Why do so many mums ditch their childfree friends?

I think you probably just don’t appreciate how busy they can be. If they meet another friend who has children then the children will have a play date and be occupied.

Why do you say “so many mums”…how many of them do you know? Some people are just shit friends. Some people are finding navigating motherhood and juggling a social life difficult. Some find it easy to connect with people who are going through the same things as they are. And some are as you describe a bit self absorbed and believe the world must revolve around them….but that’s because they are shit friends not because they became parents. No need to blame being a parent for it when the reality is that they have prioritised other relationships. My advice would be to find other friends when you see that your efforts are not reciprocated.

Friendships do drift as people’s lives change: there are plenty of people I’ve been close to in the past but then once we no longer worked together, or shared a flat, or did the same hobby group or whatever we didn’t have so much in common, didn’t naturally bump into each other so much or have other prompts or reasons to meet up, just didn’t have as much to chat about.

It doesn’t even mean I liked them any less than I used to, just that spending time with them was a little bit harder or less natural.

The friendships could easily come back, just as strongly as before, if we were in each other’s day to day circles and had more in common again.

I just think it’s the same when you have kids - suddenly your entire life changes, huge parts of your life revolve around your kids, and of course it’s easier to socialise with other people when you have that in common.

Friendships will last best if you accept that they can ebb and flow - I’ve moved around a lot so have a lot of friends that I’m no longer close to, but am still in touch with and sometimes as life has changed again we’ve become closer again. The friendships that have definitely ended are the ones where the former friend became demanding/almost possessive about wanting to spend more time with me or creating dramas about what seemed to me like a normal drifting.

So if you’d like to be closer to these friends again in future, stay in touch, accept that you’re in different seasons of life right now, and focus elsewhere for a while.

Is the only problem that they’re not contacting you first? Are they pleased to see you / hear from you when you do? How old are the kids?

The tone of your post might give you the answer to your question

Why pay hundreds? Less had been fine.
If you don't like soft plays? Don't go.

Don't make yourself a victim or martyr.

Running a family is hard work. Most parents work full-time. Some have health issues. Some children are SEN and gave extra needs.

It also does happens that childless people neglect their friends because they are busy with work, travel, and hobbies.

What a lovely and not goady at all opening post 😆

Maybe you just weren't that good friends in the first place? Why not send them a message and say how you feel?