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Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

358 replies

josephiine · 25/09/2026 13:22

The advert makes it sound like it’s a lovely thing and saves money. I get that it’s cheaper but surely that’s because it is literally a body disposal service?
My FIL has just planned his, he asked my husband if he minds which he doesn’t, but it got us talking, am I missing anything?

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Didimum · Yesterday 21:13

NoctuaAthene · Yesterday 16:00

I too feel a bit unsure of the marketing of direct cremation as being the kindest and most loving, most selfless thing you can do for your family, freeing them from the expense and hassle of arranging a funeral. I can see that for some it is that, particularly where there are specific circumstances that makes a traditional funeral not possible or desirable, but in my personal experience of losing loved ones, the funeral part has always been very important as part of the grieving process - rituals and social customs, coming together to share memories and condolences etc is a important part of dealing with death and loss. Personally I think tradition, however illogical is actually really important at these times, the cultures that seem to have the healthiest attitudes to death and loss are those that are highly ritualised, sitting shiva in Jewish custom for instance. I think we haven't really worked out what the equivalent is for modern western post-religious death rituals - I don't think just shipping the body off for efficient, eco friendly and respectful disposal hits the emotional mark somehow.

I know, I know, you can still arrange a memorial service with a direct cremation, just without the coffin/physical presence of the deceased, but in the experience of people I know, this is actually quite a lot harder and more stressful than arranging a traditional funeral. There are so many more questions to be answered - when do you hold it for instance, great to have the immediate pressure off to not have to arrange really quickly after the death, but then do you want 6 months? A year? A family I know are still deep in bickering over their father's memorial nearly 2 years on and no-one can move on. Plus with the best will in the world everyone is going to be a bit 🤔 about a funeral so long after he actually died. Then, where is the appropriate venue for a memorial event? If not religious then you're looking at a village hall, a pub, a hotel conference room? Maybe I'm just an old stick but all feel a bit not quite right to me somehow. Also, how much of a party is appropriate to make it Vs a formal event with speeches, often the deceased would say they'd prefer more of a celebration, relaxed feel etc but without the framework of a ceremony and celebrant it can all just feels a bit flat or disorganised with no focus or opportunity to come together, people will just usually sit and chat quietly to the people they came with IME. And if you're into the territory of booking a full room of people with a ceremony or party afterwards with food and drink you've basically had as much hassle and expense of a traditional funeral.

Basically, if your primary objective is to make things as easy as possible for those left behind, by all means opt for a direct cremation but please do also consider leaving money and crucially, totally clear instructions to your loved ones around what kind of memorial you want too. And personally I think the easiest and overall probably cheapest thing to achieve that is a traditional cremation so that's what I've put in my own letter of wishes to my family, along with detailed instructions about music, flowers etc so they shouldn't have to think too much!

Edited

It’s really nothing to do with you what plans people want to make for after their death or after the death of a loved one. Everything you’ve said is ‘me, me, me’. Your opinion only applies to you.

My dad had a pure cremation (attended by 9 people, plus a memorial service). It was what he wanted, what my mum wanted and what all of his children felt at peace with too. I paid for an arranged the whole thing. It was £2k and pretty stress-free. We have find memories of it.

What on earth has it got to do with you?

Didimum · Yesterday 21:06

No I wouldn’t class it as just ‘body disposals’. It’s more a simplistic cremation, and you do get the choice of how it goes. My dad wanted a pure cremation – you could do no frills, no attendance and just receive the ashes, or up to 9 people could attend for a simple service with 3x songs played. We did the latter. We then received the ashes in a proper container. It was certainly not ‘body disposal’.

Shinyhappyapple · Yesterday 21:02

Faceonthewrongfoot · 25/09/2026 13:45

See, this is why I always find it odd that the dead person decides what happens after their death, when they are not the ones who experience it. The funeral is surely for the living to remember them/mourn them/say their goodbyes. Once someone is dead, why do they care what their funeral looks like? I think people should leave a sum of money (if they have it) to cover the costs of any funeral, and leave the decisions to the remaining family to decide whether they want a big funeral, a quiet celebration, or nothing at all. (Appreciate that wouldn't be practical if families can't agree...)

