To keep my three nephews up all night?

Fundamentally, the children's mother knows her children, knows her sister, and knows and is happy with, the plan.

So while this thread has been an interesting read, none of the advice from others (and from the friend who is the subject of the OP) is needed.

She knows those kids. Their mother knows those kids. You don't. So it's a bit ironic that your criticising her for thinking she knows everything. She knows more about those particular kids than you do.

The screaming comes from overtiredness which leads to an inability to fall asleep which creates distress. It's not boredom, or not being allowed to do what they please, it is physical and mental distress caused by being too tired and not being supported to fall asleep. Falling asleep doesn't come naturally to all young children. I don't know how long you've been doing this with your older nephew but for my two they would have grown out of it by 5 or 6 anyway. It sounds like you think you know everything anyway so why not just crack on?

I wouldn’t do it for the small ones, just because I don’t think there’s any benefit. Babies and toddlers don’t really just keep on having fun until they fall asleep where they’re sitting. My experience is they just get continuously crankier and there’s a point where they’re so overtired and miserable that they can’t actually get to sleep, and when they do sleep it’s patchy and disrupted. I don’t really understand why you’d do that, it’s not fun or easy for anyone. Far better to have some fun and a nice bedtime for them, then go back to the oldest once they’re down.

I’d have no issue with it for the older one.

They’re not having an all-nighter, she’s allowing them to fall asleep together rather than putting them to bed. As a treat, as a one off, literally one night.
One late night does not make feral children.
Strict routines make children unable to deal with change and unfortunately change happens, children need to learn to adapt. By not having this life skill causes no end of problems for them in the future.

'It is not surprising that there are children out there who can’t cope with the slightest change to their routine due to the parents managing every single minute'

It isnt about managing every single minute it's about using some common sense which many sadly do not have.

3 kids under 6 don't need all nighters to have fun. 'It's not surprising' there's so many feral kids kicking about.

I think it is ok to let them fall asleep when they like but I wouldn't be giving a just turned 2 year old sugar late in the hope you can trick their bodies into staying up longer than they can physically cope with and once the 2 YO is asleep you need to make sure they are undisturbed by the older sibling and have somewhere they can sleep peacefully. I doubt the 2YO will sleep in like the older one did so you need to be prepared for an early start with a baby and crabby toddler or being up all night with an overtired toddler. If this is your first time looking after all three and a fairly young baby I would be making my life easier by putting the younger two to bed on time. You are likely to be up through the night with the baby regardless of what you do.

She's not forcing them to stay up all night, for goodness sake! She's offering them a night of fun without a strict bedtime. Of course they're going to fall asleep when they're ready to.

When I was an auntie on babysitting / sleepover duty I used to get them into bed by saying “oooh let’s all get into bed for a story and ice cream”

One of these poor ill treated and neglected mites has a PhD now, the other runs a successful entrepreneurial business aged 27 so thankfully the rehab was successful.

Your grandchildren. Not children.

I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with my nieces and nephews after being up all night and yes it turns them into little shits. I love them and adore them but I’ll never unleash that onto my siblings!! You can have fun with them without forcing them to stay up all night.

Oh go for it. I used to stay at my grandparents house every Friday night when I was small and they always let me stay up late, I loved it and felt so grown up! This thread is just so Mumsnet. In the normal world, people do this sort of thing without questioning it.

It will mean a few miserable days for the parents?

The hyperbole on this thread is ridiculous.

When my kids were actual babies, I was all about routines. But once sleeping is established and they're approaching toddlerhood, the kindest thing you can do for your kids and yourself, is to introduce flexibility, so that they learn to feel secure in different situations.

Having people other than your parents who love you unconditionally, bring joy to your life, and who you feel safe with, is a gift for small children. As I said in an earlier post, watching my grandkids with their fun auntie and uncle, brings me real joy. I never had that kind of relationship in my childhood. OP's niblings and my DGDs are SO lucky.

Yeah, no. I babysit a lot for family and would never ever do this unless given express permission. Even then I’d feel awful. It won’t ruin their lives but it will mean a few miserable days for their parents.

I totally agree, what started as a thread with an auntie letting her nephews have a nice night has descended into social service involvement, children not coping with 1 late night and feckless parents abandoning their children.
It is not surprising that there are children out there who can’t cope with the slightest change to their routine due to the parents managing every single minute and parents playing the martyr and thinking they are better parents than everyone else by not leaving their children for one night.

Very young kids do better with sleep. If they were older, 9 etc great. 6 and under nope.

Treat them during the day. They don't need all nighters at that age.

It’s this kind of attitude that explains to me why there are so many miserable people on MN complaining that their marriages/ relationships are going down the pan. If they were a little less uptight about controlling and overseeing every aspect of the little darlings’ lives, and a little more willing to have a bit of unstructured fun with their partners, everyone might be a lot happier.

You sound fab. They will absolutely love it.

My two girls still talk about the nights spent at my sisters house when they would stay up late and then in the morning go out on a dog walk with their uncle and have chocolate and coke for breakfast!!!! They would come home filthy (I don't think they ever washed or brushed their teeth when they had an overnight stay at my sisters), exhausted but having had a lovely time.

And before the moaners call social services on me - they are now in their mid twenties and very rounded nice human beings! The odd night of no rules at their aunt and uncle's house didn't do them any harm!

@Upfiner good on you, your sister is blessed that her children have such a fun and willing aunty!
And omg, the uptight parenting on here!

I have lots of experience in bringing up young children, and on a professional level, in child development. And I love OP's plan. This is what fun aunties should be about

I do very similar with my DGDs of 3 and 6, as does their auntie, and it goes fine. OP sounds relaxed and flexible, so if the two year old falls asleep fifteen minutes in, it won't be an issue. She'll still have loved the build up.

Sounds fab OP, lucky boys. And lucky parents!

Mine are adults now but I’ve never understood this obsession with very early bedtimes for kids regardless or what’s going on.

Mine had a vague bedtime routine usually but if there were parties or holidays then we kept them up and included them. I don’t think they ever missed a Ny Eve party …. from baby stage.

As for those nut jobs that go on holiday, put their kids to bed at 7pm and sit in the darkness or in the bathroom … why bother going away 🤷🏼‍♀️

You sound like my brother. He can only have 1 nephew at a time (his place is tiny) but he and his partner drag the duvets off the beds, put their chairs into reclining positions and let the children go nuts on their switch 2/PS5 or whatever is the newest gaming thing they have.
Sounds like fun! Go for it!

I think it’s pretty selfish to take the easy route in the evening, by letting them stay up late, thereby ensuring that their parents have a crap day with them because they’re tired. I suspect you wouldn’t be such a “cool auntie” if you were looking after them the whole of Sunday…..

Nobody's claiming that. I was just countering the assertion that the OP's plans suggested that social services would be involved with the family.

I think you'll find about 20 mins into the film they will be bored and hyper both at the same time and will be playfighting on the floor not watching it.

Kids that age dont really watch a full feature length film and actually at that age they are still a bit too young to properly understand the concept of movies like toy story really so it doesnt hold their attention the same way.

I think you'll find what you actually think of as a 'big treat' they won't actually like that much and they'll be ask to just watch bluey.

It would have actually been way lovelier for them to have a big bath with loads of bubbles with loads of stuff in the bath to play with like plastic jugs and cups to pour water in and out of, cosy pjs and a story at bedtime.