AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

@CandyCrushLevel14809 I knew it would be something like this. A family member went through something similar. He still contributes more but kids are old enough for their own bank accounts. So he will CMS what is needed and then give more directly to kids + purchase trainers / clothes / pay school trips - whatever the child says they need.

Correct, my brother is always away for his work so he pays in full (kids are older now 12, 14, 16 and 18) so he sees them when they aren't busy with friends etc- so its based on not very many overnights. He takes them away with him and has them over loads and they spend nearly every weekend on days out or hanging at home with him but rarely stay over as they like going home.

Indeed. "That'll show HER" right?

Actually, it doesn't matter if she's desperate or not, they're his bloody kids. CMS will not make him pay for a child that isn't his so they don't need challenging.

Men who leave their families and fight against paying a fair share towards their kids make me puke

The issue seems to be the rate at which he's paying his arrears off.

My ex built up arrears of £22, 000.
He is repaying at £100 a month, despite earning 4-5 times what I do, as ordered by CMS.

£1,000 sounds a lot.
Would the ex be amenable to a reduced repayment rate, for a longer period?

This - and make sure he's submited pay slips and any supporting documents to them.

I suspect something has gone wrong with calculation somewhere working on incorrect information - as most women I know get a pittance.

So did he stop making the voluntary payments when she went through CMS because she was money grabbing? Surely only the children were disadvantaged by that.

I don't understand how he can have £9k of arrears if he was making payments up to December. Even if the £700pm is correct that's over a year's worth of non payment?

I think you can get a reduction from looking online if he is facing financial hardship! The prices are ridiculous- my brothers ex wife is on benefits as she refuses to work and is having her entire rent paid for- he gives the kids money every weekend as well as she doesn't use the child maintenance on them but rather buys her new boyfriends weed. So she is sitting on about 4k per month money for doing nothing as UC doesn't take into account Child Maintenance. My brother is well off so isn't struggling, but the whole system seems to be a pisstake.

How is a roof over his head - mandated by a social worker for access to his children - a luxury ? Could you manage on £500 a month ?

They don’t just take from wages for no reason

If it was a 50/50 split wouldn't CMS be no payment either way?

PP says her brother pays £1400 for 4 children - I presume this is a CMS calculation (otherwise the post is irrelevant) so either it's not a 50/50 split or the parents don't have a good co-parenting relationship and have gone through CMS, thus unlikely the brother is paying additional.

Maybe I'm entirely wrong. I hope so.

My SiL went to CMS and actually ended up with significantly less than the voluntary payments her ex was making. He paid the CMS and contributed additionally to household expenses to make sure the kids had what they needed. It was a money grabbing exercise on her part that backfired badly. I don’t think it’s an isolated incident somehow.

Was just about to say probably the fastest way to get this sorted is via the local MP. Something is clearly not right and if he has had time off work unpaid for MH problems clearly CMS are not aware of this or they wouldn’t be calculating back pay across a period when he hasn’t earned.

Fair point, but if you were supporting your children over and above what CMS advise, why would you even go through CMS? Usually people only go through CMS to enforce financial support when a private agreement can't be reached.

I agree the numbers don't add up. Does he have other debts that he's also paying off and just calls it CM to get your sympathy and understanding?

But having been in a very similar situation with DH, once the CM is calculated it's really hard to change the payments. (Not getting into details as irrelevant here.) I assume the backlog is for the time he's been ill - there should be some leverage there. He needs to appeal.

It’s supposed to be a 50/50 split between the parents. ‘So little’ in this case works out at nearly £3000 a month to look after 4 children. The idea is to support the children not to fleece the father because he’s a high earner. You have no idea what else he may be contributing on top of CMS.

CMS is notorious for making errors

Parents pushed to breaking point by Child Maintenance Service, BBC told - BBC News

for resident parents and for NRPs

My husband was told he needed to pay £600 a month for one child because they thought he had two jobs at once. They also calculated arrears that were incorrect it took nearly a year to sort out.

Speak to CAB and write to your MP that's how we sorted it in the end.

Of course he should contact them again? And if he's been employed rather than self employed he will have all the evidence - payslips, P60 and bank statements.

That’s just CMS. What do you know about any other contributions outside of this to make that statement?

He’ll be under a mental health team at the hospital so soon after a serious suicide attempt. He has a duty to support his children but the summary deduction from wages without taking account of the current circumstances and the effects on him isn’t on.

There are calculators online that will show what he should be paying. The figures or facts do not stack up. He needs to push hard with CMS to sort this. You are correct that he cannot afford to house and feed himself on £500, but something is incorrect somewhere. How can he owe £9k if he has been out of work for a large period? Unless this is an old debt from when he was working but not paying?

His children (that HE also created) need food, clothing and housing so it is his responsibility to ensure he pays an adequate amount. The financial obligation of children does not fall to the primary parent, almost always the mother. Men really need to think of this before procreating.

Get him to check asap, he shouldn't be paying for his ex's child.

If you use the cms calculator for 2 children, he should be paying £372 a month on £28000 and not having any overnight contact,