Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

“I wrote and gave the eulogy. We had loads of photos set to music and lovely readings.”

This is what I don’t like about funerals. I find them so performative.

What is a funeral if it's not disposing of a body. Surely, with or without all the pomp and frills, this is what it is.

They aren't false and theatrical if you don't want them to be. For my mum's we had a moving but modern service at the crematorium chapel, which was only itself built a few years ago. I wrote and gave the eulogy. We had loads of photos set to music and lovely readings. Nothing wrong with the direct cremation route though and there are certainly circumstances where that is more appropriate.

My Mum had a direct cremation, I was able to put a book & a blanket in with her & I did have the option to sit with the coffin whilst it was still at the funeral home which I didn’t do. Her ashes were returned to me. I was told precisely what to expect when I bought it.
We had a meal out a few weeks later with friends. We all came up with a memory & read them out. Family photos passed around, her friends seeing what she was like when she was little, her family & where she came from. There was a lot of laughter & joy.
She had specified cremation & where she wanted her ashes to go but not any ceremony. She used to throw amazing dinner parties, was a fantastic cook & to me, after a decade of dementia, it felt right that we remembered that side of her & had good friends, good food, good music & good memories.
As the only surviving close relative, I had been there at the end so I’d said my goodbyes. I’d had my closure.
Her friends were of an age when funerals were a regular occurrence, I’d attended so many on her behalf.
In your 80s, you’re more likely to die than live. We celebrated life.

Most people have a gathering separately to honour the memory of the deceased.
It is a 3 day turnaround in Ireland. It’s easier to deal with.

My husband wants this and everyone to just have a little reception at the local pub. We will play his favourite music and their will be photos of him during his life dotted around the place.

I think it will be much nicer than a proper funeral and be much more him.

What it says on the tin and you decide whether to have the tin urn at all.

I was there (at the funeral) for my gran as ahe stayed with him. Long story. We sat with her during the collection of info and afterwards made sure that all names of his children and grandchildren were removed from the speech. We did the best we could without making my gran feel even more shit.

As funeral’s take so long in England I can see why this is the sensible option.
I main part that I disagree with on cremation is the wasteful use of the coffin. They should use cardboard coffins. They were designed years ago but never took off.
My parents were cremated as DM was terrified of being buried for some reason. ATT you are in automatic mode, the coffins cost nearly €5000 each, We enquired about a burial plot for Dad but it over €5000 euro too, he didn’t get that wish, it’s expensive to die.

That is exactly what it is. They dont make any claims that its anything else

Yeah that's a bit baffling isn't it? Everyone knows what a pure cremation is surely...?

@FizzyColaBottle8
'At his funeral he was “a loving husband, father and grandfather”. '
So who spoke those words, and where did they get it from?
Maybe the closest family member wanted to remember him that way.
Otherwise, one can say something about the life without it being full of insincere praise.
ie he was born at ... grew up... went to school.. jobs, etc

You can pay extra to have their ashes sent to you my friend did it because she assumed she would die after her father sadly she didn't but because she chose a pretty place for them to scatter her, her father said keep it as she wanted i think honestly if I had no-one who would want to attend a funeral I would do that

Our local funeral directors were £500 less, for a direct cremation, than the ones on television. Basic coffin, hearse, four pallbearers. Choice of music for the coffin to be brought in to. Could have sent flowers but didn't. I got DH's ashes back two days later, then we had a funeral service a week later with an urn not a coffin. It was all handled beautifully.

To be honest, I personally think a funeral of some sort is important.
Of course, it is really only for the benefit of those friends and family left behind.
The deceased won't be there. (at least, not alive)
But it offers closure. It does not have to be formal.
When by late BIL died, we were asked to wear normal clothes and ideally colourful.
So someone (usually a close family member or friend) gives an eulogy, which is just really to say something about the deceased.

I hate funerals. I think they’re so false and theatrical. I’ve been to a few but this view was cemented when my grandad died. At his funeral he was “a loving husband, father and grandfather”. In reality he was an abusive cheat and a paedophile. His children hated him for what didn’t their kids and did not attend.

Direct cremation is much better. Less theatrics and an end to a life that’s over.

Well, a funeral is also "literally a body disposal service". Nobody is saying you can't have the exact same gathering, flowers, and speeches either before or after the cremation.

I want a great big funeral pyre with fireworks and all sorts of bling, and then when the will is read they'll find out they're not getting a penny. 😈

I wouldn’t use pure cremation, they are a brand, if I was choosing this I would choose a local funeral director who has facilities to store people. Pure cremation are not local companies so how and when do they collect people from they place of death to wherever they are stored nationally?
All local funeral directors will offer direct or unattended cremations, many cheaper than pure cremations.

I used them for my mum. No sibling wanted to chip in so I could only afford the cheapest option. You cannot go, which is a shame in the sense of a final goodbye. They send you the ashes. It was all very good and the cheapest option out there. It was during Covid so no one would have come to a funeral anyway.

My father died two weeks ago, and he's having a direct cremation. It was his and my mothers wish. she will have the same when her time comes. We've been assured that they read out the persons name and display a picture when the coffin goes into the cremation chamber, we know the date that it will be done, and we'll be given the ashes. But we absolutely cannot be there.

I have to admit, I'm absolutely heartbroken that there is no funeral, devastated in fact. My mother was with him when he died, my sister arrived not long after and before they took him away. So they got to say goodbye. I was on holiday, so couldn't get there. I've got no closure, My mother is having a little memorial for him the weekend after the cremation, but its just not the same for me. Its not for me to object and I'd never dream of telling my mother how I feel, because its the last thing she needs right now, but I'm truly devastated. I'd say to anyone thinking of doing this, please, please, ask your family how they feel first.

Arent all funerals just body disposal? And whether you want to have a ritual or ceremony around it is personal choice.

Direct cremation is clear that there is no service, so not sure why people are saying it's misleading.

I had a direct cremation disposal for my dad when he died in Nov 2016. I hadn't heard of it before he died but a friend told me and it sounded ideal.

It cost £1,294, I wasn't in attendance and the funeral directors chose the crematorium and the time of the cremation (and sent me a letter to confirm the details). They scattered his ashes there too.

As a family we were very unsentimental about death and also I was keen to avoid fuss and having to cater a sad event. I half-joked to the hospital where he died that if they could dispose of him via clinical waste that would be ideal, but sadly no. My dad would have loved to know his mortal remains were dispensed with with such efficiency. I'm not sure if they bothered putting him in some sort of coffin but I like to think it was a 'self-folding' cardboard one. Never seen a man happier than when he was telling me about the construction of some clever flat-pack box he'd discovered :-)

I can't remember the exact details but I vaguely recall that the fee for the cremation could be either paid for by or at least recovered from the estate, before probate was all sorted out.

This is the current page for The Good Funeral Guide on direct cremation https://goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-cremation/ and this is the Archived 2016 version, which incidentally lists Pure Cremation <a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20161121114132/www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-disposal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://web.archive.org/web/20161121114132/www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-disposal/

I went with our local funeral director, none of the ones on the page - ours matched the price of Empathy Funerals. I imagine with the increase in their popularity the price might (have) come down a bit.

Jo

There are some places that allow family members to be present for the cremation. Some even allow the family members to push the button to stay the cremation. Not super common but not unheard of. The actual process of cremation will just be with staff, as it does require the occasional checking in of the body to see how far along it's going.