to try and get his attention.

You need to get your real friends and family around you to support you for the surgery and recovery.

This bloke isn't worth your time and clearly had no desire to be with you when you're well, let alone not. He's the last person you need when you need to focus on your health.

I hope it goes well. I'm having surgery too in a few weeks and it is nerve wracking. But the surgeons do it every single day. And we'll feel better soon enough x

If you have children that need to be looked after during the time of your surgery/recovery, and he has not responded, he’s a deadbeat dad and I’m sorry for you and the children.

If you don’t have children, I’m stumped why you would have told him, and of course he would not respond as why would he?

Why did you tell him?

Maybe he thought you were trying to lure him back?

Do you have children together that you need help with while you’re in hospital or recuperating??

Either way this just goes to show what sort of person he is and why he is now an ex. I’m sorry he’s done this but it sounds like you’re better off without him.

He probably recognised that you were trying to emotionally manipulate him and chose not to engage.

Unfortunately people who are devastated at a break up sometimes use a need for support from exes as a way to keep contact and get back together. It's not really a good idea if you're the ex who really doesn't want this to re engage. It seems heartless on the receiving end, but its actually better in the long run. He shouldn't give you false hope and you need to break the habit of seeing him as your person.
It would have been nice to have at least acknowledged you with a 'sorry to hear that'. But you contacted him for a reason, so hand on heart, would that have been enough?

unless you have children and need to arrange care i am afraid he is your ex so has no obligation. if he came back at a bad time like that you would find that when he left again it would just open up the wounds again.

Sometimes people telling others of things like this to their ex's can be seen as trying to prise the door open, to get communication and it is manipulative. Your ex may be thinking if he engages at all, you will not let go. He may be right if you give him updates on your life despite being broken up.

You can only get on with your life OP. Move on, better for all as painful as it can be. Good luck with surgery.

The relationship is over, you need to understand that and leave him alone. Do you have family or friends that could support you?

Go back to your gp. Nobody on here can help you, you don't want to help yourself.

You post about him all the time and ignore advice. You say you have no friends, but recently arranged a hen party and mentioned a friend's wedding. It looks like you're seeking sympathy not advice. Go and get professional help, you're never going to move on if you don't

If you are genuine, you really need therapy and to stop posting on MN. Im happy for your ex that he got away from you in the end. You'll be lucky if he doesnt reportyou to the police for harassment.

Oh FFS I missed the username.

@TheOpalFox dozens of threads about this bloke. I feel sorry for him now, not you.

The relationship is over. Did you get counselling arranged?

I mean this as gently as I can but unless you have children that need arrangements for, then I can understand him not replying.

He is an ex and has made his boundary now that he is no longer a part of your life (unless children are involved)

Focus on building a support network others for your emotional support

Unless you have children together he shouldn't be involved. Lean on other people in your life.

Tbh I wouldn’t expect anything from an ex, OP, unless you have kids together?

Wishing you luck and a speedy recovery though 💐

It’s this poster again. OP youve posted so many times about this ex.

Hes your ex. You need to get some therapy to deal with this.

YANBU to be upset. Be kind to yourself (not by posting in AIBU!)

When you say "he walked away", do you mean that after the years he's spent asking you to leave, he eventually gave up and moved out himself? Your OP gives a snapshot of the situation which misses the vast context that underlies it - in the circumstances, you cannot expect and not should you be surprised that he hasn't responded.

Why did you need to tell him?

I'm not surprised he's an ex

Do you have children together?

If not then I don’t understand why you told him about your surgery. He had no responsibility for your emotional or physical well being.

Do you have friends or family you can rely on at such a difficult time?

I'm sorry you're going through this, but it's not his job to come to your side anymore, as painful as that is. Lean on friends and family.

He's your ex.

Unless you have children he needs to take care of, your major surgery is now nothing to do with him

Find a support network without him in it

I am sorry you’re heartbroken and in need of surgery though.

Who else can you reach out to for support? Friends family etc

Do you have kids he needs to look after? Or another reason to bond you together?
If not I think he’s maybe doing the right thing. He’s not responsible for your struggling and you may be asking for more than he can give here.