To not take less money from DS.

OP he is selfish and inconsiderate, allowed to get away with paying this pittance for far too long. You have been too soft! Show him your expenses written down. Give him an ultimatum

He needs to pay you more, not less! If he moans then maybe show him how much your household bills are, and how much it would cost him to live elsewhere.

I think your son needs a wake up call! I gave my mum £10 a week when I got my first job at 16 and was earning £50 a week! This was in 1987! Maybe sit down with him and show him your budget with incoming and outgoings so he actually understands how much you're paying out in food and bills - then ask him if he thinks his £40 a month is a reasonable contribution? If he's not getting enough hours at his part time job, he needs to be proactive and look for another 🤷‍♀️

He needs to start paying you a fixed amount each month. Your council tax will increase- he needs to cover that. Food and bills too. Even if he has a bad month he will still be eating. I would say 400 a month is very reasonable, for now. The months he is getting 1500 he should be keeping some back for the leaner months. Better still get a job with a fixed amount each month

My son pays a quarter of his wages, up to £450 a month. So if it's a low hours month, it is reflected. He's only on about minimum wage, having also done resits from having shingles during final exam. We do still pay for his phone, transport, food, etc.

He sounds incredibly selfish
Is he at least doing his own chores around the house? doing his own laundry etc?
And yes he should be paying more 200 pm would be fine to start

I would tell him he pays (at least) £50 pw or finds somewhere else to live. I did this with mine once they left education, whether they were working or not...time to live in the real world.

I’d be asking him for £200 per month. When he is full time I’d ask for £400 per month. It doesn’t matter what his girlfriend’s arrangement is with her parents. Everyone’s financial situation is different. If he says it’s too much then ask him to look into renting! He will soon be quiet!

Op my son is an apprentice. He pays me £100 a week. Half of that is being saved for a house deposit.
Your lad has got a very good deal....if he doesn't like it let him find somewhere to rent.
He will soon realise how expensive things really are.

I say to him that yup, you completely understand that he would like more money - we all would - and there are only two solutions (a) earn more and (b) spend less. Explain that’s adult life and he needs to work out how to make do with what he earns, what of his expenditure does he really value, do a budget, etc, get a higher paying job, and pass those uni exams so he has greater earning potential. You don’t need to be aggressive about it, I’d just be very matter of fact. Maybe talk him through your own budget and say that’s what he’ll for grown up independent life.

We'd all like more money to spend on ourselves. If he wants more money he'll have to earn more like the rest of us

Hes not barely managing because hes not actually paying his basic living costs, you are. Even if he earnt nothing he'd be "managing", he doesnt have any bills. £40 a month is a pisstake and to then complain he doesnt have any money!

You are doing him no favours by being this soft.
I would list out all your costs and bills, show him your earnings so he can see what everything is costing. Then ask him for a fair share. He needs to move his mindset from game playing and dependent child to "adulting".

That surely doesn’t even cover the extra 25% council tax you have to pay as he’s another adult in the house so you won’t be getting the single person discount. Did you get the discount still if you have an adult still in education, or have you been having to pay the full amount throughout?

£40 a month is an absolute piss take, he should at least be covering his food bill!

£10 a week is outrageous, I'm amazing he isn't embarrassed!

Bloody hell op, he is taking the total piss and you are letting him. He pays a more realistic amount or he leaves. Bet he doesn’t..

Young people are hilarious/ridiculous - he cannot survive on £600 per month 😃.
You might want to agree that increase before this long summer breaks and he starts turning the heating on.
YANBU at all.

Well he could take his ten pounds a week offering to his gfs parents and ask them if they would mind him moving in as well! Let us know what they say when they stop laughing.

He is taking the piss OP, you know it and he certainly knows it. You might not want to charge him actual rent ( though I personally would) but at the very least you need to work out his share of the council tax, utilities, internet, food, even items like washing powder, toilet paper and other consumables and do a 50/ 50 split. If he has left over money then that is when he puts money in his savings , buys his snacks, pays for nights out, transport, clothes etc. He is an adult not a kid doing a paper round and washing neighbours cars for pocket money.

OP he should be paying at least £300 a month, and help with chores. £40 is an insult!

You are undercharging him if anything. If he wants more money he can stop the expensive snacks and the shopping. Tell him to look into the cost of a house share if he does not like it.

Yanbu, he's an adult who needs to cover the majority of his own costs. If you were very wealthy and wanted to cover it for him then fine, but you're not so he should be paying his way.

He's complaining but is he actually suggesting he should stop paying you?

Where did £40 a month come from? It covers nothing! Is it even half your council tax bill? I'd like you to raise it to something more reasonable so he needs to budget.

Ideally have a chat about the cost of running the house. I'd frame it as asking him to help you budget because you need to cut back somewhere and maybe he can suggest where (clue - all his expenses!).

He's an adult , he's finished education and needs to start paying a reasonable amount. The increase in council tax alone with be a significant.