AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

No it isn’t. He was in hospital for three months - no income, no obligation to pay. The CMS took six months to work out what he needed to pay - they are the only reasons he is in arrears. Six months arrears. Paid off at £300 a month. The ignorance is staggering.

What’s irrelevant ? The facts ? He’s not trying to sidestep his responsibility. If you read the updates he misread his payslip and panicked. If anything his ex has made her kids poorer - he was paying £600 before she went to CMS, now it’s £450. And if you think the CMS have no powers to make life difficult, think again. They can empty your bank account in one hit to pay back arrears as long as they leave £55 in the account. And they don’t need a court order to do it. They’ve already put this man six months in arrears simply because of the time they took to work out what he needed to pay.

Irrelevant that he was sectioned? How on earth is it irrelevant? He had no income.

In order to get arrears he will have not paid when he should have. Arrears do not build when unemployed or not earning. Therefore, he has dodged his responsibilities. That’s a fact.

But you've stated out and out lies, that's not an 'opinion', it's just lies.

Exactly another ‘dad’ trying to dodge paying for the kids he chose to have

The OP is an enabler who is enabling her lazy son

I find the child maintenance service baffling , my daughter was awarded 🤣£25 per week for each of her children , he stopped paying after a few years and like many women she gave up and struggled for years to provide for the children and would not have coped if we her parents had not funded a lot of expenses for her! So frustrating I think he just copped out of being a parent . Yet here is dad who wants to pay but still afford to live , the system needs overhauling!

If by gullible you mean I prefer to believe that OP’s have the right to be believed until the evidence presents itself that they’re not genuine, then yes absolutely. Otherwise what is the point of MN. If we don’t have faith in what the OP is telling us then we’re just shouting into the void. But here, because the OP hasn’t said things in exactly the way posters want and has updated to put things into perspective and a time line, the assumption is she must have been lying to start with. It’s batshit. MN used to be supportive. Not any more. Threads like these attract so many posters whose only intention is to put the boot in. Something very prevalent here if you care to look.

CMS are very fair, more so the the absent parent that the resident. If they take too much you can apply and they refund, he needs to be reassessed and they don't generally continue payments during periods out of work. Either he is lying or has not given them all the information and they are estimating. He needs to co.operative fully and pay for his children his ex wife's earnings are none of your business and are not relevant. Also she has probably been advised not to let him see the children if he is mentally unwell. If you want to help you could try to facilitate joint contact with you them and him then she will feel more assured of their safety. The CMS and his ex are prioritising the children you need to stop thinking they are out to get him tbh and start actually helping.

Once again, if you click 'see all' on OPs post you'll get all the information you need. You've somehow managed to post with the wrong information.

that’s irrelevant. the cms are for once doing their job. It’s hardly like they are leaving a man financially ruined it’s around £100 a week he’s contributing to 2 or 3 children.

That’s what I’m doing but unfortunately you are trying to police peoples opinions and tell them what they can and can’t write. The ‘facts’ do not change my opinion and you need to accept that and stop harassing everyone who posts something you don’t agree with on every thread

I have absolutely no problem with your opinion or that of anyone else if it’s based on the facts that OP has given. It’s a public forum - have at it, express your opinion freely. Isn’t that what it’s for ? But please, read the updates and don’t make things up in place of facts.

How do you know what is ‘fact’? Has no one told you not to believe everything you read online? Or are you just gullible?

Explain to me how he should have supported his children while sectioned and in hospital for three months. As soon as he got his job back he offered to pay his ex and she refused because she had gone to CMS in the meantime. It took six months for CMS to work out and advise his payments. Where is the refusal to support his children ?

What? My opinion? Apparently that’s something not allowed these days 🤣

Well this is one of the very few times I’ve actually seen cms do their job.
im sorry your son is struggling but this is the result of him not financially supporting his children when he should have.

That’s really good considering your own contribution to this thread. You’ve described OP as an enabler to a ‘lazy’ son - a son whose MH problems led him to a serious suicide attempt and sectioning under the MH Act. At least I have a grasp of the facts.

Not my fault if you haven’t read the updates before posting. OP clearly stated that DS needs accommodation before he’s allowed overnights with his kids. That doesn’t mean access is completely denied. MN isn’t my ‘full time job’ thanks. I have an interest because many of the issues are directly related to my profession.

youre right, that poster is exhausting on all threads

Nah that poster seems to think they can police what we say on a forum. The OP is an enabler who is enabling her lazy son and for
some reason people are offended for her!

Why are you talking as if the other parent has no income? There are benefits for people who may need to feed, cloth, provide heat and housing for their children if they are not working.

It is if you’ve read the updates.

Setting parameters before allowing overnight access. OP was clear. Unless he has his own accommodation he can’t have overnight access. That doesn’t mean he can’t have access at all. And once again, we have no idea why the ex withheld access. I’m trying to look at the facts as OP has presented them instead of doubting everything she says in favour of blind conjecture. The biggest problem on this thread is the fact that so many posters are commenting without reading the updates. It’s one of the most comprehensively derailed threads I’ve seen on MN. And it appears that the OP has been successfully chased from it. Happens a lot. Not exactly helpful.