Why do so many mums ditch their childfree friends?

Superior?

Again, I haven’t seen anyone outright say or even suggest that choosing to have children is a “superior” choice.

Having children is of course a choice, but that doesn’t negate the fact that being a parent means you have much less choice in how you spend your time, what you do and when you do it.

Apart from kids waking at crack of dawn the same can apply to child free people though.

If people don't want to go out in the evening then of course they will lose friends. It's difficult to keep friendships going if no one makes an effort

It might be that they simply don't want to go out in the evenings. Maybe they are tired, maybe they have hobbies, maybe their kids wake up at the crack of dawn. All sorts of reasons.

I haven’t done this and I have a good mix of childfree friends and friends with children. In fact, I really value the former as they remind me of my pre-child days, and sometimes I just want to ignore the fact I’m a parent and talk about something else. It actually annoys me sometimes when my childfree friends say bring DD; I know they’re being accommodating but it’s good to have a break occasionally.

That said, I also think you need to cut your parent friends some slack. Having a kid, even one, is probably the single most life-changing thing you can do. It utterly changes your life, your priorities, and is hugely time consuming. It’s not surprising that sometimes friendships that fitted a particular set of circumstances fall by the way side.

I recall an old friend who got very sulky and petulant when the times/dates I offered to meet up with her didn't match her schedule. She had no hobbies or interests or care-giving obligations. She just seemed to spend her weekends being hungover. Fair play to her but it doesn't work for me. I work full time, I have children and a husband, all of whom I like and want to spend time with, I have hobbies, holidays etc. We just have a really packed schedule and it's a simple fact that I could meet at 10 on a Saturday for a coffee but not a boozy night out because I have to get up at 7 the next day. My mum friends are happy to squeeze in a coffee and a quick walk between the school run and going to work in the mornings. Obviously the mum friends are a lot easier and more understanding.

Valid point. Doesn’t mean you didn’t have the “luxury of choice” though, because you did. And doesn’t mean that your choices or responsibilities or time are more, or less, important than anyone else’s.

You fail to see how actually choosing to be a parent is “having the luxury of choice”? It is a choice, in exactly the same way that choosing not to be a parent is a choice. Different choices, both equally valid, neither better or more superior than the other.

What about women with young children that work also. Where do they fit in. I'm sure ( hopefully) they don't spend all their time at work going on about their kids

And don't the majority of these women have partners? So what's stopping them taking turns going out then no childcare costs

Well yes, of course I’m speaking for myself 🙄

Whom else would I be speaking for? My next-door neighbour? The King? Worzel Gummidge? Joan Collins? The entire population of Norfolk? I can assure you I have no mandate to speak on their behalf. 😂

Yeah was just thinking this, based on the way OP speaks to people it seems less likely her friends cba with her anymore because she is child free, and more likely that it’s because she’s a bit of a piece of work!

Of course she is speaking for herself. We all are. So are you. Nobody posting on this site has been declared by popular acclaim as the Empress of Having Children, or the Universal
High Arbiter and Judge of Tiredness.

Your posts are strangely aggressive, and you seem to be taking potshots at all mums because some mums have drifted away from you. I honestly think, and I mean this as kindly as possible, that you would benefit from reflecting on whether your hostility or snarkiness might be a factor in your friendships drifting.

The thing is, people can choose to spend their free time with whoever they want to, and it just appears that at this moment in time, for whatever reason that’s not you. It might be because that at this time they don’t feel they have much in common with you, they cannot relate to you etc. It might also be that they’re awful people, but I suspect not as you wouldn’t have been friends with them in the first place.
My best friend drifted away from me (I tried, she wasn’t interested) when I had kids. It’s taken a few years but we’ve got the closeness back. She just couldn’t relate to me anymore. These things happen, lives change, people change.

Agree, I don’t think anyone has said that. Those of us with children have offered explanations as to why we are now a lot busier than we were before kids came along. That’s not saying that someone’s time is more valuable than someone else’s.
OP just seems to want a fight and to make it a race to the bottom. Maybe that’s why her friends with kids are no longer friends with her.

That’s grand.

Are you going to explain why you said “your time is not more valuable or precious” because no one on this thread has outright said or suggested that.

OP, why are you so angry? Have you considered that maybe your combative attitude is the reason people don’t want to be friends with you?

I am one of the ones who never lost touch with any of my friends - we all accommodated each other because thats what friends do, but frankly, the way you are responding in this thread, its no surprise at all people have "lost touch" with you.

You are coming across as rude, patronising, and snarky.

Mostly because as a mum to young children you are on a very different timetable to an adult who is at work. You see other mums because they are around during the day and are local to you. Typically you got out a lot less in the evening, and likely want to drink less. Going out childfree can be difficult due to cost of childcare. You generally have a lot less spare time as a parent and increased day to day caring related pressures and tiredness. So there are loads of very very practical reasons.

I have kids and I sleep.

Im pretty sure people that have had children get to sleep! Lol

You won’t be busy or stressed in the same way. You will very likely have slept.

I think it's an odd decision to ditch friends just because they are childless. Are you sure that is the reason and it's not just because you've drifted apart naturally. That happens with friendships sometimes.

I’m struggling to see how this is relevant to the post you quoted.