My parents both paid for their funerals
up front. Mum had planned her service but dad hadn’t, possibly because he thought mum, who was 7 years younger, would k ow his wishes, but sadly she had advanced dementia by the time dad passed away. It was definitely easier organising mums as we
knew we had done exactly what she wanted,
rather than second guessing.

LowlandLucky · Yesterday 20:43

MissyB1 · 25/09/2026 16:29

Might have done for you (and im glad for you), but it traumatised me and my siblings, made the grieving process much harder.

Sorry to hear that. I struggled after my mothers funeral many years ago because i didn't like the way the minister handled it. about 10 years later i spoke to a Padre at a function and he invited me to his church a few days later and he and i sat in the church and he blessed myself, my family and my mum and prayed for us all, he basically sent her on her way, I felt so much better, I hope you find a way to gain some comfort,💐

Zfactorstar · Yesterday 20:33

SepiaSleep · Yesterday 16:22

Yes you do

The coffin is often just a coffin shaped cardboard box or a simple pine box.

Zfactorstar · Yesterday 20:30

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 12:39

I have been a funeral celebrant in my time and I have been given tours of crematoria. There are very strict protocols about cremations. Each body is accompanied by forms from the undertaker and hospital and GP as necessary. Each body is cremated one at a time and the ashes raked out and stored with details of the deceased. Even during the cremation a card with the details is placed in a slot on the machine so that the operators know which body is being cremated.

When my brother died in 2024, I held a funeral ceremony for him for the family and friends with his coffin in a beautiful setting. We had music, readings and speeches from his son, our mum and my brothers. It was lovely. Then the undertakers took his coffin to the crematorium where he was directly cremated the following morning. His ashes were collected by his son a few days later.

Funerals are for the living and there is nothing stopping families from have a ceremony, whether religious or not, and then a direct cremation afterwards.

Also a former death worker. I've worked retorts before. I've also come across this belief out in the wild before. Just so everyone knows, retorts cannot hold more than one person at a time. In fact a growing problem is that people have become so obese that some retorts cannot hold one person. The protocol that cremation entails is incredibly strict. It is illegal to cremate more than one person at a time, and someone who does is looking at serious jail time. I remember a particular case where a mother and child died in the same accident, and the family wanted them cremated together. We had to say no as it would break the law and we would be shut down.

clapalongnow · Yesterday 20:19

NoctuaAthene · Yesterday 16:00

I too feel a bit unsure of the marketing of direct cremation as being the kindest and most loving, most selfless thing you can do for your family, freeing them from the expense and hassle of arranging a funeral. I can see that for some it is that, particularly where there are specific circumstances that makes a traditional funeral not possible or desirable, but in my personal experience of losing loved ones, the funeral part has always been very important as part of the grieving process - rituals and social customs, coming together to share memories and condolences etc is a important part of dealing with death and loss. Personally I think tradition, however illogical is actually really important at these times, the cultures that seem to have the healthiest attitudes to death and loss are those that are highly ritualised, sitting shiva in Jewish custom for instance. I think we haven't really worked out what the equivalent is for modern western post-religious death rituals - I don't think just shipping the body off for efficient, eco friendly and respectful disposal hits the emotional mark somehow.

I know, I know, you can still arrange a memorial service with a direct cremation, just without the coffin/physical presence of the deceased, but in the experience of people I know, this is actually quite a lot harder and more stressful than arranging a traditional funeral. There are so many more questions to be answered - when do you hold it for instance, great to have the immediate pressure off to not have to arrange really quickly after the death, but then do you want 6 months? A year? A family I know are still deep in bickering over their father's memorial nearly 2 years on and no-one can move on. Plus with the best will in the world everyone is going to be a bit 🤔 about a funeral so long after he actually died. Then, where is the appropriate venue for a memorial event? If not religious then you're looking at a village hall, a pub, a hotel conference room? Maybe I'm just an old stick but all feel a bit not quite right to me somehow. Also, how much of a party is appropriate to make it Vs a formal event with speeches, often the deceased would say they'd prefer more of a celebration, relaxed feel etc but without the framework of a ceremony and celebrant it can all just feels a bit flat or disorganised with no focus or opportunity to come together, people will just usually sit and chat quietly to the people they came with IME. And if you're into the territory of booking a full room of people with a ceremony or party afterwards with food and drink you've basically had as much hassle and expense of a traditional funeral.

