Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

I'm definitely having a direct cremation. IDGAF if it's 'just body disposal.' What do you think a cremation is when there IS a funeral? That it's stuffed and people take it home and display it in the dining room?!

I don't want a funeral, and both my (adult) DC have said they are more than happy for me to not have one. DH is the same. He wants a direct cremation too. Can't see the point of a funeral, I don't like them, I don't like going to them, and I think a simple alternative is an excellent idea.

Two thirds of the people turning up at funerals are often people who've had fuck-all to do with the person who is dead for the past 20+ years anyway. I can't stand faux mourning from people who probably didn't even know the eye colour of the deceased, or their middle name, and who haven't seen them since the last century! You even get people turning up who never met them!

I went to a funeral of a man who died very suddenly in June, (a neighbour.) We saw him most days and he was friendly and chatty. Around 100 people came to his funeral at the town crematorium. Around 60 of them I've never seen in my life. (And I had known this man since 2010.) Before the funeral, there were crowds of men laughing and joking before the funeral, and saying 'y'all right mate, not seen you in a couple of months, how's tricks?!' and slapping each other on the back. Hooting and jeering like hooligans.

It was a fucking funeral, and they were acting like it was a school reunion, or a party, or a wedding 'night do.' Pissed as farts as the wake at the local social club, within an hour of getting there. So fucking disrespectful. The close family of the deceased gentlemen left the wake after an hour, and all these men kept partying into the evening.

Like hell is that happening when I die! There was no celebration of the man's life, it was just a piss up, with a load of free food!

This is what i want where not religious, funerals are horrible and il be dead so whats it matter.

My dad had a pure cremation this year. We were able to amend it if we wanted to, to be present etc, if we wanted some words spoken. We went with dad's wishes and just chose a song for him to be taken into the crem with. It was a bit odd on the day - he was cremated at 8 so I had a cup of tea in bed and listened to our playlist we had when he was in hospital. I can understand why he did it and I'm not sure I won't do the same.

This is what both my husband and I wanted/want and it was written into our POA. My husband's happened 2 years ago tomorrow.
It was a local undertaker who did it for me and he brought my husband's body in a wicker casket in his vehicle and passed in front of our house then on to the Crem. In the evening I took my friend and her husband out for a meal.
It cost just over £1800 which included bringing my husbands ashes home a week later in a nice casket. I don't regret doing it like this as I know I couldn't have faced the usual funeral.
We only came back to live in the UK a few years ago and the friends we had previously are either dead or live all over the Country so it would have been very small one anyway.

That has always been an option as far as I'm aware. Crematorium chapels are not all sterile either - they vary although they are non-denominational so eg the stained glass windows in the local crematorium chapels are patterns or nature inspired rather than saints and gods.

Similarly there is no requirement to have a lot of formality in a funeral if you don't want it. You can literally have whatever you want and either do it yourself or engage a celebrant to help structure it if you don't want a priest/minister.

That's the thing though. It's very personal and I'll bet you wouldn't dream of telling people how to grieve, so why would you do it when it comes to funerals?

It's not healing at all. A lot of people find it horrendous and shouldn't be bullied into having one by someone who doesn't mind them.

Our local undertakers offer it, I'm sure they would still be respectful.

I don’t think it’s misleading. It’s a cremation service rather than a funeral service. I’d prefer just to be cremated tbh.

I’d agree with a pp that funerals like marriages are changing. Some people do go all out, some just do the legal essentials and everything in between. You are equally dead and cremated at the end of the day.

You do have to have a coffin but it would be a cardboard one .

My parents had unattended cremations due to the logistics (height of COVID), but I think detaching the body disposal from the celebration of life makes a lot of sense - you can bring everyone together to mourn them as quickly as you like (no waiting 4 weeks for a funeral), and in whatever way you want - whether that's in a church, pub, field or beach and with as much or as little 'fuss' like flowers and music as you want. The (very lovely, kind and helpful) funeral directors said that they could facilitate whatever we wanted, but actually scattering their ashes (yes, they came back separately and all very dignified) in a place they loved was enough closure

We had a direct cremation for both my parents - they were emphatic about not wanting a funeral.

