AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

The calculation doesn’t seem to be making sense, my ex earns around that net. And when he had zero contact it was only around £300isj for two kids. Where have they got £700 from?

Cancel the cheque!🙄

(In other words, people, read all of OP's posts.)

CMS dont do balloon payments you can offer to pay more than minimum or make a one off payment but they wont take payment that big my ex owed thousands at one point it took them months to get an attachment of earnings then they took their minimum plus fees plus a small amount towards the arrears

A basic calculation would be around £167 per week after allowable deductions. Obviously that depends on circumstances - whether there is shared care etc. The fact that you have a shared child living at home with you is relevant - his weekly income would be reduced by 11% before the calculation is made to account for that.

That’s embarrassing. Imagine putting that online.
Your brother should be ashamed of himself.

seasoned user of the CMS here - For them to have taken such a large amount of money in one go, he will have to have been dodging payments for YEARS. It takes years upon years to get the CMS to take that kind of action, if they ever do! I’m 11 years in and they STILL won’t take this kind of action against my ex.

Either that or he is lying through his teeth about the amounts

@ThisUmberSwan You are talking about a mentally ill man with dyslexia (that makes reading hard in case you didn't know)

Fun fact dyslexia is often worse when someone is under stress, such as a suicidal person might be.

Money is stressful. At no point did OP say her son wanted to get out of paying what he owed.

Yes this sounds like a right old minestrone of bits, pieces, and misunderstandings.
The plain ££ facts will surely indicate a clear path for him now (and necessarily leaving aside the eldest child, who’s not his own, as there is no room for his sentimental attachment at this juncture, and a very clear picture of responsibilities is essential)

[You haven’t spelled it out, naturally, but the circs which brought on his psychological crisis were not necessarily to do with child support payments, or his treatment by his ex, etc.
Yet a leap to linking all these matters is invited, as it stands, and I’d counsel against leaving any such impression with whatever advisers you all meet with. ]

This. You were arguing the toss that the figures absolutely were right when people were telling you they couldn’t be.

what a disingenuous thread.

Kids don’t just stop needing food or shoes because you need to buy a car. He should have carried on the payments at the start of the year.

CMS calculate what is owed from when the other parent submits the claim. It sounds like they had their own arrangement in place, he stopped paying so she has gone to CMS.

Did he really think you can just stop paying and you get a free pass for those months

So he didn’t look at the bottom right and see net pay: £xxxx and think oh that’s what’s coming in or better yet he could have sent it to you the functioning adult and you could have told him this before all of this hassle. It sounds to me as though he doesn’t want to work because what kind of human would sit there and think oh the first thing I need to do to get out of paying is quit my job and rely on benefits this is waaaay to much this. Something fishy

I would imagine he stopped paying after he attempted suicide and was sectioned. Is that a good enough reason for the backlog?

He owes 9000 in vack pay cms? How did it get so much?

What a ridiculous comment. As the resident parent she would be getting child benefit and claiming child related additions to UC if not working or having wages topped up. He was mentally unwell, hospitalised, sectioned and had no income. What would you have liked him to do ?

At the end of the day he needs to pay for his children regardless of what their mother is earning it is his shared responsibility.

secondly I don’t personally understand the figures as my partner pays £100 a week for 3 children and then £50 for our daughter although we are still together and he pays for other bits and bobs for them all like clothing, shoes, school trips, the fun stuff but also has them overnight he just gives the weekly to support in which ever way he can. And he earns around £800-900 per week after tax I think I’m not sure I’ve never bene nosey enough to ask or want to know because we are all looked after by him and I work. So I would go back through CMS calculator and see.

@Wokeuptired
We all posted that your figures were totally wrong and you said that you had seen the paperwork and continued saying it was right. Now you’re saying exactly what we all said it would be (even the amounts are what we said they would be). So… you didn’t actually see the paperwork before then, did you? But you argued with the advice you were being given? Waste of everyone’s time.

@KL29 Well if he had killed himself she would have had no choice. What a dazzlingly stupid thing to comment.
It is the best interests of everyone that the NRP is mentally healthy and able to continue contributing. If the resident parent was mentally ill and unable to work they could expect support from the state in order to feed the children.

Which is exactly what CMS would do. They consider the benefits claimed and calculate the percentage payable as child support. And having cancer is no guarantee that you will qualify for disability benefits. It’s automatically classed as a disability under the Equality Act 2010 but it does not automatically qualify someone for disability benefits unless they are terminally ill with less than a year life expectancy.

It's the last fucking paragraph in the post you quoted.

People not reading the thread annoys me, but not even reading the post they're replying to is beyond belief.

So was she just not meant to feed the children until he was well enough to pay?

Am glad you've been able to go and support your son. This sounds an absolutely dire situation and I hope it gets resolved soon for your son, especially over withheld custody. Hopefully CMS will listen to what has happened and make suitable adjustments.
Whilst there's always 2 sides to a story, your son's ex sounds a nasty piece of work. Your son also sounds like he's been very generous with his support towards his children.

What are you talking about ? Have either of you read my post properly because it appears not. He was making a voluntary contribution to his ex at a higher rate than CMS. She thought she would get more via CMS and she was wrong. It was substantially less. I said quite clearly that he pays the CMS order as it stands AND makes the voluntary contribution to the household to make sure the kids have what they need. Where is the ‘that’ll show HER’ here ?

As people have mentioned, your DS and you need to take a breath (may be easier said than done):

1. Gather all the documents and try to get a coherent story what happened since the split
2. Go to Citizen Advice or something similar and ask for help to calculate the proper amount and what help is available

No need to panic, this country has so many safeguards in place that they can put you in jail or kill you for debts etc.

1. Once you have the final calculation, contact CMS and if they can't back up their claims, use your MP to get them to do their job.

And you would have been entitled to benefits due to being unable to work and due to disability which you could use to pay for your children's essential expenses?