Basically, if your primary objective is to make things as easy as possible for those left behind, by all means opt for a direct cremation but please do also consider leaving money and crucially, totally clear instructions to your loved ones around what kind of memorial you want too. And personally I think the easiest and overall probably cheapest thing to achieve that is a traditional cremation so that's what I've put in my own letter of wishes to my family, along with detailed instructions about music, flowers etc so they shouldn't have to think too much!

Edited

I don’t think there is a right or wrong, just different options.

RaininSummer · Yesterday 19:59

I've chosen 'body disposal'. A regular cremation or burial is also body disposal but the family can be there to watch some of it. I'm happy with my choice though my family are aware that I won't haunt them if they do want to upgrade the disposal plan. I hope they will get together to have a mini wake type thing but only if they want to.

godmum56 · Yesterday 19:48

NoctuaAthene · Yesterday 16:00

I too feel a bit unsure of the marketing of direct cremation as being the kindest and most loving, most selfless thing you can do for your family, freeing them from the expense and hassle of arranging a funeral. I can see that for some it is that, particularly where there are specific circumstances that makes a traditional funeral not possible or desirable, but in my personal experience of losing loved ones, the funeral part has always been very important as part of the grieving process - rituals and social customs, coming together to share memories and condolences etc is a important part of dealing with death and loss. Personally I think tradition, however illogical is actually really important at these times, the cultures that seem to have the healthiest attitudes to death and loss are those that are highly ritualised, sitting shiva in Jewish custom for instance. I think we haven't really worked out what the equivalent is for modern western post-religious death rituals - I don't think just shipping the body off for efficient, eco friendly and respectful disposal hits the emotional mark somehow.

I know, I know, you can still arrange a memorial service with a direct cremation, just without the coffin/physical presence of the deceased, but in the experience of people I know, this is actually quite a lot harder and more stressful than arranging a traditional funeral. There are so many more questions to be answered - when do you hold it for instance, great to have the immediate pressure off to not have to arrange really quickly after the death, but then do you want 6 months? A year? A family I know are still deep in bickering over their father's memorial nearly 2 years on and no-one can move on. Plus with the best will in the world everyone is going to be a bit 🤔 about a funeral so long after he actually died. Then, where is the appropriate venue for a memorial event? If not religious then you're looking at a village hall, a pub, a hotel conference room? Maybe I'm just an old stick but all feel a bit not quite right to me somehow. Also, how much of a party is appropriate to make it Vs a formal event with speeches, often the deceased would say they'd prefer more of a celebration, relaxed feel etc but without the framework of a ceremony and celebrant it can all just feels a bit flat or disorganised with no focus or opportunity to come together, people will just usually sit and chat quietly to the people they came with IME. And if you're into the territory of booking a full room of people with a ceremony or party afterwards with food and drink you've basically had as much hassle and expense of a traditional funeral.

Basically, if your primary objective is to make things as easy as possible for those left behind, by all means opt for a direct cremation but please do also consider leaving money and crucially, totally clear instructions to your loved ones around what kind of memorial you want too. And personally I think the easiest and overall probably cheapest thing to achieve that is a traditional cremation so that's what I've put in my own letter of wishes to my family, along with detailed instructions about music, flowers etc so they shouldn't have to think too much!

Edited

I respect your opinion, but its just that your opinion and yes you have made that clear. I am not sure how you have judged what the "healthiest attitude" to death is?

