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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep my three nephews up all night?

360 replies

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
Livpool · 24/09/2026 22:22

I’d do it. Baby and 2 year old will probably zonk out anyway and the oldest will be made up!

globalswimmer · 24/09/2026 22:21

That sounds lovely

Redpaisley · 24/09/2026 22:21

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Social services for kids going to bed a little on a rare occasion ? 😮

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:20

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:08

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Get a grip. She’s allowed a night away with her husband. Good grief.

OP posts:
Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:19

ScotiaLass · 24/09/2026 22:06

Good luck OP. At two years or five months my kids wouldn't have tired themselves out and fallen asleep on the sofa. Without a familiar bedtime routine they'd have gotten over-tired, whipped themselves into a frenzy and stayed up screaming. That's what happened first time I left my eldest overnight with his Dad at 13 months. DH had plenty of experience of caring for him including on his own but DS would not settle and literally did not sleep all night, eventually falling asleep after 6am when DH put him in his highchair to give him breakfast. Wasn't the last time it happened either.

Well I’m a night owl. The eldest never stayed up screaming and I doubt the two year old would, but if he does so be it. He’d have nothing to scream over though, he can do as he pleases.

OP posts:
TotHappy · 24/09/2026 22:18

Oh you guys 😂 my kids stay up late often. They have a bedtime, but go over it more often than not. If we’re travelling, 10.30 is by no means unreasonable. And at 5 months, the baby would just be sleeping on me anyway, no bedtime. They don’t get up at 6 either and never have.

oberuber · 24/09/2026 22:17

It is in the word: sleepover, sleep is over. So of course, they stay up.

Namechangerage · 24/09/2026 22:16

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Are you ok??? Jesus wept.

TallSturdyGirls · 24/09/2026 22:16

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Absolutely. I think that if this were real it would be in the news. People like this deserve to be shot.

Redpaisley · 24/09/2026 22:15

ThePoisedOpalBird · 24/09/2026 21:42

I am a very uptight mum when it comes to schedules etc but when my dad and sister have my toddler everything goes out the window and they run the show how they want (usually with a lot of TV, snacks and a late night). It has never caused a problem for me the next day.

Sounds like a fun evening for all.

Federica1864 · 24/09/2026 22:15

I think it depends on the kids. Mine are early to bedders. I tried let the 7 year old have a late night on NYE and she made it to 9pm by which time she was laying on the sofa looking blurry eyed and asking me to take her up. She wouldn’t find being expected to sleep on the sofa all night fun at all. Maybe your nephews are more night owls.

If I were in your shoes I would get them all down at their normal times and then go to bed and read my kindle so I was in the room with the baby.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:14

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

Because they want a night out. What is so strange about that?😂

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:14

Boreded · 24/09/2026 22:05

Come on…the babies need to go to bed at a reasonable time. Stop trying to be the fun auntie and be reasonable, and ask their parents not the internet.

Put the babies to bed and let the eldest stay up a bit maybe, but only if their parents agree.

The parents are happy for me to look after them any way I see fit.

The youngest would be with me anyway until I go to bed. The two year old can fall asleep whenever he wants.

OP posts:
Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:13

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:10

Because she wants a night out with her partner and probably to relax. Why is that so utterly strange

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

AngelaBB · 24/09/2026 22:12

I would get the younger two to bed and enjoy some fun time with the eldest. He will remember, the little two won’t. Have fun.

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:10

suki1964 · 24/09/2026 22:00

Could do what we did, put the 2 year to bed, and sibling got into bed as well ( they share here ) and when 2 yo fell asleep the sibling snuck out ?

This has worked for us ( as grandparents ) every time . First grandchild, grandad " went to bed " as well

I find life so much easier getting the toddler to bed at 7:30/8 and letting the older child have an extra hour , then cope with tired stroppy kids and a baby in the morning

Ah that has just brought massive flashbacks of my own childhood and having to try and sneak out of the top bunk without my sister (their mother) noticing.

OP posts:
HamHamHam · 24/09/2026 22:10

ThePoisedOpalBird · 24/09/2026 21:42

I am a very uptight mum when it comes to schedules etc but when my dad and sister have my toddler everything goes out the window and they run the show how they want (usually with a lot of TV, snacks and a late night). It has never caused a problem for me the next day.

This basically. When mine goes to her uncles I just accept it's gong to be late nights and snacks. It's not ideal in one sense but it's also great that get to develope a fun independent relationship with their family and they learn that different settings have different rules etc.

Plus it's the trade off for us getting a night out

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:10

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:08

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Because she wants a night out with her partner and probably to relax. Why is that so utterly strange

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 24/09/2026 22:09

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:01

I also once gave the eldest a chocolate yoghurt for breakfast. I tried to give him eggs and soldiers but he swore blind his mother gave him chocolate for breakfast, so who was I to argue?

Might ring SS myself.

The kids of one of the families I nanny for have got very used to post sleepover breakfasts being milky bar yogurts. Who am I to break tradition tbh

Floppyearedlab · 24/09/2026 22:08

Chunkybabythighs · 24/09/2026 21:40

The only person you should be asking is the parent.

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:08

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I have reported your posts. I am baffled as to how an auntie having a sleepover with three nephews is strange to you though. Maybe you live a very lonely life or had a very lonely childhood?

OP posts:
Catza · 24/09/2026 22:08

Boreded · 24/09/2026 22:05

Come on…the babies need to go to bed at a reasonable time. Stop trying to be the fun auntie and be reasonable, and ask their parents not the internet.

Put the babies to bed and let the eldest stay up a bit maybe, but only if their parents agree.

She already asked the parents. They are fine with this.

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:06

CaptainCalm · 24/09/2026 21:56

I think you might be overestimating the stamina of a 2yr old. The chances of my 2yr olds staying up late, watching a whole film (no way this would have happened) whilst eating lots of chocolate and it not ending in tears were slim.

Hopefully he’ll fall asleep at a reasonable time and you can have a nice cuddle with the 6yr old before a little bit late but not next day ruining bedtime.

Bedtime doesn’t have to be awful, you use the word ‘wrestle’ but it can be a nice time to wind down and connect, it doesn’t have to be negative. Your evening sounds fun, if it works, but equally there are other ways to be the cool aunty

I want him to fall asleep. I don’t want to take him to bed and him keep getting up knowing his brother and I are downstairs.

I always tell the eldest he can stay up as late as he likes. He loves it and is asleep by 10:30pm.

OP posts:
ScotiaLass · 24/09/2026 22:06

Good luck OP. At two years or five months my kids wouldn't have tired themselves out and fallen asleep on the sofa. Without a familiar bedtime routine they'd have gotten over-tired, whipped themselves into a frenzy and stayed up screaming. That's what happened first time I left my eldest overnight with his Dad at 13 months. DH had plenty of experience of caring for him including on his own but DS would not settle and literally did not sleep all night, eventually falling asleep after 6am when DH put him in his highchair to give him breakfast. Wasn't the last time it happened either.

Catza · 24/09/2026 22:06

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 22:01

I also once gave the eldest a chocolate yoghurt for breakfast. I tried to give him eggs and soldiers but he swore blind his mother gave him chocolate for breakfast, so who was I to argue?

Might ring SS myself.

Ha. I am the same. I babysat my little cousins and friends' kids my entire life and have exactly the same approach as you. I must say they are all either adults with their own children or older teenagers now and didn't seem to come to any harm from staying up late and having chocolate cake for breakfast. And none of them were taken into care due to my lack of adherence to their bedtime.