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AIBU?

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To think colleague was rude?

13 replies

cowboytears · 25/09/2026 16:29

We have a new colleague starting and it’s badly needed and me and another colleague were discussing how long it takes for all our background checks to take before we could start.

Colleague said how long hers took and I said something like - it’s crazy, I got offered the job the same week as my interview and it still took 2 months before I could start.

Colleague responded - yes but my role was actually competitive. Then went into detail about the people she was up against.

Her role is senior to mine. I just felt a bit dismissed that she implied my role was given to me because it lacked genuine competition.

(We started at the same time so she wouldn’t have had any involvement in my interview process)

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cowboytears · 25/09/2026 18:58

Venusunbroken · 25/09/2026 18:22

But competitive doesn’t mean more applicants, it’s the quality of, she may well know the calibre she was up against?

are you sure you’re maybe not a little sensitive you’re more junior than her?

No why would I be sensitive I’m more junior? She’s 11 years older and has worked in the industry longer.

im fairly new into the industry after changing career paths.

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BillieWiper · 25/09/2026 18:42

cowboytears · 25/09/2026 16:50

I think she has quite a competitive edge. I doubt she’s jealous of me, but maybe in that moment that she thought I got hired quicker than her sparked that competitive side …. Even though logically we went for different roles at different levels.

She sounds really rather sad. What grown adult could possibly be competitive about something that already happened and doesn't affect you in any way?

Venusunbroken · 25/09/2026 18:22

cowboytears · 25/09/2026 17:05

Just because a role is more senior and pays more that doesn’t automatically mean more applicants will apply or it will attract better talent.

How would she have known the competitive level of people applying for my role to make her statement true?

But competitive doesn’t mean more applicants, it’s the quality of, she may well know the calibre she was up against?

are you sure you’re maybe not a little sensitive you’re more junior than her?

cowboytears · 25/09/2026 17:09

Slumgullion · 25/09/2026 17:03

Well, were you expecting her to be self-deprecating about how she got her position because she's new, and are feeling unreasonably annoyed that she didn't play along?

Though I agree with @BillieWiper that it seems rather odd she knows so much about the other candidates, unless it was some kind of group interview situation?

What do you mean she’s new? We’ve both been here about a year, I just started 2 maybe 3 weeks before her. And played along at what?

I can’t imagine her interview was a group one. They are recruiting at her level now and they haven’t done groups.

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cowboytears · 25/09/2026 17:05

Sartre · 25/09/2026 16:53

But is she right? She may have been blunt in her delivery but if her role IS more competitive, she was probably just explaining why it didn’t take as long for her to get started.

Just because a role is more senior and pays more that doesn’t automatically mean more applicants will apply or it will attract better talent.

How would she have known the competitive level of people applying for my role to make her statement true?

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Slumgullion · 25/09/2026 17:03

Well, were you expecting her to be self-deprecating about how she got her position because she's new, and are feeling unreasonably annoyed that she didn't play along?

Though I agree with @BillieWiper that it seems rather odd she knows so much about the other candidates, unless it was some kind of group interview situation?

Venusunbroken · 25/09/2026 16:59

I’m also wondering if she was right?

Sartre · 25/09/2026 16:53

But is she right? She may have been blunt in her delivery but if her role IS more competitive, she was probably just explaining why it didn’t take as long for her to get started.

cowboytears · 25/09/2026 16:51

Smallpoxy · 25/09/2026 16:40

Sounds like a kindergarden...

You don’t know the half of it

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cowboytears · 25/09/2026 16:50

BillieWiper · 25/09/2026 16:38

How odd. How would she know all the other candidates that were interviewed for your role? Or even her own? And how 'important' they were.

Do you get the impression she is jealous of you or feels threatened? Is she rude to others?

I think she has quite a competitive edge. I doubt she’s jealous of me, but maybe in that moment that she thought I got hired quicker than her sparked that competitive side …. Even though logically we went for different roles at different levels.

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Smallpoxy · 25/09/2026 16:40

Sounds like a kindergarden...

BillieWiper · 25/09/2026 16:38

How odd. How would she know all the other candidates that were interviewed for your role? Or even her own? And how 'important' they were.

Do you get the impression she is jealous of you or feels threatened? Is she rude to others?

AdeleRochester · 25/09/2026 16:32

Yes it was rude, it doesn't pass the 3 gates test:

Was it true?
Was it kind?
Was it necessary?

It was most assuredly unnecessary. However it’s the kind of comment I’d let slide while noting for future reference.