Puzzledandpissedoff · Yesterday 17:30

DLRPmember · Yesterday 16:13

The Advertising Standards Authority upheld a complaint about advertising by Pure Cremation in June. They were found to have implied a funeral would be held as part of the plans they were selling.

https://www.asa.org.uk/rulings/pure-cremation-funeral-planning-ltd-g26-1325133-pure-cremation-funeral-planning-ltd.html

I admit to being surprised by this, DLRPmember, in that the ASA acknowledged every mention the company made of "no service at the time" and then found against them anyway

Then again the ASA is funded via a levy on advertisers themselves, so I wonder if there'd been pressure from "traditional" funeral directors who resented losing business

Puzzledandpissedoff · Yesterday 17:26

It’s good to be aware of the realities

I agree completely, @BamberGirl, and TBF there's nothing at all to stop people asking exactly what the arrangements will be for their loved ones ... except that many don't, instead just assuming the kind of things I mentioned and then blaming the funeral directors if it turns out things have been done some other way

BamberGirl · Yesterday 17:13

@Puzzledandpissedoff
Thanks…I didn’t know this but it does make sense.
I dont think it’s a problem, it just doesn’t sit with the cosy adverts.
personally I think the body is just a shell and I’ve no religious sentiments but I can see that not everyone would feel like this. It’s good to be aware of the realities.

DoraSpenlow · Yesterday 17:13

SepiaSleep · Yesterday 16:25

You don’t have to watch the coffin go behind the curtain anymore . They will do this after everyone has left the chapel of rest if you prefer .

See, I find walking out past the coffin extremely traumatic. I feel more like I'm leaving them behind. Much prefer the curtains closed. But then, there is no 'right' way. We each have to do what we have to do to get through it.

Personally I have never had closure through a traditional funeral and have chosen direct cremation for myself. No one has the trauma of having to attend and I would much rather everyone just goes to the pub and had a good time remembering me. Each to their own.

Puzzledandpissedoff · Yesterday 17:07

BamberGirl · Yesterday 15:39

700 bodies, not 200!

And I don’t mean that they would be doing anything untoward it’s just the scale of it that doesn’t sit well (with me).

https://www.yorkmix.com/company-defends-700-body-mortuary-plan-for-york-slammed-as-absolutely-appalling/

I hope you're aware that, as in the application below, the CoOp and other large funeral chains also use regional "mortuary hubs" where the deceased are kept in industrial size units and transported back to the local branches for viewing and on the day of the funeral (if any)?

There seems to be an impression that the loved ones will be "resting in the room at the back" so people can "just pop in to see them", and while that may happen with smaller companies it's by no means universal, especially when the cost of suitable equipment's become so high

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/mortuary-hub-plymouth-trading-estate-4934903

Mortuary hub on Plympton trading estate 'disrespectful to dead'

Co-op Funeralcare is asking for permission to change the use of the building on Cot Hill Trading Estate at Plympton

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/mortuary-hub-plymouth-trading-estate-4934903

Notonmyland · Yesterday 16:53

I think it's a fair swap to use some of the money that you'd waste on all that frippery for a funeral, on a celebration of the person.
I've been to enough funerals.

Funerals are incredibly expensive.

pigmygoatsinjumpers · Yesterday 16:29

SepiaSleep · Yesterday 16:22

Yes you do

No you don't need a coffin, at least not a traditional coffin. It depends on the individual funeral company's policies and options. My husband was not cremated in a coffin.

There is in any case, no legal mandate for a coffin. A coffin can be made of cardboard, wicker, willow, a wooden box, or a fabric shroud or a felt "pod" in a natural burial ground.

See also: https://washingtoncelebrationoflife.co.uk/funeral-without-coffin-uk-guide/

SepiaSleep · Yesterday 16:25

Hadalifeonce · Yesterday 15:21

MiL had this. When we got her ashes back, we had a small family gathering to celebrate her life. It was beautiful, without having to go through the ordeal of watching the curtains close around the coffin.

You don’t have to watch the coffin go behind the curtain anymore . They will do this after everyone has left the chapel of rest if you prefer .

