Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

My dad had already paid for direct cremation and the plan is for us to get a pub and he has a whole plan for his favourite music, he’s put together a whole power point telling his ( very interesting) life story and sharing photos of him in his various bands and public facing roles. He’s recorded himself talking about his family and his memories not not like a whole seminar, just in 2-5 minute soundbites interspersed with music and photos. A kind of “this was my life” and these are the Pele Avas events that were important to me. He’s even got cds with the file and photos on for people to take away if they want to. It’s far, far from “body disposal”. He wants us to spend the £5k he has saved on a family holiday which I think is lovely. Then we get his ashes back and he goes on the family plot.

I’m defo up for the same thing for me and DH. But I’d quite like my ashes to be spread in my favourite spot in Wales where I have the very best memories from holidaying with my nan, then my children and now spending time away with my grand children.

Whether it's a lovely thing is a matter of personal preference. All forms of cremation are 'body disposal.' Even burial is eventually just a means of body disposal, it just takes a lot longer to dispose of. So what? Most people don't especially care about how their body is disposed of, so long as it's not left rotting in public view and attracting vultures.

There is an awful lot of pressure on families to give their relatives a 'good send off' when the reality is that for the elderly, there is often a poor turn out anyway. Most of their friend, colleagues, siblings etc are either already dead or too elderly and infirm to travel and it feels like a huge imposition that loads a sense of guilt onto those who feel unable to attend. I'd much rather give my children 10k to spend on things they need and want, and ask them to mark my death among themselves in whatever way they choose (ideally doing something private and low key) than waste it on an elaborate funeral that people might feel obliged to travel to, but would probably rather not.

Any amount of money spent on a very fancy coffin always seems like an outrageous waste of money to me.

You can do all of that without a funeral though... it just needs to be planned.

We paid for pure cremation funerals 10 years sgo - i wanted to have it all paid for in advance as i read somewhere that funeral prices were rising. I also knew that we would be moving house at some stage so didnt want to use a local firm. I think we paid about £1500 each.

When my DH died a couple of years ago I arranged direct cremation with the Co-Op. Cost £1395. Ashes were returned to me afterwards.

My dad and step mum have opted for a direct cremation and I don’t blame them. We’ve had so many traumatic family funerals. I want to be buried as if I had any choice I’d never go in a crem again, alive or dead. They’re just awful places. My mum will need a funeral one day in the future which will be awful as she’s upset a lot of people over the years who may want to come for closure (and to ask about some dodgy finances which isn’t going to be fun)

Oooh yeah, I hate that advert.

I'm a former death worker. Natural burials are becoming a lot more common but there are a lot of strict rules that you need to follow. I like the option, although I personally plan to be cremated. I've seen first hand the process for embalming, and decided long ago to never do it. It has its place, but is very invasive. Never let a funeral director tell you that embalming is mandatory.

We used a service like this for a family member. They were very respectful about the whole thing, and delivered her ashes back beautifully packaged etc. We held a separate memorial. I am intending to ask my loved ones to do direct cremation for me too when I die.

If you have an elderly relative where most friends have died or too infirm to attend a service and very few relatives left then these services seem ideal. We are in this position and they have asked for Pure Cremation. We will use local undertakers and they give the option of bringing able to be at crematorium when coffin arrives. Relative hates funerals and fuss and there would probably only be 4 people at the service if we had one

I knew an elderly man who opted for this. Six months later (in the summer), his children booked a room at a pub with a big garden and invited family and friends for a memorial party. There were displays of photos, and some relatives said a few words. It was great.

Pure cremation is a brand and I think their ads are very misleading and there has been lots of negative press regarding their practices. Most funeral directors provide direct cremation whilst also allowing packages such as viewing loved ones and knowing when the crem service will be - very unlike Pure cremation

I agree. Every culture and society on earth has placed importance on social rituals at the time of births, deaths, marriages and becoming an adult. That isn't an accident.

Bearing in mind you can have whatever form of service/commemoration you choose I'm surprised how many people think its a set form. The social coming together at a funeral often is a reunion of people who are there to remember their friend/relative and each other at the end of a life. That is part of the point of the ritual.

