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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep my three nephews up all night?

359 replies

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
Mathair2 · 25/09/2026 21:21

@Upfiner have you actually asked or been told that it didnt effect them though? Because I would silently be annoyed but at the end of the day wouldnt say anything because obviously the person has done me a favour

MyEasterBonnet · 25/09/2026 21:20

Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:12

You could’ve kept them at home.

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I did, after he broke several promises.

I’d say to enjoy fucking up their routine and making them miserable when letting them stay up an hour later would have the same excitement for a 6 year old, but I doubt they have a routine if their parents don’t give a shit either. Poor kids.

saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:20

ridingfreely · 25/09/2026 21:15

At that age it’s not the day after the late night - it’s the day after that and it’s bloody savage

have fun but be aware that such late nights can take 2-3 days for little ones to recover from and it’s brutal

I really don't understand this.

Back in the day my kids had massive sleepovers with their grandparents, along with their similar aged cousins (my in laws were spectacular grandparents). They must have been riotous, but there was no downside for me afterwards. They were fine.

I usually have my DGDs all day after a sleepover and they're good as gold. They pile into my bed in the morning and we don't get out of it until we have to! But even if we get up at normal time, they're fine.

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:18

ridingfreely · 25/09/2026 21:15

At that age it’s not the day after the late night - it’s the day after that and it’s bloody savage

have fun but be aware that such late nights can take 2-3 days for little ones to recover from and it’s brutal

It never took the eldest anything to recover. He woke up later and was fine. Hopefully the two year old will be the same. He’s fine with long haul holidays I think he’ll be alright.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:17

ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:14

Nice friend you are.

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What a burn! 🔥

OP posts:
ridingfreely · 25/09/2026 21:15

At that age it’s not the day after the late night - it’s the day after that and it’s bloody savage

have fun but be aware that such late nights can take 2-3 days for little ones to recover from and it’s brutal

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:15

Ivegotonehandinmypocket · 25/09/2026 21:05

I’d be pissed off if you did this!

I wouldn’t be watching your children then so that would be fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:15

saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:05

Ha ha ha! Since I do much the same when my 6 and 3 year old DGDs sleep over I'm clearly the equivalent of a 16 year old too! Though I've got 54 years on that 16 year old.

My DD is far from a bad parent though.

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Having fun whilst having a sleepover?! Won’t you think of their routine??

OP posts:
ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:14

Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:13

To be honest, I was taking the piss out of my friend. I can’t believe that people would actually care about this.

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Nice friend you are.

saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:14

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

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Routine's all very well until an emergency or other problem disrupts it beyond the child's experience.

Young children need to experience alternatives to their routine, so that they feel secure enough when suddenly their world changes for a day or two.

My eldest DD started to have sleepovers with me, when her mum was pregnant with her little sister. Her mum wanted her to be familiar with sleeping at mine on case it was needed when she went into labour. And it was.

Sleepovers are regular now (for no reason, just because it's fun), and often have a theme, treats and later nights than at home. My DD has never once said that either of the DGDs has been negatively affected in the next day or two. If they had in store she wouldn't be facilitating them happily.

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:13

ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:04

She literally posted in AIBU asking if letting the children stay up as late as they like was unreasonable. Based on my experience it is completely unreasonable. If OP doesn't want to hear different opinions she's in the wrong place, and you can jog on too.

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To be honest, I was taking the piss out of my friend. I can’t believe that people would actually care about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:12

MyEasterBonnet · 25/09/2026 20:41

If the parents don’t care, then it’s up to them, though I think it sounds like poor parenting. They sound very young to be allowing that in my opinion though. My dad used to keep my kids up late in the hope he’d get a lie in. It would wreck our weekend as they’d then be tired and shitty for it.

You could’ve kept them at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:10

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

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They don’t need structure and routine every minute of every day. It’s not feasible.

OP posts:
Ivegotonehandinmypocket · 25/09/2026 21:05

I’d be pissed off if you did this!

saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:05

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

Ha ha ha! Since I do much the same when my 6 and 3 year old DGDs sleep over I'm clearly the equivalent of a 16 year old too! Though I've got 54 years on that 16 year old.

My DD is far from a bad parent though.

ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:04

saraclara · 25/09/2026 11:01

She knows those kids. Their mother knows those kids. You don't. So it's a bit ironic that your criticising her for thinking she knows everything. She knows more about those particular kids than you do.

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She literally posted in AIBU asking if letting the children stay up as late as they like was unreasonable. Based on my experience it is completely unreasonable. If OP doesn't want to hear different opinions she's in the wrong place, and you can jog on too.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 25/09/2026 20:55

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

God you're a boring fucker

MyEasterBonnet · 25/09/2026 20:41

If the parents don’t care, then it’s up to them, though I think it sounds like poor parenting. They sound very young to be allowing that in my opinion though. My dad used to keep my kids up late in the hope he’d get a lie in. It would wreck our weekend as they’d then be tired and shitty for it.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:42

Parents couldn’t care less! They’re just delighted to be having a night child free. They have never issued instructions, they trust me.

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 20:26

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

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Well it’s a huge shame you don’t have anyone who will have your kids overnight. It must be difficult.

It has definitely led to an amazing bond between me and the eldest, and I’m sure it will continue with the younger two too. Nothing better than seeing their excited little faces because they think they’re getting a huge treat because the duvet has come downstairs and they’re allowed to stay up late.

OP posts:
BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:14

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

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Well it’s obviously different if you don’t have anyone who will take your children overnight. That’s not the case for the OP’s sister… she has her sister, who loves her nephews and is happy to have them.

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:05

Ah that’s a shame for her, it’s lovely to have a whole night away with your partner while someone who loves your children cares for them.
She should try it, it’s fun!

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Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:05

Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:54

I said this and she came back to explain that the one in 20 all happened before she had children 😂.

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Ah that’s a shame for her, it’s lovely to have a whole night away with your partner while someone who loves your children cares for them.
She should try it, it’s fun!

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:54

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 19:44

Maybe this is the OP’s sister’s 1 in 20?

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I said this and she came back to explain that the one in 20 all happened before she had children 😂.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:53

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

Which part is the heinous action? Letting them have pizza? The chocolate? Or perhaps the moral failing which is television? Or perhaps for letting them fall asleep on the sofa?

Are your children never allowed to do any of these things? Poor little things.

OP posts: