Page 2 | To send ds2 to a different school to ds1

LauritaEvita · Yesterday 10:02

mistysun · Yesterday 09:19

Probably worrying over nothing here.

I have two kids, both boys, both alright apart but with typical challenges and behaviour that’s mostly age appropriate but in different ways.

Time has come (almost) to apply for DS2’s school place and obviously thought he’d go to the same one as Ds1 and he probably will but I am worried as their behaviour together is really not very good. Even now when I’m picking up ds1 and have ds2 in the playground with me when they clap eyes on one another they instantly start charging around, running off, generally being wild.

I can’t stop worrying about if they behave like this at school. And part of me is wondering about considering different setting for ds2. Can’t decide if it’s madness or not though.

At my kids’ school let out, it’s like a pack of wild animals have been released from small cages. They all run out and start shouting, climbing things, wrestling each other, running in every direction, rolling on the floor etc. I absolutely love it. The yard is safe and there’s a small window of life where this behaviour is appropriate and doesn’t get you locked up 🤣 My kids get completely stuck in and it doesn’t worry me at all. I wouldn’t consider needing to send them to separate schools!

Original poster

mistysun · Yesterday 10:08

Klearst · Yesterday 09:53

Have a really good look round other schools. Don't compromise your son's education for the sake of separating them but if you find a really good alternative where you think he will thrive, then why not?

It does seem a bit of a sledgehammer solution if I am honest, but one of my children has SEN and I am much happier for my other child's sake when they are in different schools. I do think setting things up so they are less likely to fall into a role of trouble maker is something worth considering. But you would be taking on a load of extra hassle and they still might end up making raucous friends.

Do not send your son to a school you are less happy for the sake of separating them though.

Thanks for this (sorry I missed it) my huge worry is then being branded troublemakers.

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Original poster

mistysun · Yesterday 10:08

LauritaEvita · Yesterday 10:02

At my kids’ school let out, it’s like a pack of wild animals have been released from small cages. They all run out and start shouting, climbing things, wrestling each other, running in every direction, rolling on the floor etc. I absolutely love it. The yard is safe and there’s a small window of life where this behaviour is appropriate and doesn’t get you locked up 🤣 My kids get completely stuck in and it doesn’t worry me at all. I wouldn’t consider needing to send them to separate schools!

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Thank you I hope so just always feels so chaotic l!

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Original poster

mistysun · Yesterday 10:10

UnaGatita · Yesterday 10:01

Completely understand. Although I work in secondary school family dynamics can be a nightmare to manage. I don’t see a problem with different primary schools if you can manage the logistics. Once they have their own sets of friends they should be established enough to cope with the same secondary a year apart where there’s no class mixing between year groups…

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The secondary schools are massive compared to the primaries. We have two secondary schools they could go to and both have over 1500 students. But the primaries are pretty much all tiny rural schools with mixed classes. I always wonder how the kids manage at secondary but of course they do!

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LauritaEvita · Yesterday 11:04

mistysun · Yesterday 10:08

Thank you I hope so just always feels so chaotic l!

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It did to me at first as I’m not sure I was that type of kid myself (certainly wouldn’t have been wrestling etc 🤣 and was much less physical than my kids in general). I did used to feel like all my senses had been assaulted after pick ups. Now, however, I’m used to it and just leave them to it. I think it’s great to have siblings to go a bit mad with.

Ilmiocompleanno · Yesterday 11:23

If we are talking ordinary sibling romping and squabbling then I think you are massively overthinking this issue. It won't be the first time the teachers will have had to deal with siblings at the same school! They'll surely be used to it. In my experience young children generally have finely tuned antennae re what behaviour they can get away with with different people. They will quickly realise that they have to behave differently at school.

LlynTegid · Yesterday 11:28

It is reasonable to want DS2 not to be seen as DS1s younger brother (or vice versa) and have the comparison made. I'm not sure you've made sufficient a case for separate schools though.