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AIBU?

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Who should pay for flights?

80 replies

AIBU76 · 25/09/2026 19:43

Person A and person B are going on holiday and paid separately for their flights. Person B had a bereavement so Person A cancelled the hotel believing that Person B wouldnt want to go anymore. Person A did not speak to Person B about this at all before cancelling. Person B hadnt said anything about not wanting to go and cancellation was done only a few days after bereavement. Person B can't get a refund for flights as travel insurance small print doesnt cover a relative dying from a pre existing condition and both flight companies only refund if the death was within 10 days of flight. Who should pay for Person B's flights?

OP posts:
TruffleSlinky · 25/09/2026 21:50

It sounds like A cancelled because they don't want to go themselves. Not because they thought B wouldn't want to go. Is that right? They should have talked to B but no one has to go on holiday if they don't want to.

purpleme12 · 25/09/2026 21:52

Well no but if a holiday was planned and booked and agreed and then my companion pulled out I'd be pretty pissed off. Never mind cancelling mine without telling me as well

HambleTheDoll · 25/09/2026 21:53

Why doesn’t he want to go with you?

JoyChansey · 25/09/2026 22:16

This is why when I go away on holiday with other people, I always book my own accommodation and flights, and prepared to go on my own if anyone else bails out for whatever reason.

I'd also add that when my dad died a few years ago, I had a holiday booked with friends which was 3 weeks later, which I still went to.

I could have not gone, and no one else would've been affected by my absence.

FrogsAtDawn · 25/09/2026 22:26

If they were refunded for the hotel, then person B could just rebook a hotel and go as they still have the flights.

If person B doesn’t want to go alone and person A won’t go with them then Person B should accept the loss of money as they haven’t lost the flights, but are choosing to not go.

It sounds like A didn’t want to go on holiday with someone grieving or there was an argument about this situation and now A doesn’t want to go. Either way that’s their choice.

ColdAsAWitches · 25/09/2026 22:42

You really just need to explain what happened. How are A and B related, why did A cancel part of the trip? You bring cryptic isn't helping anyone to help you.

TremendousFlatulence · 25/09/2026 23:19

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MrsBatshitRatshit · 25/09/2026 23:54

cartagenagina · 25/09/2026 21:13

So why doesn’t A want to go any more? This is all very confusing…

Person A is presumably embarrassed because Person B has pointed out that Person A is an idiot.

unsync · Yesterday 07:08

I don't understand. If B is the bereaved person and still wants to go, why does A not want to go now? Just rebook the accommodation. A should pay for any price difference as they should have consulted B before cancelling. If both A and B have changed their minds about holidaying together, then I would assume each bears their own cancellation costs. If only one has changed their mind and the other doesn't want to go solo, then the one who has changed their mind should pay.

cartagenagina · Yesterday 07:15

AIBU76 · 25/09/2026 21:18

Person A is also affected by the bereavement but much less so.

Who decided person A is less affected by the bereavement? Person B?

This is a massive drip feed.

A decided they didn’t want to go on the holiday due to a bereavement and cancelled the hotel.

B was also bereaved but would still have gone on holiday, but doesn’t want to go alone.

So B needs to either go alone or find someone else to go with. If that’s not possible then they miss out. 🤷‍♀️

cartagenagina · Yesterday 07:18

Also, if this thread is indicative of your communication skills, I can easily see how this situation arose.

dairydebris · Yesterday 07:41

Is the bereavement a red herring and actually A just no longer wishes to go on holiday?

Where is it to? 👿

welshgirl2025 · Yesterday 07:54

just book another hotel!! if not then person B needs to bear any loss as they cancelled without consulting person A

justagirlwithabrokenbrain76 · Yesterday 07:56

This thread gets more confusing the more op posts

welshgirl2025 · Yesterday 08:03

sorry just realised i got it the wrong way around.

BrightLemonHam · Yesterday 08:05

AIBU76 · 25/09/2026 21:18

Person A is also affected by the bereavement but much less so.

Person A is selfish. She should have checked before cancelling, so she absolutely has to pay.

It’s not even up for debate.

Bjorkdidit · Yesterday 08:05

Sounds like Person A has changed their mind about the trip so is using the bereavement to push blame for cancelling onto person B, which is a shitty thing to do.

If person A has changed their mind they either need to get over themselves and go, or they need to suck up all costs of cancellation including person Bs flight.

OffTheMap · Yesterday 08:23

Why can’t they both go and book new accommodation?

Would B still have wanted to go despite the bereavement?

Did A still want to go despite bereavement?

Morecoffeeneedef · Yesterday 08:27

AIBU76 · 25/09/2026 20:37

Person B doesnt want to go on holiday alone

Sorry about your bereavement. Your friend made assumptions but possibly wanted to help. Do you still want to go on this holiday with them? If so, talk to them about how it can be arranged.

SaySomethingMan · Yesterday 08:29

mrsm43s · 25/09/2026 20:53

In which case they should obviously pay for their own flight, since it is their choice not to go.

Agree with this.
What a sad situation but people react to grief differently and person A has the right to not go on holiday as she mourns, however distantly.

Laurmolonlabe · Yesterday 08:31

Person A- who cancels a joint booking without consulting the other person- ridiculous.

SaySomethingMan · Yesterday 08:31

cartagenagina · Yesterday 07:18

Also, if this thread is indicative of your communication skills, I can easily see how this situation arose.

This person has potentially been bereaved recently. Is this post necessary?

TheOccupier · Yesterday 08:33

Book new accommodation and go on your own. It will be better than you think.

cartagenagina · Yesterday 08:45

SaySomethingMan · Yesterday 08:31

This person has potentially been bereaved recently. Is this post necessary?

Both parties have been bereaved. Yes, you can see how that might have affected communication.

Sparklybanana · Yesterday 08:47

Where was the holiday? Going alone can be a significantly better holiday than you, I mean B, might think it is. Actually quite freeing and might be what you need.

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