SepiaSleep · Yesterday 16:22

CuteHANDBAG · Yesterday 15:16

I assume that for a direct crem you don’t need a coffin? Is that right?

Yes you do

pigmygoatsinjumpers · Yesterday 16:22

XenoBitch · Yesterday 15:21

They always use a coffin.

Not always. Unless you are referring only to a specific company.

pigmygoatsinjumpers · Yesterday 16:17

CuteHANDBAG · Yesterday 15:16

I assume that for a direct crem you don’t need a coffin? Is that right?

My husband's direct cremation undertaken by a local, long-established family funeral directors who have a private crematorium in the grounds of their woodland burial site did not require a wooden or wicker coffin. I was told that a biodegradable "shell" is used. I didn't go into further details but I assume this was a rigid, combustible container constructed of cardboard. I did not feel uncomfortable with this.

This is an interesting article

Funeral Without a Coffin — Your Options Explained

https://washingtoncelebrationoflife.co.uk/funeral-without-coffin-uk-guide/

DLRPmember · Yesterday 16:13

The Advertising Standards Authority upheld a complaint about advertising by Pure Cremation in June. They were found to have implied a funeral would be held as part of the plans they were selling.

https://www.asa.org.uk/rulings/pure-cremation-funeral-planning-ltd-g26-1325133-pure-cremation-funeral-planning-ltd.html

NoctuaAthene · Yesterday 16:00

I too feel a bit unsure of the marketing of direct cremation as being the kindest and most loving, most selfless thing you can do for your family, freeing them from the expense and hassle of arranging a funeral. I can see that for some it is that, particularly where there are specific circumstances that makes a traditional funeral not possible or desirable, but in my personal experience of losing loved ones, the funeral part has always been very important as part of the grieving process - rituals and social customs, coming together to share memories and condolences etc is a important part of dealing with death and loss. Personally I think tradition, however illogical is actually really important at these times, the cultures that seem to have the healthiest attitudes to death and loss are those that are highly ritualised, sitting shiva in Jewish custom for instance. I think we haven't really worked out what the equivalent is for modern western post-religious death rituals - I don't think just shipping the body off for efficient, eco friendly and respectful disposal hits the emotional mark somehow.

I know, I know, you can still arrange a memorial service with a direct cremation, just without the coffin/physical presence of the deceased, but in the experience of people I know, this is actually quite a lot harder and more stressful than arranging a traditional funeral. There are so many more questions to be answered - when do you hold it for instance, great to have the immediate pressure off to not have to arrange really quickly after the death, but then do you want 6 months? A year? A family I know are still deep in bickering over their father's memorial nearly 2 years on and no-one can move on. Plus with the best will in the world everyone is going to be a bit 🤔 about a funeral so long after he actually died. Then, where is the appropriate venue for a memorial event? If not religious then you're looking at a village hall, a pub, a hotel conference room? Maybe I'm just an old stick but all feel a bit not quite right to me somehow. Also, how much of a party is appropriate to make it Vs a formal event with speeches, often the deceased would say they'd prefer more of a celebration, relaxed feel etc but without the framework of a ceremony and celebrant it can all just feels a bit flat or disorganised with no focus or opportunity to come together, people will just usually sit and chat quietly to the people they came with IME. And if you're into the territory of booking a full room of people with a ceremony or party afterwards with food and drink you've basically had as much hassle and expense of a traditional funeral.

Basically, if your primary objective is to make things as easy as possible for those left behind, by all means opt for a direct cremation but please do also consider leaving money and crucially, totally clear instructions to your loved ones around what kind of memorial you want too. And personally I think the easiest and overall probably cheapest thing to achieve that is a traditional cremation so that's what I've put in my own letter of wishes to my family, along with detailed instructions about music, flowers etc so they shouldn't have to think too much!

Missey85 · Yesterday 15:38

My father had this done in Australia and my aunt's took his ashes back to England and put them in the ocean like he wanted done with them 🙂 he said he'd come and haunt us if we buried him in the ground

Viviennemary · Yesterday 15:32

Not sure I like the idea myself.

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