It's a group of school friends, we've been friends since start of high school and mid 30s now.
I'm part of the group but not really a 'part" of it, I feel.
This woman has a 18 month old daughter who I've never met, when she was born I posted a card (she lives about 2h drive).
I have done the 2h trip to see her a few times, last time was 2 years ago, the previous times another friend from the group actually lived with her so I used to go to see them both, but they've never been up to me.
I was meant to go to travel to her at the start of this year, but i had to postpone as I got hit with a ton of bills of nearly 1k (im a landlord). She understood, once I got paid again and got back on my feet, I messaged her asking which date was best for me to rearrange, she never replied.
I felt bad for cancelling (gave about 5 days' notice) but I was struggling to pay bills. I last saw her about 1 year ago at a mutual friend's wedding. No conversations except for 'happy birthday' on the group chat and so on.
I've been invited on the hen do but I'm reluctant to spend much money, it's currently being planned by her bridesmaids, but I'm waiting to hear about a price, if I get a '£200 per person" msg, I'm thinking why should I?
They've never thought 'I wonder how Bloated is doing, I'll have to go down and see her'.