My mum has opted for a direct cremation, after consulting me to check I didn’t want a funeral (nope) and she had no other family to consider.
They'll deliver her ashes back to me and I’ll arrange for them to be interred with my Dad’s ashes per her wish

you can check if your own local crematorium does direct funerals

My local cream charges an Unattended Direct Cremation fee of £550. This covers the professional administration, environmental fees, the cremation itself, and a simple biodegradable container for the ashes

then ask a local undertakers to do the transportation, coffin and they'll need 4 people to move the coffin. The undertakers will charge for this service

you don't legally need to have a coffin but the deceased must be presented at the cram in a stiff ridged box and the body hidden from view whilst handling

In all honesty you'll probably get a much quicker cremation as most Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 8.30am are freely available - so it can be arranged and completed within 5 days - as long as you are swift getting the death certificate. You can pick up the ashes within 2/3 days. Then have the memorial service within 10 days of death with the ashes

far quicker than a standard funeral

tbh Id rather all my friends and family arranged to go to the pub and had a wake for me with the ashes sat nearby and they have a celebration of my life and share stories, have some music I liked playing in the background and then all go home after a decent feed and a few drinks

I can think of nothing worse than the very small number of my surviving family hanging about outside and then taking up half a dozen seats in a huge crematorium for a hollow ceremony. If there were a load of people going who would get together and chat about things and catch up with each other it would be different. I would prefer they get together for a few drinks and a cosy meal, which I think would be far more appropriate and enjoyable for them.

Sounds good.
We've chosen and paid for adjacent plots in a wildflower meadow burial ground. (Paid for with some money I inherited from an aunt - seemed appropriate - she'd probably have laughed) Don't want a big do. But not for some years yet, we hope. We like the idea of being recycled by the wildlife. Cremation is a waste of good resources, we reckon.

My dad used PC - it was exactly what he wanted. He hated the idea of a funeral and felt that they just put unnecessary stress and upset on the family.
When he died, they came within a couple of hours, were so polite and respectful, the call handlers dealt with virtually everything, bar the stuff that we had to do legally.
We were asked if we wanted to know the cremation date/time - my mum elected not to. The ashes were hand delivered to me a week after the cremation iirc. Couldn't fault them for service.
I know it's not for everyone - if you want the closure of a funeral then this wouldn't suit, but for my pragmatic, non religious dad, this was a really good option.

My father died a few years ago and had a direct cremation which happened with out a fuss
I collected his ashes and organised a memorial service in his village hall a few weeks later
it was great and well attended and as the lady who ran the village hall said a whole memorial service and eulogy without mentioning God once !

A relative just had one of these and as much as I hate funerals it's left me with a weird no closure sort of feeling and like I haven't really grieved. It was what they wanted though. Some friends and family were a bit weird about it too.
It was about £1300 with a local undertaker and we were told the place and time and could choose music to be played during the cremation.

I have officiated at many funerals, and I do believe that the pure cremation advertising is misleading. It glosses over the importance of symbolism and saying goodbye.

You can have a funeral service without having a lot of fuss, or expense.

You don’t need an officiant, either religious, or secular. You can invite people to gather at the crematorium, and you have a half hour slot to do whatever you want to do - play music, share memories, whatever. But you’re there, and you see the coffin disappear behind the curtains. For many people, that is important. And then, if you want, you go to the pub or the village hall, or back home, and continue sharing memories of the person.

The ashes will be returned to you afterwards, or disposed of if that’s what you prefer.

With a direct cremation, you CAN’T be present. You can still have the gathering in the pub, or the village home, or the home, if that’s what you want. But, for me, there would always be something missing.

There are some people for whom the direct cremation is the right choice. But I believe there are many who choose it without knowing what it really means, and without discussing it with their families. Remember, that funerals are really for the benefit of the living, not the dead.

I hope so, as myself and partner don't want the faff of a traditional funeral

I think it's about time we got the choice of body disposal, it's all tied up in religious beliefs from the past

DH died when DS was 13 and we just went down the traditional route as no choice back then. It was fucking traumatic and I wouldn't want to go through that again

Obviously I have told family of my wishes but with the caveat that if they felt they wanted to deal with it in a different way then that is fine as well

This is all very personal though isnt it
I found my mums funersl quite stressful i didnt know how i would react when i saw the coffin
It was a cathoilic funersl so she had a full requiem mass which was her choice and then we went to the crematorium so it was a long day
What is comforting to some people is stressful for others

Nobody apart from crem staff is present at the actual cremation whether you have the full service beforehand or not. You can have ashes back from a direct cremation if you want them, and it's not done en masse. Nor does anything stop you having a ceremonial gathering of whatever nature you want - at home, in a pub, in a hall, in a church, on top of a mountain, with prayers and speeches or without - it's just slightly more separated in time and venue from the cremation.

Yes it's body disposal. But so is any other method (apart from having the body stuffed and put in a display case, Bentham style, as PrettyLittleRose suggests).

My dad had a direct cremation. He died in the first month of Covid and we couldn’t have a funeral.

I find the advert with the jolly man in the bath rattling on about sausage rolls really quite unpleasant.