Do not use one of these companies. Totally unnecessary and bound to cause more expense.

We arranged through the local undertaker. The first time, they told us the date and time of the cremation - which takes place at the local crematorium. We had chosen not to attend. In the end my sibling couldn't bear it and turned up. The kind operatives let her in - they did have my parent's name on a nice screen, and were very respectful - even tho they expected no one to be there. There is a cheaper option where you do not know the time and date - they just fit in at their convenience.

The next time we opted to have the small number of family members present at the crematorium - they allow a limited number of people for a short time with the coffin rather than a service etc. Again - all very calm and respectful - they played music of our choice and we sat with the coffin for a few moments in the crem before saying good bye and leaving. It was short and private.

All this was a very reasonable price - much cheaper than a typical crem service.

We collected ashes in due course.

There needs to be an undertaker in any case, so just do it through your local trusted company who can talk you through the options.

We had a direct cremation via a local undertaker for my DM. It was much cheaper and fairly straightforward. In all other aspects they treat it the same as any other cremation, taking the body in a hearse and they’re suitably attired. We could have opted for flowers but they talked me out of that! We chose an end of day slot and requested that a particular song be played. We listened to it at the same time. We’ve got her ashes back and we’re planning a celebration of her life at a later date. We’ll scatter some of her ashes here and some where she lives for over 30 years. The only thing that annoyed me was the crematorium getting in touch afterwards and trying to flog me ridiculously priced, unnecessary things like a plot in their grounds and a handwritten note in a ledger that was £300 alone.

Same. I’ve told my kids and they are both fine with it. They both want a direct cremation too.

I know. But the point I was making is that it was oddly healing to have his body there, in the coffin, as we all remembered him so fondly. To be there to say goodbye. To have the body of a loved one sent off to burn with no one there to show their love and respect feels odd to me.

Yes, though I'm amused at how much pushy, warm-and-fuzzy advertising it's getting on daytime TV at the moment. I had minor surgery recently and spent a couple of days on the sofa with my leg elevated, and saw endless ads in which perky, good-looking older women with nice hair got very enthusiastic indeed about having pre-bought a direct cremation so that their children wouldn't have the faff of organising a funeral. The bouncy tone was the same as 'I've just found a lovely company that are going to buy my house for pots of cash and still let me live there till I die!' and 'X Energy Company are so cheap and easy to change over to!'

You don’t have to watch the coffin go through the curtain anymore. You can all leave the chapel of rest and the coffin goes through the curtain then .

Yes, I think it's shroud only, and no coffin, and no embalming of the body at the woodland burial place I'm aware of. I think some are OK with willow caskets.

I'm doing this for my mum when the time come, she's an atheist and we don't have much family left to attend. The ones who will want to attend haven't bothered to come to see her while she's alive so they aren't coming to any funeral.

I think that people don’t actually attend funerals like they used to .A lot of people went to catch up with old workmates and family. Now we have the internet keeping in touch is much easier . Plus employers are very reluctant to give time off for funerals today unless it’s very close family. It’s a lot of money to pay out for a funeral that few people are going to attend .

Funerals are for the living, but if this was my kids preference I’d be perfectly happy with it. It’s definitely becoming increasingly popular - I can think of quite a few people who have chosen DC. No worse than a rushed crematorium service really.
Definitely don’t want to be buried - I hate being cold! 😂

All funerals are a body disposal service OP.

This service just involves the least cost.

Something like this with a relative of mine. I didn't really get it, it seemed to be 'they'll be cremated some time in the next few days' and my gran thought it might be a multiple body cremation rather than singularly. No ashes but I don't know if they were available.

The person was estranged from all next of kin but I think she had friends who'd have gone to a service. Maybe she requested it, best to think she did.

You can pre-pay a green burial plot, if you feel strongly about it. There's restrictions about the type of coffin your have, and the burial ground will have guidelines about what can planted around you, so you need to leave specific instructions for whoever is arranging it.

Not a chance.
Burials are not allowed near water courses now.
Put in your will to be cremated and have your ashes scattered there instead.

At the end of the day, the body needs to be got rid of, so this seems the ideal way to me. I’ll be having a direct cremation or whatever it’s called. A lot cheaper and no faff of a service.