AIBU to wonder if my surfing instructor should offer me a lift?

It would not be appropriate i think

Op, how did this surf lesson stuff come about? Did you actually want lessons and look for an instructor and by chance found someone who lives very near to you? Or did you take a fancy to this guy when you saw him out and about and fabricate a deep desire for surfing and then assume that you'd get to spend every Saturday doing a 5 hour round trip together and now you're disappointed that it hasn't quite panned out?

Holy drip feed, 16 weeks and you fancy him 😱 This makes it slightly more awkward to ask him. What if he's the kind of person who doesn't want to offend, this just puts him on the spot.

You do what you gotta do though, faint heart and all that...

You’ve posted about him before. Has something changed since the last thread?

As someone who has a bit of a crush on my instructor (not surfing 🤣) there probably is no chance of this going anywhere. I just enjoy the “energy” and smutty day dreams! Unless he asks you out don’t torture yourself trying to read into every interaction. That way madness lies.

This is very entitled.

And this is why he definitely shouldn't give you a lift!

It was a different sport last time, but same context. Lots of people offering reasons about the lifts / not lifts, then the reveal about the crush.

OP, if you want advice about someone you fancy, why not just post about that?

I thought I’d read this question before too! And that the answer was overwhelmingly to let him be. Even if that was someone else, the answers are consistent!

Re the “attraction”, he might just be a magnetic personality that you, amongst many others, are drawn to. And probably he’s learn to keep his boundaries through long experience.

If he were attracted to you too, that would be more reason again to keep professional boundaries. Or if he suspects that you fancy him, ditto.

All in all, adding in 5 hours in a car isn’t something I’d expect someone earning their living to do. He might really enjoy and value the quiet time driving to and from the venue.

You say you’ve seen lots of others lift sharing, why not ask if you could join some of the others if driving yourself is an issue for you?

I knew OP fancied him. That makes it even more inappropriate. If she didn't and he was just some guy, I'd guess she wouldn't want to spend five hours in a car with him.

I don’t believe a word of this post. The biggest red flag is the surf instructor hiring equipment. Surf instructors do not hire equipment, they have a minimum of 30 boards for personal use covering every wave type. No surf instructor would EVER hire a board. Trips abroad mean taking at least five of their own boards.
Unless you are a grom who competes or have a UK ranking , no surf instructor is driving 2.5 hours to take you for a lesson. Utter rubbish.

Well that's fine isn't it, but it's OK to suggest it surely. It's hardly a crazy suggestion

Also finding it weird that a surfing instructor lives so far from a good surfing beach 😆

Rather than sharing lifts if you fancy him you’d be better off asking him if he fancies a drink one night in your local.

I see no harm in messaging him asking if he would like to do a lift share for lessons and your happy to drive. Make it clear your happy either way

Would you still be thinking about asking your instructor to share a lift if the instructor was someone who you didn’t fancy?
If not then it shows you have an ulterior motive & it’s not about the convenience at all.

Yes, do this.
He may feel awkward asking you if you want a lift, but the power dynamic is different if you raise it, casually.

I’m quite surprised by some of the reactions on this thread. The OP is an adult entirely voluntary student, not a schoolchild ffs.
FWIW when I was a PhD student I had a few day trips to London with my supervisor to use some special kit, I don’t think it entered either of our minds that we ‘ought’ to travel separately. It was 100% a “normal, logistical thing”.

You’ve asked this question before haven’t you? Wasn’t the general consensus to leave the man alone?

My god, think of the environment. I'd offer yes

You could offer him a lift.
But it night be he wants peace in that 2.5hr. Or wants some surf time to himself

BTW these surf lessons must be costing a fortune are you paying for his travel time too?

Ok, so yes he probably feels awkward if he thinks you fancy him. I wouldn’t want to spend that long in a car with someone I barely know, especially if they have hinted they fancy me.

Even if he didn’t feel awkward about you fancying him, I still wouldnt want to share a journey for that long with someone who wasn’t a friend or family member. Just let it go and don't put him in an awkward position by offering a lift.

Yes.

Yabu.. Poor instructor is going to work, might have other students to teach or gym, shopping etc or just want to unwind after or pre work. Your responsibility to get to there and back.

That’s a very good reason not to share a lift. You’re already thinking there’s a mutual attraction when he may just be being friendly. It’s not unusual for instructors to have a friendly casual relationship with people they teach, that doesn’t mean he fancies you. That you’re reading something into why he drives alone tells me you’re blurring boundaries.

Even if he was interested it would be highly unprofessional of him to pursue anything while you’re his student - can you imagine the impact on his business if he was known to shag his female students. I wouldn’t suggest sharing a lift, and would be very careful about your own boundaries.

Op wrote this:

AIBU to expect to share a lift

Op, expecting makes you cheeky and entitled, as others have already said.